It Takes Guts!


“It takes guts to get out of the ruts.” ~ Robert H. Schuller

This morning I really didn’t want to leave the cozy warm comfortable bed.  If you can believe it we had snow yesterday and it continues, yuck.  The end of September and snowing.  Of course in Saskatchewan, Canada if you don’t like the weather wait five minutes and it will change.  I had to get up and moving this morning for I had an appointment with my podiatrist.

I realise there are mornings like that with every one, mornings where you want to stay in place but you have to work so that you can put a roof above your head and food on the table.  

Now add in a dose of mental health issues and you have a much different picture.  Depression, anxiety attacks, plus many more, all which can leave you totally frozen petrified in place.  You are almost queasy, legs of rubber  just the thought of going out among people.

So, that was me this morning dreading having to be out in the snow, slush, and puddles of water.  Yet, I finally put my feet on the floor, did my medication routine, showered, dressed and went to my appointment.

If you are dealing with mental health issues, or maybe know someone who is and they are at least functionally, you are someone, or looking at someone who has alot of guts!

Devil’s Workshop

“Idle people are often bored and bored people, unless they sleep a lot, are cruel. It is not accident that boredom and cruelty are great preoccupations in our time.” ~ Renata Adler

For the record I am not a cruel person!

Relax, this is not a sermon!  Haha!

Living alone has it positives and negatives.  Most days are positive, it is the evening and nightime that are negatives.

I find myself being bored alot of the times.  There is only so many things to do, the time seems to stand still.  

My mother found how to get me to do certain things, she would just bluntly tell me I can’t do it.  Well, to me that was a challenge, and challenges were the things that motivated me.  My biggest challenge was teaching myself the piano.  Not popular songs, but rather Hymns and Gospel songs.  I perfected that challenge and was travelling within five years.

One other challenge was when personal computers first hit the market.  Windows 3.1 was the operating system.  A lawyer friend told me just try different things, not to worry if I crashed it.  I took the challenge and learned Windows 3.1 in and out.  Moving on with each new version from Microsoft.

For me to keep moving forward I need to find and face new challenges.  Without them my mind can sometimes become the “devil’s playground”.

Routine Blahs


When you have a system, you kind of get in a routine of what’s important. And then you spend a lot more time on thinking of things that would make it better.

Nick Saban

When in treatment they stressed that you followed a daily regiment.  Breakfast, meditation, shower, get dressed, and many other things for the day.

I would cope quite well while there, and would do well for a lengthy period of time when back at home.  Eventually I would fall back into old habits.  Since I live alone I do not have someone to do for.  I basically follow my feelings from day to day with the exception of taking all of my medications for each day.

As of this writing I am having routine blahs, nothing seems to motivate me, nothing except lethargy which is terrible as a person that leans towards depression.  Going for walks with my dog is fine but I just cannot spark any real enthusiasm.

So here I am sitting in front of my laptop suffering with a bad case of routine blahs!

Advocate, The Best Person For The Job

Webster’s defines an advocate as a person who pleads another’s cause, or who speaks or writes in support of something. A lawyer is an advocate when he represents his client in a courtroom. … A good advocate does his or her homework, and follows through on what they say they’re going to do.Jul 31, 2010

Have you ever listened to a child who is going through cancer treatment?  I have and it breaks my heart.  That child when he/she talks speaks as what an adult would say.  Their knowledge about the cancer and treatment is deep.  The disease demands for a child to grow up too fast.

When I attemted suicide with a bottle of sleeping pills caused me to have to learn about depression, being bipolar and a myriad of other things.  I still am learning about the issue of being bi-polar, the medications that my psychiatrist prescribes.  I quickly learned that I could not be passive about the issue I was dealing with.

I learned that I am my own best advocate!

Not One Red Cent!


“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
– C.S. Lewis

When I moved to where I live now I fell in love with the place.  I did not know alot of people, to be truthful I only knew two people. This city of around thirty thousand in population was completely foreign to me.  It was not the city of Windsor whose neighbour across the Detroit River was The Motor City, Detroit.  It lacked the face pace of Canada’s largest city of Toronto.

The sign of the city reads something like this: Moose Jaw, the Friendly City. It lives up to the description on that sign.  I could be walking somewhere around the city and people who I have never met would give you a cheery “Hello”.  It is still exactly the same.

I have lived here since about 1994.  I have lived in my home now for twenty-two years.  I know the name of all my neighbours and they know my name.  They also know my dog, they also usually have treats for the dog, the dog knows that they do.

Even the cashier clerks in the Walmart store knows my name, I know theirs also.

I have learned over the years is that friendship and showing friendliness does not cost one red cent.

Proverbs 18:24 King James Version (KJV)

24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

I am Overwhelmed!


I was just overwhelmed today.  I took a look at some of the numbers concerning this blog. 

  • Seventy six follows
  • One Post received eighteen likes

My extended family and friends has grown exponentially.  As I read the posts on the blogs I am following I have begun to understand each and every individual, it feels like I have known them for an extended length of time.

My taste and interests in the blogs I follow are wide and various.  I have met fellow Canadians, Clergy, Marketing Experts, and beyond.

There have been days when I could feel depression settling within me, then I would turn to all my blogger friends and find words that mean something to me, they also uplift me.

There are two words that a person should always say to those who mean something to them.



“Per Chance To Dream”

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

My best friend and I have this ongoing debate about people dreaming.  He states, “everybody dreams”, my reply, “I don’t dream”. He tells me that I must dream, it is just that I do not remember them.  I am not sure which is factual.

When I was about fourteen I did have a dream, a dream to be able to travel as a musician for an itinerant preacher.  I saw that dream come true just before my eighteenth birthday.  I was elated for I was able to see most of my home country of Canada and many parts of the United States.  It didn’t cost me a penny, but rather a weekly salary.

I do believe dreams is what keeps us moving forward in life.  Dreams of having a great career, a wonderful marriage and then a terrific family.  Without them we would lose our zest for life and truly no meaningful reason to put our feet on the floor every morning.

Now I look forward to seeing the dreams of my grandchildren unfold during the pre-teen lives. One in hockey and two girls who excel in dance. Watching them grow into fine young people.  Yes, it is those three children that gives me a reason to get of my bed every day.

To quote Shakespeare, maybe out of context:

“To be, or not to be – that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune …

“…’Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep —
To sleep – perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil…”


Inspiration, Where?

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

For the past several days I have been in a fog.  Try as I might I just cannot seem to be inspired from anywhere, or anything.

The places I use to find inspiration from seem so distant.  Yes, I go through the motions of how I use to find my inspiration, but come away empty.  Maybe, I am consumed at the moment about certain events that have transpired around me. 

As a pastor, evangelist, and gospel musician and singer I could reach down into me and find my inspiration at any given time.  For this moment though that seems to feel foreign to me.

All the coffee, blog post reading, and even up tempo music just doesn’t do the trick.

I ask you, the reader if you would, take a moment and tell me where you find inspiration to write.

So, my question today is, inspiration, where?

Join The Fight With Me!

Today I finally said “enough is enough”!  I wrote an anchor on MSNBC.

As I quoted on a previous post, “I am as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”!

Here is what I wrote after I found how to contact them:

Sept. 11, 2019 – Stephanie Rhule
You had on your hour Rep. Tom Reed(R) discussing gun laws.
You had an opportunity to push back and dispel the myth of mass shooters and those who have mental health issues. The truth is there is no evidence that supports the myth that mass shooters were suffering with bi-polar.
It is a fact those with bi-polar, like myself, are more likely to harm themselves than to hurt anyone else.
The media could do the general public a great service and have on some psychiatrists, psychologists, and even those who are bi-polar to give out facts about mental health issues.
Those like the congressman are just spouting the NRA points. They are using the issue of mental health and bi-polar communities as scapegoats.
Be the first, do something to break the myths out there!

Join the fight, write your congressman, senator, media personality and give them the facts on Mental Health Issues!


Itchy Feet

*** Before you close this post, it is not about athlete’s foot.***


In the summer of 1997 my best friend came and knocked on my apartment door.  It was not the best place, but it was all that I could afford at the time.  He began to tell me that there was a mobile home that he thought I might be interested in.  The owner was willing to sell it to me on a rent-to-own basis.  So, I decided to take a look at the place.  It was far larger than my current accomadations.  After looking through the home I talked to the owner and decided I would take it.

In mid August that year I moved in.  I didn’t have much for furniture so the place looked relatively empty.  Once settled in I made a phone call to my mother.  I went through the niceties then I told her about my decision to buy the mobile home.  Her reply to the news was simple, “don’t get itchy feet“!

She knew me. She knew that when I would find that when I faced tough situations I would pack and run from it.  Truth be told it was my way of not facing hard situations head on.  At other times I would just simply ignore the situation which just caused more damage.

I have just recently learned that we all have built into us a fight or flight response.  For me nine times out of ten I would choose flight response.

There have been times while living in my current home where I was facing a tough time that I wanted to just run away.  Yet, every time I gave thought to running I could hear my mother’s voice in my head.

“Don’t get itchy feet”!

p.s – I just finished twenty-two years in this mobile home which I own outright.

My Message To The Media!

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell: I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
I want you to get up right now. Sit up. Go to your windows. Open them and stick your head out and yell – ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not gonna take this anymore!’ Things have got to change. But first, you’ve gotta get mad!…You’ve got to say, I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE! Then we’ll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first, get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

Dear Media:

This is my recommendation for the next time there is someone who goes on a rampage and starts to mow down multiples of people.  This is for when someone out of their own ignorance blames it on the community of bi-polar people

Where are the professionals such as the psychiatrists, psychologists, the clinicians.  I look for some network to have the intestinal fortitude to have these on the news segments debunking the myth that all serial killers are bi-polar.  That is not the case.  There is no evidence  to back up that claim, at least not from very credible sources.

Yes, I know I am only one voice, but, I am one irate voice who is tired of people spouting off baseless statements, using the bi-polar community as scapegoats.

So dear Media, it is time for someone, everyone, to stand up and shout, “We’re as mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore”.