Insecurity, Depression


Depression lies. It tells you you’ve always felt this way, and you always will. But you haven’t, and you won’t. Halley Cornell

Wisdom Quotes About Depression

A preacher friend use to say this “when you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on.

All through my life I have never liked myself.  Too many things that I thought that I wish I could change them.

As I grew older and started to play music in different churches, etc., I learned how to mask my true feelings.  I could play the Gospel Songs, I would enjoy the moment. It was after the meeting was over, then without anyone around I would begin to feel that heaviness come over me again, again, and again.  Many times I would just wish/pray that I could pass away while I was sleeping.

Growing up there was no “putting on airs” about us.  Mom was a great cook, she always had a hot meal for us.  It was always around six p.m.. We sat together as a family, phone calls from friends was a taboo.  

Then I started travelling with the evangelist.  I found myself in strange situations, sitting down with my hosts for a meal.  There I looked and there were strange silverware, no not strange in how they looked, but, it was that there was more than one fork, etc., 

Glassware was the same.  I learned how to wait until I saw how the host/s started to eat their meals.  I copied their movements. 

Also with what was served as the meal.  I knew better than not to insult the host/s by not eating the meal.  So, I started developing a different taste palette of foods. One food that I soon learned to love was jumbo shrimp.

When it comes to crowds I still have a difficult time mingling with people.  I am self conscious of my teeth.  My teeth are crooked, they just are ugly as far as I am concerned. Because of that insecurity I do not like my picture taken.

I could spend more time writing on this post but the list is way too long.  

So, I am always reminding myself that there are other people who probably have insecurities just like me!


10 thoughts on “Insecurity, Depression

  1. Yes, we all have insecurities and I appreciate that you share yours. It’s hard to remember sometimes that no one is perfect and that we all feel the same way about a lot of things. On a side note, I can’t seem to like any of your posts lol, but my comments are finally going through. I promise I’ve been here 🙂 I keep trying haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I believe being up front, opening up my feelings is the way I feel is best. For me I feel that if I am having issues with something there must be others having them too.
      I am so glad your comments are now coming through.
      Thank you for your support. Angie, the opposite is also true.
      BTW, our premier has enacted some strong measures. Basically stay at home. Bars, restaurants are ordered to close. Only essential services will be allowed to operate.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes sir I am up there with insecurities too. I actually have a medically missing tooth and have to wear a retainer with a prosthetic one (basically dentures with a wire). I have a cleft lip and palate so I have no bone there to hold a tooth. I had to wear braces from 8-15yo and I’m only 21 now. My cleft and my missing tooth is a huge insecurity of mine and I feel like that’s what people stare at so I definitely understand why your smile may bother you.

    Liked by 1 person

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