A Re-Blog: Who’d have Anxiety, panic attacks and psychotic depression? — Mental health 360°

Have you ever had anxiety, panic attacks, depression or psychosis? I don’t know which is worse; the anxiety, panic attacks, depression or the psychosis. But to have them altogether, spelt H.E.L.L. For those of you who don’t already know, I started writing about my journey some six months ago. I only ever intended to write…

via Who’d have Anxiety, panic attacks and psychotic depression? — Mental health 360°

A Re-Blog: OCD struggles! — Priyanshi writes 🥀

I want to tell them that I don’t pretend it, , I want to tell them that why would I pretend to have something as terrible as OCD, I want to tell them that arranging things in symmetry is not funnyI want to tell them that I couldn’t give my best in the outer world […]

via OCD struggles! — Priyanshi writes 🥀

Attention, Get In Line, Please!

Image by Wendy Koon from Pixabay 

If you’re impatient while waiting for the bus, tell yourself you’re doing ‘Bus waiting meditation.’ If you’re standing in a slow line at the drugstore, you’re doing ‘Waiting in line meditation.’ Just saying these words makes me feel very spiritual and high-minded and wise.

Gretchen Rubin

I spoke with my aunt today, we talking about different things when shopping for groceries came up.  She told me that she went to go shopping and the line was longer than the building.  She just turned around and went home, had her son do the shopping for her.

I know that in certain stores where I live limit the number of people who go in.  Tomorrow I plan on doing grocery shopping.  I will go at the early hour that is only for seniors to avoid lineups.

If I thought that there was going to be a lineup like the one my aunt experienced I just may turn around and head for home. There are times I can be impatient, so I hope that this will not be the case when shopping.  Lineups like those on Boxing Day I try to avoid.  I tried to shop one Boxing Day, I have never tried to do that again.

So, this is one shopper that will be praying for patience when shopping!

I Will Not Panic, That’s My Final Answer!


“Being under stress is like being stranded in a body of water. If you panic, it will cause you to flail around so that the water rushes into your lungs and creates further distress. Yet, by calmly collecting yourself and using controlled breathing you remain afloat with ease.”
― Alaric Hutchinson,Living Peace: Essential Teachings for Enriching Life

I know, it is easy and almost a cop-out to tell someone “Don’t Panic”.  For something that this writer doesn’t understand but by telling a person that it seems to heighten their panic.

Along with panic there is a close relative emotion that tags along, frustration.  It is almost unavoidable these days not to feel frustration, not to panic realizing that the rent is due this week.

Now mix in insomnia and you have a disaster looking for a place to happen.  Trying to force yourself to go to sleep in the meanwhile images of all the bills that need to be paid but the bank account tells you that you are overdrawn.

No matter who you speak with you can definitely hear the frustration and panic in their voice.  A neighbor is somewhat like me, not going out in hesitation worrying about covid-19.  

Yet, I need to go grocery shopping this week so that the cupboards do not start looking bare.  At least if I go to the big “W” I can go during the first hour that is reserved for seniors, or those who have compromised immune systems. I won’t decide until the very last minute whether I go or have my best friend do my shopping.

So, I all can do in this time and space is to tell myself “Don’t Panic”!

A Re-Blog: Best Ways To Relieve Stress It Kills — No Stress

Best Ways To Relieve Stress It Kills “Stress kills” is a common phrase that most people think of as a figure of speech, but recent discoveries show that stress can actually have a negative impact at the cellular level. We all have stress in our lives; our jobs, friends, families, hobbies and more are all…

via Best Ways To Relieve Stress It Kills — No Stress

Vincent Ehindero Award


I would like to thank Cherie White at Chateau Cherie for this nomination.


Thank the person that nominated you with a link to their blog.

Make a post of the award (with a photo.)

Post the rules.

Ask 5-10 questions of your choice.

Nominate 10-30 other bloggers.

Follow Vincent Ehindero at vincentehindero.wordpress.com (to qualify for a free blog promotion and shoutout) and more blogging opportunities.

Here are my answers to the questions from Cherie.

1. How do you juggle your blogging time with time at work and family time?

I do not work, rather I am on a disability allowance.  So, juggling work, home, and blog is quite simple. I really don’t have any hard rules about things.  Most of the time I wait until evening when I know I won’t have distractions to write on my blog.

2. What are some other hobbies you have besides writing?

On good days I sometimes like to read, I also crochet some during the winter making afghans for friends or family.  When I am feeling one hundred percent I love to bake.

3. Have you published a book?

No, I have not published a book.  Although I have dreamed about it.

4. What are some things you like to do for recreation?

When able to I love to walk with my dog Natalie.

5. What is your favorite genre of music and who are your favorite musicians?

My favorite music is Southern Gospel. Artists like, The Gaither Vocal Band, Jeff & Sherri Easter, The Happy Goodmans.  

I also like to listen to people like Michael Buble, Patsy Cline, George Jones.

6. Name your favorite authors and why?

Sidney Sheldon for his mystery style books.  Arthur Conan Doyle the creator of Sherlock Holmes.

The very top and first is The Bible!

Questions For My Nominees:

  1. If you could be anyone living or dead who would that be?
  2. Using just one word how would you describe yourself?
  3. Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?
  4. Name one thing that if you had the means to do it what would that be?
  5. Are you a cat or dog person, or maybe both?

My Nominees Are:

The Mysterious Bloger  https://getthemysteriousblogger.com/

Chelsea Ann Owens  https://chelseaannowens.com/

Angie at Mama Chat Coffee https://mamacoffeechat.home.blog/

mjf of How to Be Cool  https://knowhowtobecool.wordpress.com/

Leola Durant at My Creators Creation  https://leoladurant.com/

Bella at Bellas Babbles  https://bellasbabbles.com/

No Stress at https://stress-management.tk/

Mark Wester at Overcoming OCD  https://over-coming-ocd.com/

John at Managing Yourself  https://johnranjit.wordpress.com/

Renee at Heart Tokens  https://hearttokens.home.blog/

Kim McKinney at In The Box, Out of The Box  https://kimberleymckinney.com/

V at Millennial Life Crisis  https://millenniallifecrisis.org/

Thank you to all the bloggers I have met along my journey of blogging!

It Could Always Be Worse!


The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be. – Author: Dorothy Parker    It Could Be Worse Quotes

For the last several days I have not been feeling the best.  It’s not something that I can honestly say what it is.  It’s not the flu, cold, just a feeling of not one hundred percent.

Growing up if we were sick our mother would not let us lay around in the living room.  She believed if we were really sick, the best place to be was our bed.

She taught us to show empathy towards those who are suffering.  We would never make fun of anyone with a physical, mental challenges.  Today it is open season when it comes to making fun of someone who is different than themselves.  If they are from a different country, skin a different shade of color, then it is pedal to the floor with racism.

If we are paying attention it is easy to look around to find out that maybe, just maybe, our situation could be worse.  That cures the self-pity party!

So, my heart goes out to all those who are grieving tonight from the loss of a loved one, or a friend!  For those I will be praying for. May they find strength while facing such great sorrow!

***Yes dear reader, it could always be worse! ***

A Re-Blog: OCD: a Living Hell of Uncertainty — Overcoming OCD

Our world is full of uncertainty and all of us encounter situations that we just can not control. Uncertainty is something that we need to accept and live together with even if it is not an easy thing to do. And if you’re suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, accepting the fact that you can not […]

via OCD: a Living Hell of Uncertainty — Overcoming OCD



One of the major sources of stress, anxiety, and unhappiness comes from feeling as if your life is out of control.

— David Cottrell

In an news article found at: 1130 City News wrote about that the Canadian Mental Health Association is telling the feds that there could be an “echo pandemic” of mental illness.  The article gave a summary about the article, it listed three things.

  1. The CMHA is calling on the federal government for more funding to help people struggling with mental health issues
  2.  Association says feds need to help Canadians struggling now, before problem gets worse after COVID-19
  3.  If funding doesn’t come through, CMHA fears an ‘echo pandemic’ of mental health after the health crisis ends

I have paid attention to some interviews that the news has picked up from people who are keeping video diaries during this shutdown.  They all spoke about the anxiety they are feeling.

Some are expressing how they feel helpless because they cannot be with a family member or a friend during their dying hours.

It is a frightening thing to have feelings of not being in control.  Nerves become frayed, tempers flare, depression sets in, all manner of anxieties enters your life.  Physical and emotional abuse ticks up in calls to authorities.

Of what I understand here in Canada the government has already planned for four months of restrictions in place.  In America people are protesting the stay-at-home orders.

When I was living in Toronto that’s when things went spiraling out of control.  My doctor prescribed Prozac, which left me feeling numb.  I was a mess, living but not feeling.

When I first started having panic attacks I still can remember how I felt like everything was out of control.  This lead to my attempted suicide. 

I have no suggestions on how to handle the feeling of being out of control.  Circumstances widely vary from person to person, house to house.

So, all that I can do is brace for a long ride into fall!

Somebody Pass The Salt


Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not ‘yours,’ not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you. Eckhart Tolle
Read more at Boredom-Quotes

Around my neighborhood if you were to ask someone how they were doing the reply would be one word, “bored”.  I can imagine this would hold true in any neighborhood in any corner of the world.

There is only so many games of cards you can play, reading books is at a standstill because the library is closed, television has become tiresome trying to keep away from the cable tv.

I do not handle boredom that well I become antsy and uptight.  I just don’t have any idea left on what I can do around my house.  Cooking is at a minimum because eating too much seems to put on the pounds.

My dog Natalie is usually good for a laugh or two.  Nice to have sit by me and just cuddle on the couch while I am reading a Kindle edition of a book.

So, the list is too long to count the number of different emotions I have during any twenty-four hour period.  I wonder how others are coping with this dreaded thing called “boredom”!

 I just need some spice in my life at this moment.  Somebody pass the salt!

There Is Always Hope!


Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. Desmond Tutu

Hope Quotes

My story is true, almost unbelievable, yet nevertheless true.  It is the marvelous journey of my paternal grandfather.

There probably not many who can say this, I watched my grandfather go to school.

My grandfather went through at the time was ground breaking.  He had to have brain surgery.  This was back in the late fifties or early sixties.  During the surgery he died.  However, they were able to revive him.  

This is where I can remember the rest of this story.

I do not ever recall my grandfather speaking fluent English.  The surgery and the death left him pretty much a blank slate.  So, he had to learn to speak again, then he had to go back to school to learn to read and write.

When we went to visit he would call my dad, he called him Micky.  He would be excited and he would pull out paper to show what he had done in school.  It truly was something to see him be so excited.  Sometimes though he could not find the correct words, so every once in a while he would blurt ‘gd’ (I am using the short form).

This crisis we are going through is taking an extreme toll on people’s ability to have hope.  Everyone asking the same question, “when can we come out of our houses”.

I shared my grandfather’s journey to let everyone know, “There is always hope”!

A Re-blog: Anxiety Cure — No Stress

Anxiety Cure Summary: Psychological therapies are much more effective anxiety cure than medications. It is normal for people to experience anxiety from to time. It makes us cope from very stressful situations. But when anxiety becomes too much and turns into irrational fear of everyday circumstances, it becomes a debilitating anxiety disorder. Unlike short-lived, mild…

via Anxiety Cure — No Stress

Normal, What’s That?


The problem of living is at bottom an economic one. And this alone is bad enough, even in a period of so-called “normalcy.” But living has been considerably complicated of late in various ways – by war, by questions of personal liberty, and by “menaces” of one kind or another. Votes: 3

Benton MacKaye

The latest catch phrase is “the new normal“.  Experts on news shows say we will never go back to “normal“.  For some that is frightening, for they need the old normal, structure, schedules, deadlines, etc., I have heard opinions about the reason why prisoners when released back into society and re-offend.  They offer the opinion that some of those are use to the structure of prison life.  They have no skills in coping in a fast paced society.

Now everyone has a different normal.  Mine has changed over the years, some for good, others for the frustration.  I have heard it said that people starting out in the workforce will probably change their career at least two times.

I am not sure what my normal will look like after this turbulent times.  Maybe, I am worrying for naught, I will see.

I realize for those who are bi-polar like me sometimes the unknown can cause anxiety.  In my past things unknown was trouble, I would get jumpy, irritable, almost angry to where I would want to lash out.  It was during these times when a relationship with someone would go up in flames.

So, I hope that when the “new normal” arrives it better come with a handbook!


Image by John Hain from Pixabay

“Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate.”
― William Arthur Ward      Quotes About Admiration

My grandmother once said, “Give me my roses while I’m living”.  How true that is!  How many times do we gather for someone’s home going thinking that oh if I had only told him/her how much I love them how much they meant to me.

This post is some things I have come to admire in the WordPress community.  I will not try to name each blogger for fear I may miss one.

So here goes.  Hope this doesn’t sound sappy!

I have come to admire the diversity from one blogger to the next.  Things like how some can brutally speak their mind.  For others how they can write a great piece of fiction.  Then there are those who write honestly and upfront about their home life, maybe exposing themselves to some critics.

Then there are the artists.  Why them, because I can’t draw a straight line even with a ruler.  Artists that draw beautiful portraits, the abstracts, and the collages.

I love having photos, those of family, friends, and even places visited.  So I admire anyone who can seem to aim a camera and turn out such beautiful photos, photos of nature, events they attend, photos of their pets, the ones of wild life.

I was never great at writing poems.  Most poems I just don’t quite get the thought that is being portrayed.  Yet, I truly admire those who put pen to paper and produce such flowing words that paint a beautiful picture for the mind.

So, hats off to all you bloggers, bloggers from all walks of life, different corners of the world, multi cultural bloggers.  So, fellow bloggers let me say, how much this blogger admires everyone of you!

Just The Facts Ma’am, Just The Facts…


The human mind can solve the problem of climate change, but the world is ruled by the mind of politicians, and this low mind always produce problems, let alone solve a problem!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan  Climate Change Denial

What I am about to write about one class in high school I am not proud of.  It was my Science class.  The subject was, “evolution”.  At that time I believed pure and simple that it was “creationist”.  I balked at the subject.  I can remember how I argued with the science teacher.  Then came an exam and the subject was about “evolution”. My answer was “God created…”.  Of course I flunked that exam.  I started demanding that my answer be accepted.  The fight lasted for days, finally I believe the principal made a decision that my answer be allowed.  Today, I still believe as a “creationist”, but I probably wouldn’t make a stink over it.

We have seen in the news for several years the theory about vaccines causes autism.  Mothers who refuse having their child vaccinated.  Disease that once was eradicated are now back and thriving, smallpox is one of them.

As of this writing in Canada we have seen six hundred and growing people who have died.  In America there has been twenty-four thousand plus deaths due to the Covid-19 virus. 

I am amazed to the number of people in leadership in America who are stubbornly fighting against the science of this pandemic.  Just in total denial!

One man was shopping and deliberately coughed on the money that he was going to use to pay for his shopping.  A preacher in VA several weeks ago had a church service in spite of the warnings of large gatherings.  He ended up contracting Covid-19. Now in the news today the preacher has now died due to the virus.

So, this fifty-eight year old guy wants just the facts, just the facts!

A Heaping Dose of Doubt


“I seek strength, not to be greater than other, but to fight my greatest enemy, the doubts within myself”― P.C. Cast    Quotes About Self Doubt

This staying in is starting to have some ill affects to me.  Now, it could be things that have been ingrained in from my youth.  Today after I wrote my post, “Back to The Future” and I hit the publish button I just had a wave of self doubt come over me.  

Maybe, it is a total flop, people will have negative comments ( that has never happened to me). I just couldn’t shake those flashes of thoughts in my mind.

Growing up wasn’t a complete cake walk. Being bullied, laughed at, and only minimum support from my dad.  My mother did all that she could do to boaster my esteem.

 I found the great website that has all means of self esteem boosting sayings.  Click on the link directly after the above quote to find them.  I think I will use some of them on a weekly basis.

Everyone sometimes need a shot of encouragement now and then.  If you are having self doubt, I can tell you, you are not alone.

So, I am going to pull up my boot straps and get back up and keep on writing!

Back To The Future?

quill & ink & paper

“How wonderful it is to be able to write someone a letter! To feel like conveying your thoughts to a person, to sit at your desk and pick up a pen, to put your thoughts into words like this is truly marvelous.”
― Haruki Murakami,  Norwegian Wood

I would like to re-introduce an old idea, one that was personal, one that could be intimate, something that required thought, an effort.  This is pre-email, the idea is old fashion letter writing.

I can remember looking forward to receiving a letter from my mother, a good friend.  It was the way to keep in touch with love ones, and friends.  During times of war fiances would write the husband to be on the battle field.  They would take out their best stationery, find their finest pen, write a intimate letter.  Then before sealing it they would take one of their best perfumes and put a touch of it on the letter.

I love letter writing, if you concentrate you can create your own style or develop it into an art.  I love to receive letters, it tells you that the person took time to assemble their thoughts, took time to sit to write the letter.  Then take an effort to put it into the postal system.

During these long hours of being confined to our limited spaces how great it would be to take some personal time to share a letter of ones thoughts.  Prepare the envelope and drop it in a local mail box.

So, maybe we can go back to past times and bring them forward to this time and space!

Familiar Things


It’s wrong to become a bully yourself or to take it out on other people, and in my case, I just retreated to a place where I was safe. And that place was my imagination, books, and television. Paul Dini
Read more at Retreat to Safe Places

Today I wanted to be around some things that felt familiar, things that made me feel warm inside, made me feel safe.  Places I was comfortable in.

Growing up my one place that made me feel safe, comfortable, warm, was my grandmothers place.  I always knew that I was welcomed, knew there was always someone to support me.

Today, like so many, this holiday feels like there is something missing.  At my home church every Good Friday, for as long as my memory takes me, there would be special music guests, and maybe a special speaker.  There would be two services with lunch in between.

What’s missing for me today are those type of moments, moments that you cherish the rest of your living days.  Days full of laughter, food, music, and enough pictures to fill several albums.

I can probably guess that I am not the only one in the world who is feeling sort of empty.  Easter for many in the world is a day of rejoicing.  Yet, the rejoicing today feels hollow without others to join in the event.

My most favorite memory of my grandmother is that every once in awhile she would say, “let’s go for a piece of pie and a coffee”.  It was rather nice to go to town and find a small cafe, order a piece of pie and coffee, then just sit there enjoying the moment.

It, sure would be nice to hear those words, drive to a cafe, order a piece of apple pie and coffee.  Just to sit talking with someone and soaking in the warmth of the moment!

Write, Right, Or Read First.


Read, read, read. Read everything – trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it.
Then write. If it’s good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out of the window.” 
― William Faulkner  Quotes About Writing

I have been doing some reading.  Read a best seller about “Trump the stable genius”, one about tyranny, and now reading George Orwell’s book “1984”.

I honestly love to read, prefer hard copy, but sometimes the price dictates for me so at times I have to use the Kindle E-Book.

Somewhere in my memory is the thought that conveyed that if a man reads he can self educate.  I have looked to find the exact quote so I can give it the proper author.

I still use the methods learned in high school about how to structure an essay, etc.,  The other part of me is still to tie in the ending with the beginning thought. 

Then, there is still part of me about ministerial pastoral to leave a message on a positive note.

I can understand for some taking time to read would be such a luxury.  They have such a hectic life with many activities the whole day.  So, maybe if one can, steal away some time to pick up a book and read.

Reading allows me to escape into a world other than my own.  A time to forget the pressures that are on me day and night.  It allows my brain to switch focus, gives my mind something other than bi-polar information.

I write for it is for me in many ways that curbs my random, scattered shot thoughts.  I can express my thoughts in an orderly fashion.  Yes, there are extra benefits, when people read they can click “like” or share their thoughts in the comment section under a post.

I write that shapes my focus away from the news of the day.  At the moment there is only so much a person can take about how many new infections, or how many died during a twenty-four period.

Writing is a release valve on depression, like the valve used on pressure cookers.

So, here it is the ending to this post!  I just wanted to give you a bit more insight of what truly makes me tick!


Taking A Deep Breath…

lake-landscape-1512925858oteThe Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
enjoying one moment at a time; 
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will; 
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next. 

reinhold niebuhr (1892-1971)

I woke up this morning with this prayer on my mind.  So, I decided to post it for I feel it speaks to the times we are living.

I have no power to change what is happening, so I must just relax.

I need to learn just to live one day at time.

I am trying to accept these hard times so that I can find peace during them.

Those are just some added thoughts that I am feeling at this moment.

So dear reader, maybe you do not believe in prayer, but maybe try to find a way to apply the perspectives found in the Serenity Prayer.

For all the rest I would encourage you to stop and say the Serenity Prayer.  I hope in doing so that you will find peace flow throughout you today!

Take Time To Smell The Roses!


Getting lost in the ‘big picture’ often prevents us from cherishing the ‘small moments’ that make it all worthwhile…”
― J.R. Wirth   Smell The Roses

On my laptop I have my screen change pictures randomly, today the picture above flashed on my screen.  This is what inspired me to write this post.

I find myself at times being sucked into the abyss called “Covid-19”.  It permeates all facets in the media, t.v., newspapers, online, and there is probably other venues that escapes me at the moment.

For many they have been cut off from the physical support, the one on one socializing.  For a senior person they may only have a landline phone to connect them to family, friends. A neighbor is staying with his mother so that she will not be alone at this critical time.

As I am writing this post I find myself thinking about some great memories that brings a warmth, a smile, and contentment.  Memories like when my daughter was born how that I held her even before they bathed her after the birth.  Watching a friend who I asked if he would like to hold her, watching tears flow freely down his face as he held my daughter.

I have been finding myself thinking about green grass, flowers, vegetable gardens, all things to ease the uneasiness that overtakes me at times.

Seeing a post from Chelsea sharing a picture of her baby boy.  How it brought a smile to my face.  Somehow babies seem to do this for me.  How simple their world is, their only concerns are being fed, kept dry, and feeling love that bonds them to mother, father, siblings, and grandparents.

I am finding some escape by watching one of my favorite channels, Discovery Science. Being amazed at the wonderful universe we are part of.  The majesty that is planet earth as seen from outer space.

So, dear reader if you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, depressed by the current situations, I encourage you to stop, take time to enjoy the pleasures that are all around.

Stop, Smell The Roses!

On The Front Lines


“A big round of applause goes to all the doctors, nurses, and medical staff who are working around the clock at hospitals and medical centers around the globe. They are the True Heroes of the World. They are leading from the front and are battling this dreaded disease, the COVID 19, head-on.

At a great risk to their lives, they are working tirelessly for the good and safety of others. They truly deserve to be recognized and appreciated for their incredible ongoing efforts.

God bless them and their families. ”
― Avijeet Das     Medical Professionals

Several posts back I wrote “A Day of Appreciation” celebrating the nurses who work tirelessly at all hospitals.

For this post I would like to tell you about some great doctors and nurses I interacted with at St. Joseph’s Hospital in London, Ontario.  I am not trying to receive sympathy, just shining a light on some great people.

It was the holiday season of 1999 when I received word that my mother had taken ill and was transported to the hospital in London, Ontario.  That if I wanted to see her I would have to hurry before she passes away.

I made several phone calls to help find the money to take a bus from Saskatchewan, Canada to the Windsor area.  The trip would take about seventy-four hours.

I packed a suitcase and headed to the bus station, bought my ticket and boarded the bus.  Wednesday arrived while I was on the bus, I looked down at my watch and thought, “well mom is gone now”.

After a stop in Toronto, Ontario to catch a night of proper sleep, I again boarded a bus for the final hours of my trip.  I arrived and spent a couple of days with family to get caught up on the situation. 

Then was taken to London to see my mother.  No one had prepared for what I was about to see.  She was in an induced comma, lying in the hospital bed with that thin silver blanket over her.  I looked at her and could not believe how she looked.  She was three times her normal size.  What brought her this place was a severe flu which she couldn’t handle because of her body was weakened earlier that year with a stroke.

I had to leave the room for everything started to get bright and I felt flushed.  As I walked out into the hallway I felt a sudden push against my knees causing me to sit down.  It was a nurse who saw me and told me she knew I was about to faint.  Hero number one!

January came and went and soon the calendar turned to February.  About a week and a half into the month a doctor caught me and said he needed to talk to me and the family.  I found a phone booth to call to relay the message that if they wanted to see her alive one more time they needed to come quickly.

Eventually my brother and one uncle, mom’s brother, showed up.  We were shown into a conference room, we take our seats and the doctor begins to explain her condition. Hero number two.  He said that her lungs looked like the bubble wrap that is used to wrap dishes.  They were pressing against her heart.  They tried to move her for x-rays but each time she would go into cardiac arrest.  Finally, he tells us there is no more they can do, we decided to have her taken off all support the next morning.

Now for all the rest of the heroes in this moment.  They moved her to a small bed, all tubes and wires disconnected.  Exactly at ten in the morning they turned off the rest of the supports.  She passed away quietly, never waking up.

There were several nurses along with the doctor there with us.  As I turned to leave I caught all of the nurses tears flowing down their faces and saying my mother’s name telling her good bye.

If by chance you are a nurse reading this, this one man gives you a big salute for your dedication and tirelessly working to make all lives under your care feel less frightened!


Giving A Different Perception


The greatest tragedy for any human being is going through their entire lives believing the only perspective that matters is their own. – Doug Baldwin Perspective

The old idiom says, “…till you walk a mile in my shoes”.  Maybe that sounds quaint but it really says a lot.

I have learned that criticizing someone is so easy.  Words gush out of the mouth before the brain is engaged.  I try very hard to put myself in other’s situation.  I ask myself what would I do if I faced the same thing.

Sometimes I find myself looking back towards the human history.  It is the same thing for me facing this critical time in the world.

Growing up I had a perception of polio.  Why, I had an aunt who contracted polio which caused her to limp.

In high school history the Spanish Flu of 1917-18 how it killed millions.  History tells us that people were totally afraid of coming down with it. So afraid they boarded up their windows, locked themselves in their homes.  Some reports in Britain says on some streets every home on it had experienced of someone dying from the flu.

I think I understand those who are in the millennial era their fear.  Recent history the world has faced SARS, MERS, H1N1, and the most feared one was the outbreak of the Ebola virus.

I look back at my own history where I have faced being a  quadriplegic after a motor bike accident, several hospitalization with pneumonia, and one case of Sepsis (infection enters the blood stream).  The latter caused me from what I was told like someone with dementia.

I am not sure who said this, “be thankful there probably someone else is in a worse situation”.  I truly believe that.

So, I would encourage you dear reader to try to look at this crisis with a different perception!