10 Ways to Support Someone Who Has Bipolar For the people who support us, there are ways to reduce stress, improve relationships, and make for a better overall quality of life for everyone. By Stephen Propst For those of us who have bipolar disorder, we are kidding ourselves if we think we can go it […]
“One of these days Alice—pow! Straight to the Moon!” – Jackie Gleason a.k.a – Ralph Cramden on tv show “The Honeymooners”
I was seven years old when I watched with excitement the Apollo Flight that went to the moon. My mother made sure it was on the right channel. I was totally amazed of what I saw. That was June 1969.
Now May 30, 2020 I saw again history in the making. It was the first time a private company sent two men to the international space centre. More amazing was the booster rocket. It carried the module holding the two men into orbit then returned and landed vertically on the exact landing pad. Now the space program can reuse the rocket boosters.
I have always been interested in the space program. I can tell you where I was when the space shuttle Challenger exploded killing everyone on board. I remember how I felt when I heard that marvellous speech that President Ronald Reagan gave after that disaster. I still get goosebumps when I hear that line of the speech.
The crew of the space shuttle Challenger honored us by the manner in which they lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and “slipped the surly bonds of earth” to “touch the face of God. – President Ronald Reagan, January 28, 1986
So dear reader when I saw today’s launch to the space centre I thought of the character Ralph Cramden, the bus driver, on the tv show The Honeymooners, “One of these days Alice, pow straight to the moon”! Ralph Cramden would have been thrilled at today’s history making event!
These are a couple of good news concerning this blog.
They have happened because of everyone who is a follow or a visitor!
Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future. Swami Sivananda
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/past-mistakes-quotes
Every once in awhile I find myself wondering how different my life would been like if I hadn’t made some of the mistakes throughout life. Some mistakes I guess is just part of growing up, curiosity, exploration, yet why did I not ask for advice from my parents, teachers, or a friend.
I doubt very much that not many people find their grade eight teacher knocking at their door. Well for me this was true. We were just starting to supper when the knock came. He wanted to talk with my mother, meanwhile I am trying to think if I did something stupid that day in school. He gave some suggestions for my mother to help me after graduating high school. He wanted my mother to encourage me to pursue becoming a lawyer because he believed I was intelligent enough. Well, I never followed that path!
Then there is the day I made the decision to hop on the back of a motorcycle. We both worked at the same factory, both had doctors appointments the same day, both lived in the same small town. Well, it was a beautiful summer day, no clouds, just a nice breeze. We were travelling on Highway 401 in Ontario just outside the city of London. I do not know where the driver’s thought were, but obliviously it wasn’t on the road ahead of him. He ran into the back of a car, the jolt sent me flying landing on my buttocks. The results were, after x-rays in the emergency department , I had ripped everything away from my spine. I have not ridden on a motorbike since then. So, every time my back is feeling unbearable pain, I kick myself for riding on that bike.
I probably could go on and on thinking about my life step by step. The only thing that would come of it is a major pity trip. A pity party on the way to depression valley.
So dear reader, make yourself a note, when you are in your senior years take some advice from this soon-to- be senior. Do not allow yourself to wonder, wonder, wonder!
“Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.”
– Anne Sweeney, an American businesswoman, co-chair of Disney Media, and President of Disney Channel from 1996-2014.
When I traveled with the evangelist sometimes if I knew there was a better organist I would step aside and let them play. One day another musician came to me and said, “never take a back seat at the organ, you are just as good as the others”. I didn’t feel like I was a success, I was measuring my success against those of others. I never stepped aside ever again to another musician.
I have most of my life compared myself against others. I always felt like I just didn’t measure up. I was at a Preacher’s convention, it was a morning service and there was no musician. They asked if there was a piano player available. I raised my hand but I was ignored. The host told me I didn’t look good enough. I didn’t have a suit back then because my parents could not afford me the luxury. Those words from that host stuck with me for quite some time.
“Being a successful person is not necessarily defined by what you have achieved, but by what you have overcome.”- Fannie Flagg
Several years ago after being in treatment I finally came to the realization that I was killing myself trying to be the most popular guy in the room. News flash, I quit the popularity race!
So dear reader, success is in the eye of the beholder!
You may not control all of the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
If you listen to any news broadcast you will eventually sense that people’s lives are in chaos. Others are upset thinking there “freedom rights” are being taken from them. Protesting about the stay – at – home orders, in some capital cities showing up with firearms. Everyone feels they have no control in their lives, which at this time, at this place it would sure feel like it.
When I was younger I was a total perfectionist, I wanted everything in order. I would tell people that “I hate surprises”. They would happen and I would feel threatened, I would be in a total panic.
Maybe if I would have learned that nothing stays the same, that everything will eventually come around. It is probably building up in me over many years like a time bomb waiting to explode. It culminated and time ran out, resulting in an attempted suicide.
I have learned many lessons since then, for example; I am not living to be in a popularity contest. That was a big weight off my shoulders. So, as I written before, I have become comfortable in my own skin.
Also, my feeble attempts to think I needed millions in the bank to be happy. For awhile I did pretty well in my early twenties through to my early thirties. My problem wasn’t making the money, the problem was I did not know how to handle it properly. I would spend it as fast as I made it. I have finally learned how to manage what basic disability income, the result being I don’t jump every time the phone rings thinking it is a bill collector. Another weight off my shoulder.
Those years to me were so chaotic now that I look back on them. My life is balanced with the medical help in controlling my bi-polar symptoms. I now just let life come what may, I can actually go to sleep in a induced calmness, a sleeping pill has that effect.
I do wonder how others are truly coping with all the chaos that seems to be happening at this present moment. My heart breaks many times when I hear the stories of some from around the world. Chaos rings out very sharply!
So dear reader, you may not believe this for it may it seem like it will never end, but there will come a brighter morning. You will come through this and you just might amaze yourself on how well you actually did!
An Easy Way To Soothe Stress Hey,listen up. It’s time to relax, chill out, and release those pent-up physical, mental and emotional tensions. When dealing with everyday stress and the probability of stress build-up, NOW is always the right time to be proactive; to beat stress before it beats you. Think of stress as a…
“Never underestimate the empowering effect of human connection.
All you need is that one person, who understands you completely, believes in you and makes you feel loved for what you are, to enable you – to unfold the miraculous YOU.”
I truly cannot tell you how I miss the human connection. It seems there is never a good time to sit and have a conversation. Even with my close family everyone is oh so busy. My daughter works, in a normal world there would be extra circular activities like, dance for the girls, and hockey the grandson.
I haven’t returned to my home area now for twenty years, I miss having some time with my most favorite aunt. She was like a second mother, still is if the truth be known. It’s hard to remember a time where she wasn’t part of my life.
Maybe this being totally shut in has made me realize how much we need to have some human to human connection. Using software to have video face to face is nice, but it is no replacement for the actual person to person fellowship.
I need somehow to find more interaction with others, even with my neighbors. I haven’t seen some of them since at least February. My one neighbor I think the world of he and his wife they are such a great couple. They are seniors and always have a smile, a kind word, and once in awhile a joke to make me laugh.
This is the third post this week where I have written about connecting with others. When I connect with people I try to share their concerns, their joys, and yes, their sorrows. We can empathize and sympathize with others deeply. We can also love deeply, laugh heartily, and even cry on one another’s shoulders. That is what makes us as humans different from all other living things on earth.
So dear reader, I wonder what do you miss the most about being able to have some actual human connection?
You can’t allow other people to put a price on what you do, otherwise you don’t consider what you do to have any value at all, and that’s nonsense. Robert Smith
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/nonsense-quotes_3
There are times when I felt like garbage, life had no meaning. Sometimes I would meet people and by the time we say goodbye I would be feeling worse. There are those that seems that there mission in life is to be critical of everyone else.
If I am out and about sometimes I would spot somebody that I knew was just trouble with a capital “T”. I would find a way either to cross the street or slip into a store somewhere just to avoid the person.
Lately I find myself not much into small talk, I love good conversation, anything with substance. However, I do not care for anyone who talks above me, talks at me, I want them to talk with me. I look for a conversation that when I leave the person I could glean something from talking with them.
My Pastor once gave me a great piece of wisdom, “strangers are friends you haven’t met yet”! I have never forgot that, so I use that attitude when I meet someone new. It gives me a great starting place, an attitude of giving them acceptance.
During my school years I suffered greatly with feelings of inadequacies. Other students had a way of making me feel less than human, someone with no worth. I never want to feel like that again.
Learning to play the piano gave me the boost of confidence I greatly needed. When I was asked to travel as an organist it gave me the greatest feeling of some worth in my life. A sense of finally belonging somewhere.
What I know now is that everyone has worth. wanting the feeling of acceptance. They want the feeling like they are on the same level as others.
So dear reader, you are valuable, you do have worth in your life. Take it from me a high school dropout, that took some negatives and turned them into some mighty positives in my life!
“Just because you fail once doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything.”
― Marilyn Monroe
I am sure I could make a safe bet in saying that at one time or another everyone has wanted to just give up.
I have felt that way many times in my life. One time I tried was my overdose of sleeping pills. It was the start of learning about myself. Who I really was, what my worth was, how deal with my emotions in a healthy way, not in anger or frustration.
That ordeal was back in the early nineties. I can proudly say I am not that person before the complete breakdown. I very seldom now get too upset about things. Last winter was case in point with that. I had several plumbing episodes, not much in the bank, no credit card. I phoned the one plumbing company that I knew. After explaining my situation the owner took a chance on me and allowed to make payments on the work that was done. I didn’t disappoint him, now I have a good credit rating with that company. Plumbing and heating problems now can receive attention and I keep my composure. By the way, a plumber in this town makes ninety-nine dollars an hour. My one bill alone was over three hundred dollars.
I have learned over the years to take everything in steps, keep calm, talk or think it through. It is amazing the difference doing it that way instead of trying to solve a problem when I am totally frustrated and my nerves frayed.
So dear reader, my message is clear, I just won’t allow my circumstances dictate how I act or react in any given situation!
Panic Attacks And Anxiety Disorder Many people ask me how I cured my panic attacks and anxiety disorder naturally. I am going on one year now of being completely panic free. I am always willing to share my information freely. My only hope is to reach others in need of help and information on panic…
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard.
I love coffee, for me the coffee maker never quits (actually it does, it is quiet while I sleep).
What I also love is having a good cup of coffee, maybe some cheese cake, and conversation with a friend.
So, I thought what could we talk about if we could share some time over a cup of coffee.
For me here are some things I would love to chat about:
- What is your favorite color?
- Tell me about your family
- Do you have pets? I do, I have a dog named Natalie
- Tell me about your work, is it in an office, or factory, or maybe you have an online business
- Tell me what motivates you
- Tell me what makes your blood boil. For me it is a person who lies to me with a straight face
I could go on and on with things I would love to talk about. I wonder what would you ask me. I truly try to be as open as one could be.
I love talking about my daughter and my three wonderful grandchildren. I have pictures galore in my photo albums, and digital.
Now if we were having coffee and there was a piano in the room I would love to sit and play some Gospel songs that I love. How about you, do you love music? If so, what style and what artist? Now forgive me, if I don’t have a clue about your artist. I do not listen to the radio much, so I am not up to speed about what hits are out there.
So, if we were to sit and have coffee what would you love to chat about with me?
I don’t know anything about inspiration because I don’t know what inspiration is; I’ve heard about it, but I never saw it. (William Faulkner)
Every morning, every day I think about what the subject would be to write a post about. Sometimes I wake up with a thought in mind, the rest of the time I brainstorm my thoughts.
I am looking for the elusive “inspiration”, which for the most part seems to be an exercise of futility.
I am not an author, I will probably never have a book published. Writing was my weak point in English in high school. For exams I would freeze up, my mind would go blank. Oh, I knew the subject, made notes, studied the required reading for the next day, but, I would just draw a blank on the exams.
I read how some here in the WordPress community work on posts for days. Some start writing only to delete it, I am of the latter on that style of writing.
I consider myself a successful if I manage to actually sit down to write a post on my blog. My writing go in spurts, sometimes I find myself able to write for days consecutively. Then it seems like someone turned off the spout to where there is not as much as a trickle.
I know it would be useless to try to copy someone else method to finding inspiration because I must be myself, honest, and with transparency.
Then there are days where my mind is cluttered with useless thoughts, a jumble mess of words that do not seem to have any logical pattern.
However, I do find energy when you as a reader leave your thoughts in the comment section.
So, this is my day of how I look for a reason to write!
All emotions, even those that are suppressed and unexpressed, have physical effects. Unexpressed emotions tend to stay in the body like small ticking time bombs—they are illnesses in incubation.”
The brain is an amazing organ, it controls the rest of the body. Communicates with the nervous system, the five senses, etc.,
The thing I find most fantastic is how certain scents, music, words, can trigger my memory, even some that I have not thought about in years. Some of those thoughts I have pushed to the back of my brain because I just didn’t want to deal with them.
My memory sometimes works overboard, I can remember things that even the ones that were also there cannot recall that incident.
Pent up emotions like anger, resentment can mess with our digestive system. Other emotions like regret can keep me in a state of fixation, can’t move forward, too easy to move backwards. So, just stuck in one place!
There are times when I question certain memories whether they are real or just something I have dreamed, a creation of my imagination.
I find myself drifting between the now and the memories that seem to rise to the top. With some they bring back times when I was happy, the days of singing with my grandfather, the days of singing with my sister as I played the piano. The other memories I would love to find a way to eradicate them totally.
So, unlike Rand Travis “Digging Up Bones” song, I keep digging through my memories like someone on a treasure hunt.
You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.”
Sometimes I find myself thinking of how I was before I saw a psychiatrist and started taking medications to treat me for being bi-polar, it makes shudder.
I truly do not know how I survived throughout that time. I would become enraged at the most insignificant thing. I would scream, cry, threaten to move, and on and on and on. I was a total mess. There were times I would be up all night sitting at my computer just wasting time, then sleep most of the next day.
I was someone who really was overwhelmed with all types of anxieties. Never knew when I would have a panic attack, did not know anything about what is called “triggers”.
Everything came to a full blown explosion. After my grandmother died in 2004 I lost myself overtaken by grief. It just wasn’t her death, but it was on top of losing my mother four years later. I started plotting how I would take my life. I started giving all my food to my best friend. There was nothing logical about the things I was doing, and to be honest I truly didn’t really care. After a couple of hours my best friend finally realized what I was planning. All that I know was a short time later I was being escorted into a police car, on my way to the hospital to be admitted to the Mental Health Ward in the local hospital.
I was like someone who jumped into the wrong end of the pool and finding out you are in over your head. Now from what I understand is never start flailing your arms around like crazy. This burns up your energy, the best thing you can do until help arrives is, just tread water.
I really do not have much permanent memories of my first admittance for treatment. I do remember how I felt. I was going through the motions, but I was totally disconnected from everything happening around me.
So, now when I start feeling overwhelmed, just stop flailing my arms wasting my energy. I just need to just tread water until help arrives!
No matter who we are, no matter what our circumstances, our feelings and emotions are universal.
In the recent past I have thought “wouldn’t it be nice to turn off my feelings”. The reason I say that is for this reason, sometimes I find myself getting so upset over some things people say in the news. My best friend constantly tells me “don’t let it bother you”.
Being stripped of feelings would basically reduce myself to the level of a computerized robot. I certainly wouldn’t enjoy life it that were the case.
My feelings lets me understand the feelings of others, when someone says they were crying I can relate to that because I have cried. Feelings gives me a level beyond just my brain and body.
Maybe, in some areas I may be overly sensitive towards certain things, for me I consider that is the factor that makes my life unique. Like wanting to adopt every stray dog in the world. Or when I see a baby, brings back the memories of holding my own daughter the day she was born.
The down side of my feelings is that sometimes I allow negative feelings overtake me to go over the edge into depression. I need to work more aggressively on that section of my feelings. Need to learn how to quickly replace the negatives with positives.
So, my objective each day is to do my level best not to allow the negatives overwhelm me!
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new.
For many years I wouldn’t ask for help from anybody. I thought if I did I would appear weak. To be completely honest it was just my stupid pride that kept me from asking.
I have over the past ten years or so I have learned that asking for help is what I need sometimes. I am no longer embarrassed to ask someone to help me. I found out people want to help. Many times they could see I needed it, but they were not sure if they should offer the help.
Eventually everyone sometimes in their life they are going to need help. It may be physical, financial (that one can be iffy), and last but not least, mental health help. There is absolutely no shame in asking.
I would like to share the lyrics of a Beatles song, “Help” for I feel it says what I am thinking about the subject.
I need somebody
(Help!) not just anybody
(Help!) you know I need someone
Help!I never needed anybody’s help in any way
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured (but now these days are gone)
(And now I find) Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doorsHelp me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me?And now my life has changed in oh so many ways (and now my life has changed)
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure (I know that I)
I know that I just need you like I’ve never done beforeHelp me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round
Help me get my feet back on the…
“I started feeling afraid of my own body, like it was a torture chamber I’d been trapped inside.”
I have had severe problems with my back since I was in my teens. It would come and go, so I didn’t really feel to curb my activities.
Then in 1987 I was a passenger on a motor bike. The driver on an August day ran into the back of a car. The impact sent me hurling through the air to land on my butt. The results were I tore all the ligaments away from my spine.
So, with that I have had prescribed at one time or another some strong painkillers, such as, morphine, Oxycontin, and fentanyl patch.
Now mix in being bi-polar, this was before diagnosis, and I was a total sorry person. There were nights where I didn’t sleep at all, days where I was totally buzzed on painkillers, so bad, that I couldn’t remember what I ate the night before. Conversations took place where I didn’t remember them either.
Eventually I land in the Mental Health Ward for severe depression. I learned on that visit that I was bi-polar. That was step one.
It became a red alert with the painkillers. I spoke with my family doctor and my Psychiatrist about coming off all the narcotics. They told me I could do it from home or go through it while admitted. I chose the latter. That was step two.
I am in constant pain, this is something I have seldom wrote about on this blog. I feel it could be helpful maybe for someone who is experiencing chronic pain.
So, I am not sure what to call it when you mix pain and depression. Whatever the term would be, I just try to survive one day at a time!
“If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden.” – Claudia Ghandi
For this Mother’s Day I am dedicating this post to three wonderful women.
- My Mother – 1942 – 2000
- Grandmother – ? – 2004
- Last but not least, my daughter, 1985 –
For my mother and grandmother, I miss you every day. I miss calling you when I needed advice, recipes, and your wonderful nurturing love.
Mom, you were called home way too soon. Please be standing near the gate and be one of the first ones that I meet.
Granny, I miss being able to go to your house where I always felt that I mattered. Always knew there would be no questions asked. Just how you welcomed all that crossed your door place!
Dear daughter I stand amazed about how you have grown into a wonderful woman, mother. I cannot say how much I admire you raising three of some of the greatest children on earth. Of course, I am probably a bit bias, I am just a proud grandfather!
I hope everyone whose Mother is living that you tell her how much you care for her. How thankful you are for all the things she has done for you through the years.
My late grandmother told her children to give her her roses while she was alive. So that she could enjoy them.
Please, let me offer some advice, give your mother her roses while she can enjoy them. Do not take it for granted that she will always be there. You never know just when God will call her home to take her place among the angelic choir. Remember, she is the only mother you will ever have in this life. The one that carried you in her womb for at least nine months. Nurtured you from an infant all the way to the day you left for college to start your grand adventure called “life”.
So, I raise my virtual glass and give a toast to every mother who is, who was, on this big blue marble we call home, the earth!
Happy Mother’s Day!
I have been having what I call “brain aches”. It feels like some wires are not connected properly. I can be listening to something but if you asked me what was said I would tell you I haven’t a clue.
My usual excuse would be blame it on the medications. But I wake up and still feel like this. I have to think what tv programs did I listen to the night before, I just cannot remember.
I find myself frustrated, cranky, and all that goes with those two things. I truly cannot put my finger on the issue, yet I know somewhere deep there must be one.
If I feel this way, what does the person who has not been able to work at his/her job feel like. They have to put food on the table, keep a roof above their heads. Their level frustration must be at eleven!
Then their are all those who are grieving but cannot give their loved one a proper home going. How must they feel? I can imagine the utter hopelessness they must be experiencing through everything. It truly breaks this heart of mine.
So, this fifty-eight year old former pastor prays that there will be a relief in the near future soon!
My strength did not come from lifting weights. My strength came from lifting myself up when I was knocked down.”– Bob Moore
The last several days have been tough. It has been hard just to find the effort to get out of bed. It would have been oh so easy just to stay there.
The clock seemed like it was going slower than usual, the hours felt like they would never change. Days melted from one into the other.
I give myself mental encouragement chats, sometimes they seem to work, other times they just don’t.
I keep reminding myself I have been through down times before, yet, I somehow found the strength to go through them. Always keeping in mind some of the lessons that I learned doing so.
Today I decided just to sit at my laptop and summoned all that is within me to write this post. Finding the courage to keep my thoughts in some logical order, not the chaotic ones I have been having lately.
So, I remind myself today the words of Rev. Robert Schuller, “Tough times never last, tough people do”!
When I was in treatment in a morning group the facilitator would have us participate in what is called “Guided Relaxation”
Basically it is a person taking you through some steps to help you to relax. It is usually with light background music.
I found it quite effective, sometimes some would nod off which wasn’t frowned on.
With a simple Google search thousands of sites were given. I cannot recommend anything because I do not remember any of the ones used while in treatment.
I found some on Amazon with the average price around $20.00.
So, I just thought that maybe if you are looking for some way to relax Guided Relaxation (Meditation), go ahead do some research and maybe give it a try.
When you are dealing with an invisible enemy,
use most resources as shield, and a bit as a bait.” ―
It knows no boundaries.
It is equal opportunity. It’s victims come from all classes, races, gender, and age.
It is always there in the shadows waiting to attack another victim. It moves without sound, not slowed down by walls or windows.
It works hand – in – hand with the grim reaper. He has claimed hundreds of thousands, overwhelming all under-takers.
It also attacks people’s mental health, stress levels have shot up one hundred, fifty times.
It has moved into countries and plans on being a boarder for several years.
Yes, this invisible enemy has been quite busy for several months. Who is this invisible enemy, none other than Covid-19 virus.