Pain + Depression = ?

silhouette-back-pain-man-ache-

“I started feeling afraid of my own body, like it was a torture chamber I’d been trapped inside.”
― Talia HibbertGet a Life, Chloe Brown

I have had severe problems with my back since I was in my teens.  It would come and go, so I didn’t really feel to curb my activities.

Then in 1987 I was a passenger on a motor bike.  The driver on an August day ran into the back of a car.  The impact sent me hurling through the air to land on my butt.  The results were I tore all the ligaments away from my spine.

So, with that I have had prescribed at one time or another some strong painkillers, such as, morphine, Oxycontin, and fentanyl patch.  

Now mix in being bi-polar, this was before diagnosis, and I was a total sorry person.  There were nights where I didn’t sleep at all, days where I was totally buzzed on painkillers, so bad, that I couldn’t remember what I ate the night before.  Conversations took place where I didn’t remember them either.

Eventually I land in the Mental Health Ward for severe depression. I learned on that visit that I was bi-polar. That was step one.

It became a red alert with the painkillers.  I spoke with my family doctor and my Psychiatrist about coming off all the narcotics.  They told me I could do it from home or go through it while admitted.  I chose the latter.  That was step two.

I am in constant pain, this is something I have seldom wrote about on this blog.  I feel it could be helpful maybe for someone who is experiencing chronic pain.

So, I am not sure what to call it when you mix pain and depression.  Whatever the term would be, I just try to survive one day at a time!

2 thoughts on “Pain + Depression = ?

  1. I suffer as well from chronic pain, most days I can hardly walk by evening. This makes it extremely hard at work since I put in anywhere from 8000-12000 steps a day there. I don’t take anything because I’m afraid to become dependent on something. I rarely take tylenol except on those days that I just can not make it another hour, but honestly, I can’t tell if it actually helps at all.
    I find that the more pain there is, the deeper the depression, the deeper the depression, the more pain.
    Take care of yourself!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.