“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”
I have a relative that must take baths in hate. A grievance collector that never forgets who did what, who said what. Revenge is something that this person give constant thought of how to go about it.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
It is my understanding that the person suffers from other ailments, digestion being the major one.
I have another relative that was having stomach troubles, had to get a prescription to stop the pain after eating. The relative went to see a specialist, the first thing he asked, “what is eating you”? Notice he did not want to know what they were eating. It was true that the person was harboring ill feelings towards someone who had wronged them.
I learned a long time ago that it does nothing to hold extreme hatred or anger over what someone has done to them. When I have been wronged I just move on. Now do not misunderstand, I do get angry sometimes, but I do not give it free space within my mind.
“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”
My father and I were never close, I really do not have any fond memories about him with me. He had anger issues and when triggered it could get physical, usually I ended up being the punching bag.
In around 1980 I had just started travelling with the evangelist, we were in a Christian TV studio holding a crusade in Detroit, Michigan. One afternoon my father showed up to a meeting.
After the meeting he asked if we could go for coffee. I agreed hoping that maybe something new would happen between us. We ended up in a mall walking around and talking. I spotted a Music store that had pianos, organs, etc.,. I told my father, “Watch this“. I walked over to a digital piano that was on display outside of the store door. I turned it on and started to play it. A crowd started to gather, so with glee I continued for awhile. The store didn’t mind me doing so. I guess they figured that maybe they would end up with some sales. We then walked away and my dad asked me, “when did you learn to play like that”? I just smiled on the inside even though I wanted to give a snide remark.
I have not seen my dad since the late eighties for my own mental health stability. I do not wish him any harm, nor do I hold any ill feelings towards him.
My way of working through anger may not fit you, the reader. It is a personal thing that each individual has to wrestle with it in their own way.
So dear reader I hope that maybe something I wrote on this post will give you some ideas on how to manage anger!