You have probably seen what are called ‘reversible figures’. For example, a picture of a vase that when looked at slightly differently becomes two faces. This involves a fast rearrangement of how your brain makes sense of an object. First you see the vase as the foreground and then as the background. The faces become […]
“My third piece of advice is to cultivate a sense of empathy – to put yourself in other people’s shoes – to see the world from their eyes. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.”
For this post I want to flip the idiom “walk a mile in my shoes” to “walk a mile in your shoes”.
I would like to ask you a question, what would I learn if I were to lace up in your shoes?
- learn that you dread getting out of bed in the morning
- that even with taking meds your depression is still hanging there
- maybe how you think that nobody truly understands what you are struggling with
- or that sometimes you fantasize about killing yourself
- those troublesome times when you just cannot concentrate on one thing for any length of time
- how you have panic attacks just thinking about leaving your home
- that between paying for your meds and therapy you have a hard time managing your other obligations
There are probably a myriad of other things I could learn if I were to walk for some time in your shoes. I just mentioned the ones that came to my mind at the time of writing this post.
So dear reader, if I could walk a mile in those shoes of yours would I have a better sense of what your life is truly like?
Depression is an intense feeling of sadness that lasts for a long time, sometimes weeks, months or years. If you are depressed, it can start to interfere with your day-to-day life, well being and physical health. Men may not recognize they have depression. If they do acknowledge it to themselves, they are often reluctant to talk […]
“Teaching a boy to be a man is the primary job of a father.”―
With all the racial tension happening around the world I find the most shocking is when a black parent talks about having “the talk” with their son. The talk from what I garner is about how to act if pulled over by the police. I find it heart breaking that a parent must make a point of it for the fear their son may not make it home at night otherwise.
It has made me think about my relationship with my own father. In his own finite way he tried to teach me some things. It usually ended up with him becoming angry and calling me names. Eventually I would just stay clear of him, in high school I would make sure he had already left in the morning, I would not come home until I knew he would be in bed.
There are many things I wish my father would have had a conversation with me about.
*For the ladies this post might seem it is not relevant to you. I feel that it is, it can be something you can speak to your partner about if and when you have a son*
- Mothers teach their daughters about feminine hygiene when they enter puberty. I wish my father would have explained to me about the changes in my body entering puberty. Hygiene is one of those, the other is the effect of what testosterone does to the male body and the emotions.
- That the words “sex” and “love” are not interchangeable. That sex is a bi-product of love between a couple.
- In marriage what to expect during the honeymoon, then how to keep the love alive afterwards.
- That a woman after the birth of child is really not in the mood to take care of you acting like a spoiled child.
- The basics of shaving when a beard starts to appear. I learned how to shave by trial and error.
So dear reader those are some things I wish my father would have told me about.
I hope you will take some time and read this great life story!
Transitioning in the midst of a decade long photography project, presents an opportunity to see how differently people relate to me as a man vs. a woman. Enjoying a day off, I decided to swing by the Weirdest little Church in Texas, check out their volunteer program and hopefully capture a few shots on camera. […]
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ Eleanor Roosevelt
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/eleanor-roosevelt-quotes
If you would have met me and followed me around you would have saw a guy with a low opinion of himself. I didn’t excel in sports, science, history, really not much at all. Do not misunderstand me I always had good marks. Never much in any trouble, except in grade ten they gave me a lunch period that started at ten o’clock in the morning. My solution was simple I would skip the class where lunch should have been.
For the life of me I can only recall once where one of my parents showed up in anything that concerned school. My mother attended my grade eight graduation, that’s it. My father was absent in any event I was in. Come to think of it he was absent in anything that I was interested in. His idea was that I should go to a trade school to become an oil jockey in some dead end job. He wasn’t not pleased when I chose an all academic school where I took all business related courses.
Self-esteem was hard to come by around my family, both in my immediate family and my extended family. I felt great around my maternal grandfather when we would practice a song to sing at church. My mother was there for me, but her attention was also to my four siblings.
So often I hear parents belittling, shaming their children that I get so infuriated by. Those remarks will only cause deep wounds, scars that will last their entire life. Get behind your children be their best cheerleader they have. It will bring a harvest of great accomplishments.
Dear reader it is also my feeling about my blog, the comments I make on other’s posts, it is better to be a builder. So let’s instill this, self-esteem!
So a week has passed and it is blog day. I updated the mindful commandments and a modified excerpt from my journal is here: Core feelings So, later I will see that realisations, I call ‘antidotes’ can treat my core feelings, if I acknowledge them for the first time, every time so that mental blockage […]
“Mental health needs a great deal of attention. It’s the final taboo and it needs to be faced and dealt with.” – Adam Ant
Every day has a job for me to do, it requires my attention every moment, it is there just behind the shadows. The maintenance of my mental health. It sure would be easy to neglect it, start sliding backwards, and once again finding myself staring at the abyss,
When I was much younger I was driven by perfection. I had a habit after I would have my coffee in the morning I would vacuum the carpet in the living room. I tried to keep everything in it’s place. Took extra time making sure that my hair was perfect, it was an exercise of using the blow dryer, brush, then extra strong hair spray.
I find that I am not driven by that part of me that wants perfection. I like my home clean, but with a dog that has lots of hair it is an endless battle. Also, I do not fret if things seem somewhat untidy. Those things are the least of my worries.
My morning routine though is basically the same. I put the coffee maker on, fill the glass on my side table with water, then proceed to take my morning medications in a certain order. My daily routine is flexible, but one thing that is etched in stone is my medications.
Before turning out the lights I try to find programs with some harmless humor, shows like “Hogan’s Heroes”, “The Carol Burnett Show”, and if I can stay awake an episode of “Perry Mason”. The reason for the humor I feel it acts like a detox of all the depressing things during the day.
I had read about a man, Cousins, who laughed himself back to healthy. He locked himself in a hotel room, had all Marx Brothers Films, and other comedies, watched them and laughed himself whole.
Mental Health maintenance truly is a full time job, there is no resting on one’s laurels. You have to be vigilant, always on your guard, avoid some of those who bring nothing but negative drama. I choose who I allow to have my attention. I have weeded out those in my family, friends, acquaintances, all who were detrimental to my mental health.
So dear reader, for your own good, your mental health, do the work!
“In order to become a reflective, autonomous and self-mentoring individual, one has to continuously learn from people, experiences and new ideas.”
Over the past while I have been finding it difficult in presenting fresh thoughts. I have sat many times to write and found myself starting to repeat a thought that I have already written about.
I am sure my well of thoughts has not gone dry, I just need to find a new way to prime the pump.
I have always thought if I want you, the reader, to keep coming back to read a new post that I have written, it needs to be fresh and also relevant.
I have had many ideas for subjects, I use Google, news headlines, searched tags, searched posts, only to wind up with zilch.
I try not to ever write about something that I have no knowledge of the subject, example; women and depression.
So dear reader, if you have any thoughts or ideas for subjects please leave me a note in the comments section below.
I spent a good portion of my life struggling on my own. I knew something was “different” about me but I never had the support around me to help me get answers. I walked around aimlessly and lived off of Google’s suggestions and explanations about how I was feeling for the most part. As an…
Feeling stressed is a reality for most of us at the moment. We are still in the midst of a global pandemic, with second waves of the virus trying to emerge across Australia. I wanted to blog specifically about stress and men’s health because it’s not often focused on. Stress can impact specific aspects of […]
My hospital stay wasn’t all negative, yet there is more to tell, there was some great positive things that happened.
- Covid-19 test came back negative
- Tests for any MRSA (superbug) also negative
- On a truly lighter side, I am just as smart as Donald J. Trump.[maybe I am smarter. I like to read and also believe the science]. Aced the same cognitive test. It is a test to know if there is dementia, Alzheimer’s disease. Also to see if maybe any damage after a stroke.
- My former Psychiatrist stopped in and had a great visit with her. It was sort surreal, visiting with her as just a patient who was not under her care. When she went to leave I made a comment, “Dr. just considered me a student who graduated”. She loved to hear all the positive things that have happened since I left her.
So dear reader I just thought today would be a good day to share something uplifting for you to enjoy!
This city’s hospital is about four years old. Before that I was chosen to attend a one week long workshop. It was to develop what the new hospital’s features will include. I was the advocate for the Mental Health Ward. It was long hours but everyone was excited in working during this major event.
Looking under the hood is basically speaking to buying a car. I want to use it to describe what I discovered being admitted to the new hospital. It looks impressive, feels good also, but it is what the inner workings that count.
When they finally brought me up to the hospital room I thought, “wow”, very nice. I was there close to lights out and to get some much needed sleep. The next morning I began to look under the hood of this new hospital that was one hundred million dollar plus in cost.
First, I try out the much touted “Free Television”, what I found was basically an over loaded Windows Surface Tablet. The free television consisted of about six or seven channels in an app. I then moved on the the wifi accessibility. What a joke, very limited, browser that was out of date. The Gmail App did not work, the Google App was also very limited in the access to most sites. The USB keyboard was non functional, the on board keyboard difficult to maneuver.
The rest room was large and looked like something out of first class airplane. Nice sink, normal toilet. It did have a shower but on closer inspection it also could not be used. The designer had the bathroom on an elevated floor. Therefore using the shower would mean flooding the patient’s room.
So dear reader the adage of “if it is too good to be true it probably is”. Always take time to look under the hood.
I was in the hospital for a good part of the week.
One night I rang the call button, around 10 p.m., to ask if my night meds be given soon.
The nurse came in, invaded my personal space without permission by placing her hand on the top of my story. She then began a tirade about she had a number of patients, and on and on she went. When she left she left me shaking fearing for my safety.
I took the advice on a blog I follow about bullying and put it into action.
1. I out cried to another nurse immediately.
2. Then the charge nurse came in.
3. I then again shared with the charge nurse what had happened.
4. She then revealed that there had been issues with this so called nurse before.
5. The charge nurse then told me her plan concerning my issue.
6. The charge nurse said that the nurse with the issue would not be coming back to my room.
7. The charge nurse would then confront the nurse about my concerns.
In the past I probably would not have done anything. I really did not have the tools, the knowledge on how to claim my space again.
Note, not once did I lower myself to that nurse’s level. I did not demean her to her superior, I did not say I would retaliate.
When all was said and done I felt so much better, my esteem was left intact, maybe, even a bit stronger.
Cherie, of Chateau Cherie your blog and your teaching about bullies, the way to treat them. Those posts really do help, at least for me because I put what I learned to work for me.
It is Thursday evening just pass 7:00 p.m. mountain time. I arrived home tonight and trying to catch up on all the emails, etc., I was admitted Monday with “stroke like” symptoms.
I could not do much online, I could not access the hospital’s WiFi. So, they had a glorified Windows tablet with very, very limited internet service.
I think I was tested, scanned, swabbed, for everything they could think what my problem was. For those things I will be writing in greater detail in the next several days.
So dear reader, it feels good to be back in my own surroundings, able to have access to the internet. Stay tuned!
I am writing this from a hospital bed.
I woke with extreme feelings, tingling, numbness. So 911 call was placed my best friend dial it .
Symptons much like a stroke.
I’ve had many tests, CT scan and many others.Been here now the full. Waiting now for MRI.
I will write more tomorrow from my own laptop!
So dear reader I am asking for your prayers tonight!
“Don’t buy into the lie that to struggle with mental health means you are any less of a person or a man.”
This is the continuation of Men And Depression. As a male suffering with being bi-polar it is important that we need men to step forward to share their story of deal with the struggles of their own personal battle in Mental Health.
Once again I am using the source The National Institute of Mental Health.
What are the signs and symptoms of depression in men?
Different men have different symptoms, but some common depression symptoms include:
- Anger, irritability, or aggressiveness
- Feeling anxious, restless, or “on the edge”
- Loss of interest in work, family, or once-pleasurable activities
- Problems with sexual desire and performance
- Feeling sad, “empty,” flat, or hopeless
- Not being able to concentrate or remember details
- Feeling very tired, not being able to sleep, or sleeping too much
- Overeating or not wanting to eat at all
- Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts
- Physical aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems
- Inability to meet the responsibilities of work, caring for family, or other important activities
- Engaging in high-risk activities
- A need for alcohol or drugs
- Withdrawing from family and friends or becoming isolated
Not every man who is depressed experiences every symptom. Some men experience only a few symptoms while others may experience many.
So dear reader the first thing I did to start the managing of Depression was admitting something was wrong, If you experiencing symptons o
I read this blog of how one person went through a horrific ordeal in coping with depression.
I do not usually comment on the importance of a re-blog, as you read this post you may, like me, feel the pain this blogger experienced!
Hello, readers and bloggers. I don’t really know how to say this. I don’t like talking about this, but I also don’t want to keep it a secret because I have shared so much in the past within the book community. I’ve talked about it on Instagram, Twitter and my past life on booktube. A […]
via Life Update… —
I thought for this post a brief alert. I have suffered with blood clots in the past and it is for that reason I take Warfarin. It requires frequent blood tests, preferably monthly.
The blood test is called I.N.R, it tests for the clotting factor within the blood. Yesterday I had blood work done. The results were expected due to the fact I have been on some new prescriptions. It was a very high number, normal rate they like to see is around 2.5. Mine was 4+, so adjustments had to be made to my daily regiment of Warfarin.
I am writing this post to bring attention to those who take prescriptions, who need blood tests. If your blood work is coming back with strange results maybe you should speak with your physician so that he can adjust your regiment of medications.
When I was first put on Warfarin over ten years ago I did not understand the correlation between Warfarin and the I.N.R. For more information about I.N.R you can find it here: Health Direct
A short description is this: An INR test measures the time for your blood to clot. It is also known as prothrombin time, or PT. It is used to monitor blood-thinning medicines, which are also known as anticoagulants. The INR, or international normalised ratio, can also be used to check if you have a blood clotting problem.
So dear reader from my experience prescription medicines can affect blood tests. Do not be alarmed, speak to your physician and your pharmacist!
I am using information from National Institute Of Mental Health
There will be several posts that I will post with the source mentioned above.
Men and women both experience depression but their symptoms can be very different. Because men who are depressed may appear to be angry or aggressive instead of sad, their families, friends, and even their doctors may not always recognize the anger or aggression as depression symptoms. In addition, men are less likely than women to recognize, talk about, and seek treatment for depression. Yet depression affects a large number of men.
What is depression?
Everyone feels sad or irritable and has trouble sleeping once in a while. But these feelings and troubles usually pass after a couple of days. Depression is a common but serious mood disorder that may cause severe symptoms. Depression affects the ability to feel, think, and handle daily activities. Also known as major depressive disorder or clinical depression, a man must have symptoms for at least two weeks to be diagnosed with depression.
Both men and women get depression but their willingness to talk about their feelings may be very different. This is one of the reasons that depression symptoms for men and women may be very different as well.
For example, some men with depression hide their emotions and may seem to be angry, irritable, or aggressive while many women seem sad or express sadness. Men with depression may feel very tired and lose interest in work, family, or hobbies. They may be more likely to have difficulty sleeping than women who have depression. Sometimes mental health symptoms appear to be physical issues. For example, a racing heart, tightening chest, ongoing headaches, or digestive issues can be signs of a mental health problem. Many men are more likely to see their doctor about physical symptoms than emotional symptoms.
Some men may turn to drugs or alcohol to try to cope with their emotional symptoms. Also, while women with depression are more likely to attempt suicide, men are more likely to die by suicide because they tend to use more lethal methods.
Depression can affect any man at any age. With the right treatment, most men with depression can get better and gain back their interest in work, family, and hobbies.
“My daily routine was shot. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I got up because the dog had to be walked and my wife needed to go to work. The day would go by and I didn’t know where it went. I wanted to get back to normal. I just wanted to be myself again.”
“The currency of blogging is authenticity and trust.”
I am not a leading authority when it comes to blogging for a keep learning new traits with it. Yet I find that many things about it are always gaining dividends. Here are a few:
- Interaction – You cannot go wrong when it comes to interacting with other bloggers. It does not hurt to even interact with bloggers who you do not follow.
- Tags- The tags you use when writing your blog post is effective. This blogger has learned something new about tags. I learned about that you can follow tags. It is found on the left side of the reader. Type any tag that you may be interested in. A list of blog sites will appear in your reader. I found this is a great way to find other blogs for myself to read. Recently I read a blog post and clicked on “Like”. That simple act saw a dividend of a new follow for my blog.
- Rhythm of Writing – I have noticed that every blogger has a rhythm of writing in their blog posts. If you read many blogs you will find that each blogger has a rhythm. You can recognize this if you read enough of a blogger’s post.
- Categories – I have come to realize that the less categories you use the better. Over doing it within the categories can cause confusion with those who a reading a post or doing a subject, tag, etc., search.
So dear reader these little actions on writing a post still pays dividends!
Drug addiction impacts tens of thousands of people every year. The malady can have numerous significant, potentially life-impacting consequences that not only affect the addict but their circle of friends and family, as well as society in general. In fact, drug addiction can also influence: Health Care Costs Addiction to any type of substance may […]
“I didn’t want normal until I didn’t have it anymore”
Normal – definition,
adjectiveconforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural;serving to establish a standard.
- approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
- free from any mental disorder; sane.
1.the usual, average, or typical state or condition.
“her temperature was above normal“
I could ask one hundred people what they think ‘normal’ is. I probably have one hundred different answers. The answers probably based on culture, status in life, gender, etc.,
I was asking that question about myself, what is ‘normal’ for me. Looking back my life was a emotional roller coaster. I was not a happy person, yes, I had moments of happiness, but they were just a snapshot in my life.
I dropped out of school, went to work until an itinerant preacher asked me to travel as an organist. I felt happy most of the time travelling around Canada and the States. Yet my volcanic mood swings would almost tear up any of my relationships.
I tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. My life was shattered with no purpose, at least that is how I felt. This was my first experience of being admitted to a Mental Health ward. The only thing I remember about that ordeal was the movie they showed us, “What About Bob”. The lesson they wanted us to take away from it was in recovery you have to take ‘Baby Steps’.
Then another blow that happened was the death of my mother in 2000. I kept my self control during the whole matter. Then another hit to my mental weakness was the death of my grandmother. All those things culminated in another suicide attempt.
That triggered another of many stays in the Mental Health Ward in the local hospital. I learned many things about myself. About ‘Bi-Polar’, ‘manic depression’, and many other aspects of being ‘Bi-Polar’.
I have been on meds now for over ten years and I am stable. No more wild mood swings, harmful thoughts, no more eruptions of anger. Life now is stable, I am for the most part very happy, there are several factors for this, my very best friend, my daughter, and three grandchildren
So dear reader, I do not want to go back to the way life was before treatment. The life I have now is what I call “normal”.
A real man ain’t a coward, he stands by what he says, admits his faults, and corrects his mistakes.
Starting with this post I will be exploring Mens Mental Health from time to time. For this post I want to take a look at myths about men.
- Big boys don’t cry – I read somewhere that crying is a release of our pent up frustrations. It is a release of all thing toxic. Maybe if men would allow themselves to cry there wouldn’t be outbursts of rage.
- Men Don’t Show Emotions – God forbid if a man was to place a hand on the shoulder of someone hurting, or if they were to hug a man who is in need of comforting. I cannot recall one instance where my father ever showed a compassionate side towards me. Never once spoke the words to me, “I Love you”. I say that every time I talk to my daughter, grandchildren, and other. The only emotion that they are comfortable showing is anger.
- Men don’t talk to their sons about sex. Instead they have the attitude of “let them learn it like I did, on the streets. Could it be that maybe what their sons are learning on the streets is the cause for many of them to become abusive emotionally and physically to women. Men you need to talk openly and honestly about sex, what it is and what it is not. My father never once talked to me concerning puberty, sex, etc.,
There are probably many more myths about what a real man is. But, the myths must be taken down, stripped away, to allow real men to step forward.
So dear reader if you know of a myth about real men please bring it to my attention using the comment section.