COVID Reopening – Anxieties -Mental Health

Just a note about my recovery. I am doing great and the therapist believes I only need one more visit. I have put in storage my wheelchair and my walker. I am now able to walk with just a cane. I can do my own shopping and have started to do more of my own housework.

I am fully vaccinated, but I find myself becoming anxious when going out. It is my understanding that this is happening to many. After being forced to stay at home, going out into the public is causing stress for many. Help lines are seeing a steep incline in calls with people concerned about their mental health.

Here in Saskatchewan we still have to mask up in all federal and medical settings. However, I still grab a mask when going into store, like Walmart. I even have a difficult time going to medical appointments. I have grown to like being able to speak to my doctor by phone. I had my first in person appointment with him a couple of weeks ago. Yet, I was nervous about going in. I knew that there would be an empty waiting room, patients are told to arrive just before their appointment. It alleviates patients coming in contact with other patients.

I ask myself, is this my new normal. Will I always be anxious in public spaces. I look south across our border and see the numbers rising with the Delta Variant. Will this variant make it’s way north, has it already arrived? I tell my best friend many times that I think that re-opening is going too fast. Are we heading for another shutdown in the fall? I hope not!

So I ask you, dear reader, are you having moments of nervousness going back out into the public? Do you have reservations about how fast things are returning to a “normal” state? I want to hear how you are feeling, about your thoughts about this post Covid normal.

Staring At Mental Health

Lesson one: you can never please everyone. The world is as divided now as I can remember in my short 23 years. Issues that are so obvious to me at face value, like wearing a mask in a pandemic or kneeling to show support for anti-racism, are ferociously contested. I mean, wow. So, when I said I needed to miss French Open press conferences to take care of myself mentally, I should have been prepared for what unfolded. – Naomi Osaka

I was made aware of a story about an Olympic athlete, Naomi Osaka, on a newscast referring to an article found on Time, “It’s O.K. Not To Be O.K.” Osaka, a pro tennis player decided not to do a press conference after a game, instead she took time to deal with her personal mental health. This has caused a windstorm among many.

I have been spending much time alone, alone to where I am staring at my mental health. Of course, sleep issues still prevalent, makes for some very long hours. I found myself snapping back at my best friend, for the life of me I do not know what the issue was about. I apologized immediately, but I found myself staring, coming to the realization about how my body needs lots of rest. Now, on the other hand, best friend can function on about six hours.

I have come to the realization that mental health is, in my opinion, similar to a body of water. They both need a never ending supply of freshness, otherwise they become stagnant producing only stinking algae. I have found myself that I was living in a self-imposed bubble. I was becoming stagnant in my goal of great mental health.

Spending many hours in solitaire can do two things, one drive you over the edge, or two sharpen your ability to hear your inner self. Listening to the inner self causing one to stare at their mental health, that is what has been happening in the absence on this blog.

I have begun to listen, not argue, nor get angry, to other voices in a conversation. Conversations that I would normally block myself against listening. My best friend has been the driver of this, he is constantly telling me that I need to listen to both sides of an argument. I am the kind of person if I am listening to someone who is spouting, lack of a better expression, “bull puckey”” I hit the mute button.

Being absent for this short time has also allowed me to go back and re-read some of the blog posts that I was going to use for material. I am finding that I have to completely deconstruct the writing causing me to approach the subject in a more meaningful way.

Let me be totally frank and honest, many live in political, religious, and issue based bubbles. I tell my best friend I would not be a good reporter because I would probably be quite slanted in doing so. When I listen to great reporting it is something that presents all of the facts, both pro and cons, of any given issue that is being covered.

Going forward at the beginning of the fall I am going to set myself to write about mental health in a more balanced approach. I will still speak about all of my mental health challenges, but I will try to present them in a more comprehensive matter.

I wonder dear reader, are you stuck in a bubble? I call it a bubble, not a rut, because it encompasses more than just our daily routines, it is about staring at mental health and staring at it in a honest manner! Please share with me and the other readers your thoughts!

p.s. the writing is progressing and I am in a deep research phase.

Summertime Heat Wave & Little Sleep

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on

Just thought I would put together a few thoughts. Western Canada and the Upper West Coast of America are experiencing scorching heat. Washington state at one point saw the temperature reach 116 degrees Fahrenheit.

The last several weeks have been somewhat productive. For the first time I was able to get into my best friend’s car and do some personal shopping. It felt great to be anywhere, but my living room. Of course we went at 7 a.m. to avoid the heat and a crowd.

I have started my work on the book I have wanted to write. And I am now just hitting sixty thousand words, just a very rough draft. I have no time limit on when I will finish. I have turned to my best source, my blog posts on my secondary blog site.

I finished Don Lemon’s book, “This Is The Fire, What I Tell My Friends About Racism”. It is a gripping first hand approach about racism, his own personal experiences, his upbringing, and covers history with a look at the movies.

I have been accomplishing those things with very little sleep. I spoke to my doctor concerning my issue with insomnia and he prescribed Trazadone, an anti-depressant medication. I am finding little help with it, in helping with the sleepless nights. So, come early Monday morning I will be putting in a phone call to him.

I am working my way slowly through two other books and have ordered President Obama’s newest writing.

I have been encouraged how people are still finding blog posts and hitting the “Like”. Lets me know that I have done something correctly. Thank you to all those who have decided to follow! Also, to those who have kept following during my time out.

So dear reader, just a brief few thoughts about what is happening in my realm of the world! Would love to hear about what is happening with you at the start of a very heated and humid summer! Stay cool!