Me, Myself, and I; Party of One

 In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.” Rollo May

Growing up I never had lots of friends, mostly I would have just one close friend. I didn’t hang out with others from school. I was always content to do things alone. I could spend hours tinkering with my race track set, trying to record different things on my reel-to-reel recorder.

I knew how to be cordial around others, but I was one who couldn’t wait to get away from crowds. I did not want to mingle, or even have “small talk”. Now if someone was speaking to me I would always gracefully listen and interact with them. I hope I never made them feel that I wasn’t interested in what they were saying.

Someone once mentioned to me that I had the leanings of a “recluse”, I took that as a compliment. I do enjoy my own company, love the quiet in a room with solitude. No background noise, just me, myself, and I; A Party of One.

For some, this would be maddening for they thrive on lots of people, lots of chatter, to be honest, lots of unnecessary drama. I wonder at times if they maybe afraid of their own voice, their thoughts clear and loud in their quiet times.

My mental health is dependent on having solitude, a place of quiet, free from all outside influencers. I do not always follow the crowd and sometimes that has caused some people to think I am cold, that I don’t like people. I like people a lot, but I like myself even more. Over the years I have learned quite much about who I am, where I stand with myself. There was a time I hated looking in the mirror, discontent with what I saw. No, not the outward appearance, but rather the being locked up inside. Like a caged bird, more like a canary, who lost how to sing a beautiful melody.

I still do not have lots of people around me constantly. Basically, it is just my best friend. If I am outside and a neighbor is out I will stop and say hi, ask about their wellness. But, when I come back into my house and close the door it is my place of security. It is when I close that door I then shut out all of the outside voices.

So dear reader, are you comfortable being alone with yourself? Are you at peace with your thoughts, or do you crave the many voices constantly chattering but saying nothing? I would love to hear your thoughts about, “Me, Myself, and I; A Party of One”.

One thought on “Me, Myself, and I; Party of One

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