“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
“The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.”
What I am about to write, and what you are about to read, may not be your cup of tea. It is not my intention to tell you how to handle the hurts that have happened throughout your life. This old guy recognizes that pain that has been inflicted through the actions of someone else is difficult even on the best of days.
I am writing to share how I arrived where I am today, yes, scarred, bruised, and sometimes dejected. I have found everyone heals differently, also how they approach handling rejection, accusations, and emotional hell.
I am not going to write a sermon, yet, I will say my faith has carried me throughout my roughest times.
There were times growing up that I would cry and ask, “why did I have to be born”, “what did I do wrong”? My self esteem was low and to put it nicely, I had to look up to touch bottom. I am sure that those who shot the arrows didn’t care about the deep pain they inflicted. I have learned that abusers take glee silently and it makes them feel superior over the abused.
There is a story I heard that sort of describes how I have managed the pain of the abuse both physically and emotionally. The farmer had a pig that fell into a deep hole. The hole was too deep for the farmer to rescue the pig. So, the farmer decided he would bury the pig live. He went for a shovel and started to throw dirt down over the pig. Well, the pig shocked the old farmer for what it did. You see, the pig shook off the dirt patted it under his feet. When the farmer saw that he realized how to rescue that pig. He started throwing dirt over the pig. Once again, the pig shook it off and patted it under his feet. It wasn’t very long that the pig had patted enough dirt under him that he was soon out of the pit.
I am not one that carries a grudge, I do not seek revenge, what I do though, I just cut the cord of that person out of my life.
Let me be honest, I do have my moments where I think about having a pity party. What my father did to me was create in me to work to be better than him. To do something with my life. I put blood sweat and tears learning to play that piano. Five years later I was traveling across my home country and America doing what I loved, playing the piano, singing, and then learning a new talent, playing an organ. No one can claim that they did that, nobody but me, I did all that and lifted myself out of a low self-esteem.
So dear reader, all I can say is, that was my road out of the pain. I am still a work in progress, but, I am not the old guy I was even five years ago!