We Have A Lot of Heroes!

everyday-heroes-sign

Just be yourself and be upfront about your expectations and desires. Don’t be ambiguous and play hard to get. It doesn’t work. You’ll end up in the friend zone. Mike Posner
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/upfront-quotes

I have not always been open in sharing my life, I mean I kept people at a distance.  I didn’t let many people in, I wanted to have a mystique about myself.

Since I started to write about my journey called the “bi-polar life” I have found it becomes easier to share more deeper issues.  Before this I had not ever spoken about my attempted suicide.  Except for my best friend no one else really saw me at my lowest when I first entered the Mental Health Ward.  That first time I know I probably kept my distance from others also admitted there.  The group therapy sessions were for others to talk, I didn’t enter into the conversation.

I came home after that trying my damndest to keep the same routine.  Yes, it worked for maybe a couple of weeks only to find myself falling back into my old ways.  Eventually I would find myself back in treatment, I started to become more involved in the groups, participating in the conversations, sharing my personal thoughts.

Writing posts on my blog has worked it’s wonder allowing me to feel freer in sharing more of my life.

Reading all of the posts of others has let me know that I am not the only one with feelings, going through the exact things like myself.

While I am reading your posts I say to myself, “that takes guts”.  I can feel the despair, the pain, the agony, that comes through your words.

So fellow blogger believe it or not, you are all heroes! Never stop writing your story!

A Re-Blog: 10 Ways to Support Someone Who Has Bipolar — Dealing with Life Issues – Bi-polar first…

10 Ways to Support Someone Who Has Bipolar For the people who support us, there are ways to reduce stress, improve relationships, and make for a better overall quality of life for everyone. By Stephen Propst For those of us who have bipolar disorder, we are kidding ourselves if we think we can go it […]

via 10 Ways to Support Someone Who Has Bipolar — Dealing with Life Issues – Bi-polar first…

Normal, What’s That?

anxiety-1337383_640

The problem of living is at bottom an economic one. And this alone is bad enough, even in a period of so-called “normalcy.” But living has been considerably complicated of late in various ways – by war, by questions of personal liberty, and by “menaces” of one kind or another. Votes: 3

Benton MacKaye

The latest catch phrase is “the new normal“.  Experts on news shows say we will never go back to “normal“.  For some that is frightening, for they need the old normal, structure, schedules, deadlines, etc., I have heard opinions about the reason why prisoners when released back into society and re-offend.  They offer the opinion that some of those are use to the structure of prison life.  They have no skills in coping in a fast paced society.

Now everyone has a different normal.  Mine has changed over the years, some for good, others for the frustration.  I have heard it said that people starting out in the workforce will probably change their career at least two times.

I am not sure what my normal will look like after this turbulent times.  Maybe, I am worrying for naught, I will see.

I realize for those who are bi-polar like me sometimes the unknown can cause anxiety.  In my past things unknown was trouble, I would get jumpy, irritable, almost angry to where I would want to lash out.  It was during these times when a relationship with someone would go up in flames.

So, I hope that when the “new normal” arrives it better come with a handbook!

The Crazy World Of Depression

carry-the-world“It’s okay to be crazy and scared and brave at the same time!”
― Kelly Epperson

Crazy Qoutes

There are those days when I think I just want to scream. Scream about what I don’t know, I just want to scream.

Then there are the days where I feel I could take on the world, have all the answers to life’s woes.  Reality though tells me that I don’t know what I am talking about.

Pills, pills, pills.  Take in the morning, take at supper time, take at bed time.  Green pill to get going, red pill to stop, I take more pills than I eat in calories.

Pardon me, but it is just one of those days that thoughts like these take over.  I try to stay positive in such a negative climate.

So, I will carry on, maybe tomorrow will be a day when the crazy world of depression won’t seem to be so bad!

Really, That’s Not Normal

 

vintage-1418613_1280
Vintage Brain – Pixabay.com

“So, this is how it’s become? This is how I’ve become? A walking contradiction? I’m surrounded by people and feel alone. I claim to crave a bit of normalcy but now that I have some, it’s like I don’t know what to do with it, I don’t know how to be a normal person anymore.”
― Gayle Forman, Where She Went

If I am honest things are definitely not normal.  Upside down, inside out, topsy turvy, mad house, those are just some adjectives to describe the new world we are living in.

Gone is the outstretched hand to shake another.  The warm hug from someone we love.  Travel not advised, borders being closed.  Favorite restaurants closed to sitting in to dine.  Places we love to gather in shuttered until further notice. 

Being bi – polar is a world that is hard to understand.  Highs, lows, mood stabilizers, sleeping pills, a whole host of other medications too many to list.

It would be easy to allow myself to sink in sheer panic, nightmares of it being the end of the world, or the opposite, refusing to believe that there really is no danger.

The brain is a marvelous thing how it protects us during times of great distress.  Listening to it though is an exercise all on it’s own.

Nobody really knows how long it will be before we go back to what we recognize as normal.  Yes, there are those who think they have the answer, but, they are the minority.

So, my life will not change much.  I only go out for shopping and doctor’s appointments.  I have resigned myself that no matter what it will be “steady as it goes”!

How To Face A Crisis?

economic-worries

I’ve been in crisis situations, I’ve been down, I’ve been hurt, I’ve been behind on the scorecards, and I’ve had to pull that shot out to knock somebody out. I’ve been in all kinds of situations and still come out on top. Tyson Fury
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/crisis-quotes

Unless you have been living in a cave in a far away desert you then have been hearing of the world pandemic of the corona virus.  The news seems so grim, the numbers keep ticking upward.  As of this post there are eight hundred forty nine confirmed cases in the United States.  By the way, Canada the country I live in is not immune either. We now have had one death in the province of British Columbia.

All of this had me reflecting on some of the crisis’s I have faced.  Motorcycle accident, attempted suicide, diagnosed bi-polar.  Plus several close family passing away.

The morning after the motorbike accident I was in my hospital room when the morning nurse came in.  She was carrying a tray with some things on it.  Of course I moved to see who it was. The tray hit the floor and her face looked like she had just seen a ghost.  I asked here what the problem was.  She called me Mr. (last name) I just came from reports, she said I was diagnosed that I would be a quadriplegic.  Many days later I walked out of the hospital under my own strength.

The morning after my attempted suicide the nurse talked to me and told how co-operative I was when they were getting me to drink “charcoal” fluid.  It has something to do with counter acting the sleeping pills. 

I could go on a write several more points of crisis that I have faced. But, this post is not about my times of crisis.

Everyone reacts differently in the times of crisis.  Some respond by acting detached from the situation.  Some go about like there is a three alarm fire happening, others just cry.

How we handle a crisis, I believe, tells us something about who we are.  Not that were good or bad, but if we can find it within us the strength to battle the crisis, coming out stronger on the other side.  Or like me decide that taking my own life was the answer to my crisis at the time.

I here about those in the United States who will not have sick leave pay, no health care insurance, and definitely cannot even manage a crisis of four hundred dollars. 

Will there be panic on the streets, people running to hoard whatever the safety masks, other things like food, water, medicine, if there is a total quarantine like the one imposed on the Nation of Italy.

So, I cannot do much as one person.  I do not have mountains of wealth to give to a cause, not able to volunteer to help at a crisis center.  What I do have is, empathy, sympathy, and yes, the breath to say a prayer for those in crisis!

Let Me Introduce Myself

hyacinth-1398839_640
Pixabay.com

To all my follows, welcome to my blog.

This is now my journal on my journey through all aspects of being a man dealing with being bi-polar.

When I started this blog in 2011 my objective was to write about Biblical things, Scriptures.

It changed almost a year ago, cannot believe it has been that long, when I began to share my story.

A short time ago I created what I call “My Code of Honor“.  If you have not read this I would encourage you to take a moment and read it. Just click on the link above in this paragraph.

I appreciate everyone who share with their comments at the end of each post.  It is cms-265128_640through this conversation that we build relationships with one another, also other bloggers.

 

 

 

 

For my last comment let me just say,

bubbles-1968298_640

 

A Re Blog: What are the Top 5 Psychological Disorders? — Family and Individual Therapy

Psychological disorders are more common than most people would think. This is because there is a stigma when it comes to talking about mental health. If you asked most people what the top 5 psychological disorders are, they wouldn’t be able to tell you. Let’s take a look at what the most common psychological disorders are.

via What are the Top 5 Psychological Disorders? — Family and Individual Therapy

Just Live!

black-and-white-music-headphones-life-3104

“To create more positive results in your life, replace ‘if only’ with ‘next time’.”– Unknown – From: https://www.keepinspiring.me/quotes-about-change-in-life/

It seems like yesterday, the day my daughter was born. I was sitting in the waiting area watching t.v.  My mom and her boyfriend decided they were going have some breakfast.  It was a Sunday morning, around 7:05 a.m. a nurse brought a little baby girl out so that I could hold her.  They didn’t clean her up yet, but that didn’t bother me, my whole world at that moment was revolving around this tiny little human.  That tiny little girl has just turn thirty-five years old.

There is something that I use to tell young people, I guess I still would, “before you settle down and start a family do yourself a favor, take some time and see your country.  I was fortunate for I was seeing my country playing the piano or organ, better yet I was being paid.  Those are memories I hold close to me, they are what comforts me when I get the itch to move.

Now I am experiencing a new part of my life, life as a father, and a grateful grandfather.  The youngest turns eight in February.  When they come to visit it gives me a rush of adrenaline.

All through those years I struggled within me, highs and lows, not understanding what was ailing my mind.  It wasn’t until around 2004 I had the answer, I was bi-polar.  With the help of my psychiatrist I was put on a regiment of medications, medications that keep me balance. 

If while you are young and able to go, go see the country, experience other cultures, their food, their music, taste, feel, hear, and listen.  So, when the family comes along you will have some memories that no one, anything can rob you of them.

So, take a deep breath, and just put your foot one in front of the other. Go and just live life to the fullest! You won’t regret it!

Learning New Tricks

letter-blocks-247819

“Change is the end result of all true learning.”
― Leo Buscaglia

https://www.dashe.com/blog/motivation/inspiring-learning-quotes/

I am not sure who came up with this line: “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”.  I believe the opposite is true. Yes, learning is not so easy as an older person, but it is possible over a elongated period of time.

Lately I have been hearing and reading about “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy”

Cognitive behavioral therapy is a psycho-social intervention that aims to improve mental health. CBT focuses on challenging and changing unhelpful cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and the development of personal coping strategies that target solving current problems. Wikipedia



I feel, because I have been exploring this trying to re-train my mind how to think, discern, react, is a doable thing.

For several posts now I have been doing a deep introspection to find new ways of dealing with the severity of being bi-polar and depression.  I can feel the affects working slowly within me.

I am not sure exactly where this journey will take me, but for now I am taking this chance!