The Unseen Scars & Mental Health

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” ― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy


I have noticed lately all of the physical scars I have. One from the hip surgery, two from having pressure point sores, and there are those that I cannot tell you how they happened.

Then, there are those scars that cannot be seen with the human eye. Scars of mental wars, those that were caused by the lost of loved ones, some caused by betrayal, and then there are those scars that have been self-inflicted. I must admit some of those scars no longer bring about mental anguish anymore. They are just there as a reminder of things I have endured over my sixty years.

I like to think that my scars have not molded me, that they do not define me, but that would not be truthful. The death of my maternal grandfather opened a new door, one that would have me sit in front of a piano and work feverishly to make it sound like good music. The death of a second cousin, two years older than myself, caused by falling off scaffolding while working on a barn. The preacher’s open line of the eulogy, “Life Is Not Fair“!

It is because of those invisible scars that I can be thankful for every day, every moment, and every thing that comes my way.

I have that invisible scar that was created by an suicide attempt. This scar makes me want to get out of bed every morning. It is a reminder how that life can be fleeting like a whisper of smoke.

So dear reader, do scars have an impact on your life? Have they help shaped you into the person you now are? I would like to hear your replies about those invisible scars!

Summertime Heat Wave & Little Sleep

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels.com

Just thought I would put together a few thoughts. Western Canada and the Upper West Coast of America are experiencing scorching heat. Washington state at one point saw the temperature reach 116 degrees Fahrenheit.

The last several weeks have been somewhat productive. For the first time I was able to get into my best friend’s car and do some personal shopping. It felt great to be anywhere, but my living room. Of course we went at 7 a.m. to avoid the heat and a crowd.

I have started my work on the book I have wanted to write. And I am now just hitting sixty thousand words, just a very rough draft. I have no time limit on when I will finish. I have turned to my best source, my blog posts on my secondary blog site.

I finished Don Lemon’s book, “This Is The Fire, What I Tell My Friends About Racism”. It is a gripping first hand approach about racism, his own personal experiences, his upbringing, and covers history with a look at the movies.

I have been accomplishing those things with very little sleep. I spoke to my doctor concerning my issue with insomnia and he prescribed Trazadone, an anti-depressant medication. I am finding little help with it, in helping with the sleepless nights. So, come early Monday morning I will be putting in a phone call to him.

I am working my way slowly through two other books and have ordered President Obama’s newest writing.

I have been encouraged how people are still finding blog posts and hitting the “Like”. Lets me know that I have done something correctly. Thank you to all those who have decided to follow! Also, to those who have kept following during my time out.

So dear reader, just a brief few thoughts about what is happening in my realm of the world! Would love to hear about what is happening with you at the start of a very heated and humid summer! Stay cool!

Time Out

I find myself both mentally and physically drained. I feel the main culprit is the hip surgery because of the stress I was under and in some ways still there. It has been a long road from finding what the cause of severe pain, to the actual diagnosis that my hip needed replacing.

Another factor that is adding to the above factors is that I am weaning off opioid painkillers. For the past week I have my circadian rhythm thrown off. I am not having deep sleep and the sleep I do get is minimum, so I am exhausted during the day and barely functioning.

This leads to the reason of this post. I am going to take a time out from blogging over the summer, but will check in from time to time to catch up on some reading. During this time I will be gathering my notes and relevant posts to start work on a book that I have wanted to write since leaving active ministry.

Also, I am going to recharge by taking in some necessary reading of three new books I have. One is ” Making Sense of Psychiatric Diagnosis: Understanding the DSM-5 by Ashley L Peterson. Another is a book that was reviewed by Ashley L. Peterson on her blog www.Mentalhealth@home.org, “Blackness Interrupted: Black Psychology Matters” by Nicól Osborne and Tamera Gittens. Then last on the list is a new book written by CNN Prime Time Host, Don Lemon, “This Is the Fire: What I Say to My Friends About Racism “.

So dear reader, this exhausted and drained blogger will be back near the end of August. I hope you will be there when I return!

Now Working For My Recovery

Well in the hospital they started working with me to get me back on my feet. The work is hard, but it is necessary if I want to use this new hip for what it is intended.

I spent most of my lone time to go back to what I love, reading! Since their so called tv. system is a joke I needed to find a way to fill my time. One of the therapists went down to the main floor and brought up two books written by two of my favorite authors, Tom Clancy and James Patterson. I am currently reading the writing of the latter. It is a true story that takes place around the birth of the twentieth century. It is dealing with the lynching and the K.K.K. in the deep south of America. The Title, Alex Cross.

I am grateful that I could have a hip replacement. I think about those who are not fortunate to have a health care system like that found in Canada. If I were to be in another country I may not have been able to afford this surgery. My heart goes out to those who suffer with health issues and do not have the resources to seek help.

I am told my recovery will take about three months before I can walk without a four-legged walker. I cannot use my other walker because it has wheels.

What kept me going forward was my thoughts about an uncle that had hip replacement and for some reasons he spent the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

I feel that anything you work hard for is worth having, which for me is being able once again to walk my dog, Natalie and visiting my neighbors.

So dear reader I am on my way to the end of the tunnel!

New Observations About Blogging


“Successful blogging is not about one time hits. It’s about building a loyal following over time.”David Aston


I am probably the last person you would ask about the intricacies on blogging. I really don’t understand the nuts and bolts about WordPress. My journey in blogging has basically been trial and error.

However, once in a while I have little things pop up that gives me a sense of accomplishment. Things like this:

The other day a thought came to me about blogging. It was this, “do the work, then let the work work”.

Here is how I would define “the work”

a. Be yourself

b. Try to be consistent

c. Interact with other bloggers. When I interact with others I try to stay within the subject of their post. I do my best to be respectful and courteous. One blogger has had to take down the comment section because of some being rude and outright asses.

d. I try to step out of my universe, the bubble that I usually read or comment. I use the section of “Search” and “Tags” found on the left side. I like to enter a topic on either the “Search” or the “Tags”. I have found some great posts and have even added them to blogs that I follow.

So dear reader, it is because of you encouraging me along this blogging journey that has kept me going. For that I say, “Thank you”!

Blogging Helps Keeping My Sanity

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you. Rita Mae Brown
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/sanity-quotes


***Inspired by Ashley of mentalhealthathome.org. Her post, How Do We Communicate? Thank you Ashley!

At this time of my life I really do not have many sources that gives me some space to relate with others. My phone doesn’t ring all that much. If it does it is usually my friend, daughter, aunt, or a spammer.

The weather has turned nice which I was able to open the window and air out my house. It also allowed me to take some deep breaths to refresh my lungs and my being. Before this turn in the weather I was suffering with cabin fever and how I really wanted to go walking through a store to do some shopping.

For my upcoming appointment with the surgeon I had to search out a different form to take me. My friend remembered one such service that offers rides for those who are physically struggling. I will have to use my wheelchair, that rules out for my friend to take me. I doubt very much I could ride in his car for it rides low.

I have been trying my utmost to find ways to keep my brain alert and functional. Reading is my favorite in accomplishing that task. I also do Sudoku once in awhile, and my favorite game on the computer is Mahjong.

Of course there are the times where I can watch some curling or hockey with my best friend. It passes the time and we joke around with each other. He fills me in with news from around the city and things that are happening within my neighborhood.

Then there is my dog, she can do the craziest things which will make me laugh. Once in a while she will hop onto the couch and cuddle next to me. She does this usually as I am reading, which calms me from any anxiety I have at that moment.

By far, the only other outlet I have is right here on WordPress. I enjoy reading all the different posts and about what is happening in other people’s world. I like the communicating back and forth with others. I am not always on WordPress lately, so when I do log in, I truly like how I can escape, even for a few minutes, from my own little space and world. If I find someone new that has visited my blog I always take time to check out their blog. I have found some great gems out there to read and sometimes follow!

So dear reader, in a world where I could lose my sanity thinking about all that I will have to face one thing remains certain, blogging helps keep my sanity!

Mental Illness – Schizophrenia

I am not truly sure where this will go, but I have a reason for writing about Schizophrenia.

I had just been married, April 1983, we were heading to Ontario to my home area. We were going there because there were only three that could attend the wedding in Saskatchewan.

I was young and my knowledge about this mental illness could fill a thimble. Yes, I have seen movies and their portrayal of Schizophrenia.

My family in the east was in a crisis situation concerning an aunt of mine. She was showing symptoms of the mental illness. And they did not know how to deal with her. She was placed in a mental health ward and left there.

We arrived into Ontario and my first stop was at my grandmother’s house where we would stay. They filled me in on her situation. At that time the family had never dealt with anything when it concerned mental illness. They had spoke to the Pastor and he didn’t want to deal with it. {what I am about to write I don’t believe it is true} Some in the congregation thought it was “demons” , that is bull pucky pure and simple.

My aunt somehow found out that I was in the area and it wasn’t long before I would start receiving calls from the mental health ward. So, I would jump into my car and drive to Windsor, Ontario to see her. My first glimpse of her was shocking. Her voice was barely above a whisper and her movements seemed jilted.

I really didn’t know what to say or do, so I just went with my gut feelings. I saw that there was a pool table and there was another girl there sitting off in a corner by herself. I took my aunt over to the pool table and I asked the other girl if she would like to join us. She did just that, and we just would shoot the balls not really playing a game of pool. I began to speak to the other girl and I found out her name. I am not sure how long we spent at the table, but I needed to start heading back. Before I left a nurse took me aside and asked how I was able to get the girl to talk with me. I just told the nurse that I just treated her like a human being. That was my first visit, but it wouldn’t be the last and the phone calls were daily, sometimes several times a day.

So dear reader, I wrote the above incident because I would like to explore schizophrenia, the myths and the facts. Have you ever dealt with it? What are the myths that you have heard?

p.s. – Over the next few weeks I will explore the myths and then discuss the facts.

A New Milestone

Today I am happy to say I have reached 500 follows.

I want to say Thank You to everyone of the five hundred one!

These last two years have been a wonderful journey. I have met so many great people, loved all the conversations through these two years.

It is my hope and desire that I will continue to meet more great people in the WordPress Community.

It has been wonderful the encouragement I have received from everyone and for that I am truly grateful!

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

A New Interview – Angie of Mama Coffee Chat

I am not sure when I first came across Angie’s blog, Mama Coffee Chat, a blog that I found worth following. I would encourage you to stop by and visit her blog. Say hello to her!

About a week ago I contacted her about interviewing her. Below is the interview.

1. On your site you have, “Life in between cold cups of coffee and figuring out who I am.” Can you tell us how much have you decided of who you are? 

First, I just want to say that I love that you used the phrase “Decided who I am”. That’s a powerful statement.   

I have decided that I am enough. It really doesn’t matter what others think or what they say…I am truly enough. I can have boundaries, and I am strong enough to keep those boundaries in place. I am an awesome friend, I am a great mother to all 3 of my kids, I am a caring and hardworking wife to my husband of 20+ years. I have also decided that I love adventures and meeting new people (although I still enjoy my alone time!) I love testing my fears (within limit) and I love to try new things! It’s part of the adventure! Oh yes, and I’ve also decided I really don’t like cold coffee 🙂 

2. Tell us some of what Angie was like growing up.

Wow. That’s a big question to answer. There’s many levels. I was quiet, loved to play on my own. I got along well others of all ages but once play time was over I would gladly (and quickly!) retreat to a corner for alone time again. I always enjoyed school. I was disappointed if I got anything lower than an A. I was a perfectionist. I was a rebellious teen but usually tried to stay out of trouble. Something I didn’t realize until just a couple of years ago is that I was also extremely brave and strong and more responsible than most my age. I was (and AM) a survivor. I lost myself while growing up through all the abuse, like many do. 

3. Why did you start blogging?

I originally started so I could share recipes and I hoped it would help me with my mental health. I needed to try and “find” myself again. Re-learn who I am and what I kinds of things I like, not what I’m expected to like.

4. Have you reached your goal from blogging?

Far from it! If I could set a goal and stick to it, it would help. I have many goals and I keep adding to the list, but I have a hard time actually finishing. My mind is always all over the place.

5. Where do you see Angie ten years from now?

Ten years from now things are going to look much different. My youngest will be getting his drivers permit, my oldest will be 20! I hope to be spending more time at the lake in nature. I see myself sitting on the sand by the water reading or drawing (how I miss drawing!) I see myself in a place of better mental health. 

6. Which is your favorite genre of reading and why?

My favorite genres by far are Crime-Fiction, Thriller and Psychological Thriller.  I have read some great books of all genres, but few are as satisfying as a good crime fiction novel!

7. Which is your favorite genre of music and why?

The answer to this depends on the mood I’m in. I really love classic rock from the 60’s and 70’s. I also listen to Tchaikovsky and Garth Brooks. Barbara Streisand and Pretty Reckless. My favorite bands are Metallica and ACDC but regardless of the mood I’m in, I’m always up for some good ol’ Rock and Roll.

8. Do you have any heroes living or dead?

I don’t have anyone that I would consider a “hero”. Not in the sense of someone to rely on if the world was in chaos or a giant clown spider was taking over the city. In that case, I turn to God. I do have people I look up to and highly respect. There are three people that I can think of off the top of my head that would belong in this category.

9. Why are they your heroes?

My cousin: She keeps me on the right track with my mental health, always a positive “You can do it” attitude. She’s a wonderful mother who almost always manages to guide her children with love and kindness.

Oprah: Despite all she had against her, she came out on top and better in spite of it all. 

Princess Diana: An example of a true Princess. She gave her time, her heart and her soul to many people. There are too many reasons to name as to why I look up to her.

10. Why did you choose recipes to blog about?

I chose recipes mainly because I love to bake! I never really learned to bake until after I was married, and my cooking wasn’t anything to write home about either. My meals are always pretty basic because I find I don’t always have the focus to try something elaborate. Maybe once the kids are a bit older. Baking is my creative outlet. Yet it still has to be pretty simple! I share the recipes for those (like me) who don’t have much knowledge in the area and may be a bit scared to try new things. Easy recipes have a higher success rate and therefore will boost your confidence to try something bigger!

11. Do you have a favorite recipe and what is it?

This is a hard one. I’m going to have to say my favorites would be cinnamon buns and whipped shortbread.

I wish to say thank you Dwain, for the opportunity to hear my voice and learn a little about myself as well. For some, these might seem like easy questions, but it has helped me remember why I started my blog and where I was when I began. A couple of the questions made me really have to think about how I wanted to answer. My heroes, my favorite music or books…These are things that were answered FOR me previously and so I needed to really focus on hearing MY voice. It’s hard to see yourself shine through all the tarnish when you come from a childhood of abuse. 


Thank you Angie for a wonderful interview!

The Journey

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” Glenn Close

One thing that I have learned about living with mental health challenges is that every day is a new test, sometimes a stress test. The only choice it leaves me is to put one foot in front of the other.

There was only so much that group therapy could equip with you. It was great for I learned so many must tools for the challenges of being bi-polar. I consider this WordPress community as one big virtual group session. It has done for me many great things. The ability to be able to talk about my journey to great mental health. Everyone has something to share, an experience that brought them some joy, one who has to vent their feelings over a challenge that they are facing at a particular moment.

This journey leads up mountains, valleys, deserts, across rivers. There are times that the path is blocked by fallen trees, overgrown vegetation, yet still I have to keep moving focusing on reaching my great mental health.

There may be times when I am going to have to ask someone to help along the path, to help keep me upright when the road gets rocky.

When the nights get cold and loneliness tries to creep up on me, I remind myself that if I just hold fast the sun will rise again in the east to warm my spirit. It is also during those nights that I must remember I have passed through others and was successful, that I can do it again.

So dear reader let me take a few moments to say, Thank you! Thank you for being patience and kind during the past few posts where I shared some of my battles, my life, the journey I have been on trying to obtain great mental health!

The Best Investment Plan

“Invest time and energy in your well being. Create an atmosphere of emotional safety for yourself.”
― Amy Leigh Mercree


If there is one thing I have learned about surviving depression is that it is on me to maintain my emotional health. I need to spend time, effort, and diligence so that I do not backslide into depression causing me to have to start again.

It is not up to others to make sure that I am taking care. Yes, they can express their concern, asking me how I am doing. Yet, they have no power to twist my arm to invest in my well being.

Some things I have done to invest in my good mental health:

  • Admit that I need help, then seek out the help
  • Listen to the Physicians, Psychiatrists, Mental Health Nurses
  • Also listen to others who also have/or are dealing with depression
  • Find safe outlets to have a place to express your feelings, or your thoughts
  • I found ways to enhance my mental health. I chose blogging, reading, and when able cooking and baking.
  • I have learned to shut out all influences that may trigger the wrong responses that may harm my mental stability
  • When I slip/fail I have learned not to stay down, but, get back up and learn from those failures.
  • Just keep an open mind to things that I can add to my to-do list that will bring me to my desired outcome.

I cannot tell you, promise, guarantee that what I have done will work for you. These are just some steps that I took to invest in my good mental health.

So dear reader here is what I can guarantee you, the best investment you can ever make is to invest in you!


*** I am still looking for those who would be willing to do an interview. Or maybe you know someone who would be great for an interview. If so please use the Contact Page***


Mental Time Out!

You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Every so often, everyone needs to give themselves a big ol’ bear hug and treat themselves to some TLC. Sean Covey
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/taking-time-quotes


I was mi.a.(missing in action) on purpose. I just needed to shut down, turn off, from all the heaviness happening around the world, especially what is happening in America.

The event that broke the camel’s back was the shooting of Jacob Blake. I couldn’t believe how it happened, shot twelve times, in front of three children. I am sorry, I just cannot fathom how anyone could be that cruel. The cop had his hand on the Jacob’s t-shirt.

Then I also just had to turn off all the politics, it was just tearing apart my mental fabric. I could never be a politician. It seems like you have to lie without blinking an eye.

I even shut down watching my favorite crime show dramas. I could not watch them for it took my focus back to the shooting of Jacob Blake, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, just too many to name them all on this post. If you would like to know their names, their bio, etc., you can visit “Know Their Names“.

All I did these past few days was to watch nothing the caused my brain to hurt. I just watched history style programs, like exploring Egypt, one of my favorite feel good shows is “Little People” on the TLC network.

I feel that I need to take a time out moment to refresh, regenerate my mind from, images, words, news, sounds, basically anything that required my mind to analyse something.

So dear reader I do not feel guilty about taking time out. As I am writing this post I am noticing that my thoughts are flowing freely. Once again I can focus with a laser style precision. If you are feeling mentally full of toxins try taking a time out!

A Reblog: A letter to self on bad mental health days! — FOREVER AWKWARD

Dear self, I know you’re having a tough time today but that’s okay. Not every day is the same. Some days are better than others, and that’s okay. I know that you feel worn out, angry, livid even. You feel like you are unable to control the way you feel and it racks you with […]

via A letter to self on bad mental health days! — FOREVER AWKWARD

Teachable Moments

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“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
― Randy PauschThe Last Lecture

There is something I have learned the hard way, I use my experiences as teachable moments.

I am not sure if I have ever shared this about my daughter as a baby who suffered with colic.  We did everything, I would walk the floor all night long with her.  Finally, someone suggested that it may be the formula doesn’t agree with her.  They recommended switching her to “Carnation” formula.  We did and her colic disappeared.

In Ontario they send a nurse to all families who have newborn children.  Well one morning the nurse dropped in, I was asleep in the bedroom.  I began to hear the nurse’s voice in a scolding manner towards my wife.  I got out of bed to see what was happening.  My wife mentioned to the nurse about switching the baby’s formula. She was threatening all kinds of things towards us.  Back then I could get very vocal and forceful. I asked the nurse how many children she had raised, the reply came back, “none”. I proceeded to tell her that my grandmother raised seven children with it, my mother raised five children. I told her it was good enough for them, it is good enough for my daughter. Case closed.  The nurse left and never stopped in again.

What I write on this blog is how I have reacted with many of my experiences in life.  I never recommend anything that someone should follow.  Experiences are not one size fits all.

So dear reader the motive behind my posts are usually based on some experience in my life, not a text book! Experiences can be used as teachable moments!

Walking In Your Shoes

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Barack Obama

“My third piece of advice is to cultivate a sense of empathy – to put yourself in other people’s shoes – to see the world from their eyes. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.”

For this post I want to flip the idiom “walk a mile in my shoes” to “walk a mile in your shoes”.

I would like to ask you a question, what would I learn if I were to lace up in your shoes?

Would I:

  • learn that you dread getting out of bed in the morning
  • that even with taking meds your depression is still hanging there
  • maybe how you think that nobody truly understands what you are struggling with
  • or that sometimes you fantasize about killing yourself 
  • those troublesome times when you just cannot concentrate on one thing for any length of time
  • how you have panic attacks just thinking about leaving your home
  • that between paying for your meds and therapy you have a hard time managing your other obligations

There are probably a myriad of other things I could learn if I were to walk for some time in your shoes. I just mentioned the ones that came to my mind at the time of writing this post.

So dear reader, if I could walk a mile in those shoes of yours would I have a better sense of what your life is truly like?

A Re-blog: Sitting with my Mental Illness. (A Fresh Examination). — DWalksZen – A Meditation Journal

So a week has passed and it is blog day. I updated the mindful commandments and a modified excerpt from my journal is here: Core feelings So, later I will see that realisations, I call ‘antidotes’ can treat my core feelings, if I acknowledge them for the first time, every time so that mental blockage […]

via Sitting with my Mental Illness. (A Fresh Examination). — DWalksZen – A Meditation Journal

Keeping It Fresh

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Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

“In order to become a reflective, autonomous and self-mentoring individual, one has to continuously learn from people, experiences and new ideas.”
― Dr Prem Jagyasi

Over the past while I have been finding it difficult in presenting fresh thoughts. I have sat many times to write and found myself starting to repeat a thought that I have already written about.

I am sure my well of thoughts has not gone dry, I just need to find a new way to prime the pump.

I have always thought if I want you, the reader, to keep coming back to read a new post that I have written, it needs to be fresh and also relevant.

I have had many ideas for subjects, I use Google, news headlines, searched tags, searched posts, only to wind up with zilch.

I try not to ever write about something that I have no knowledge of the subject, example; women and depression.

So dear reader, if you have any thoughts or ideas for subjects please leave me a note in the comments section below.

Prescriptions And Blood Tests

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I thought for this post a brief alert.  I have suffered with blood clots in the past and it is for that reason I take Warfarin.  It requires frequent blood tests, preferably monthly.  

The blood test is called I.N.R, it tests for the clotting factor within the blood. Yesterday I had blood work done.  The results were expected due to the fact I have been on some new prescriptions.  It was a very high number, normal rate they like to see is around 2.5. Mine was 4+, so adjustments had to be made to my daily regiment of Warfarin.

I am writing this post to bring attention to those who take prescriptions, who need blood tests.  If your blood work is coming back with strange results maybe you should speak with your physician so that he can adjust your regiment of medications.

When I was first put on Warfarin over ten years ago I did not understand the correlation between Warfarin and the I.N.R. For more information about I.N.R   you can find it here: Health Direct

A short description is this: An INR test measures the time for your blood to clot. It is also known as prothrombin time, or PT. It is used to monitor blood-thinning medicines, which are also known as anticoagulants. The INR, or international normalised ratio, can also be used to check if you have a blood clotting problem.

So dear reader from my experience prescription medicines can affect blood tests. Do not be alarmed, speak to your physician and your pharmacist!

Men And Depression

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I am using information from National Institute Of Mental Health

There will be several posts that I will post with the source mentioned above.


Introduction

Men and women both experience depression but their symptoms can be very different. Because men who are depressed may appear to be angry or aggressive instead of sad, their families, friends, and even their doctors may not always recognize the anger or aggression as depression symptoms. In addition, men are less likely than women to recognize, talk about, and seek treatment for depression. Yet depression affects a large number of men.

What is depression?

Everyone feels sad or irritable and has trouble sleeping once in a while. But these feelings and troubles usually pass after a couple of days. Depression is a common but serious mood disorder that may cause severe symptoms. Depression affects the ability to feel, think, and handle daily activities. Also known as major depressive disorder or clinical depression, a man must have symptoms for at least two weeks to be diagnosed with depression.

Both men and women get depression but their willingness to talk about their feelings may be very different. This is one of the reasons that depression symptoms for men and women may be very different as well.

For example, some men with depression hide their emotions and may seem to be angry, irritable, or aggressive while many women seem sad or express sadness. Men with depression may feel very tired and lose interest in work, family, or hobbies. They may be more likely to have difficulty sleeping than women who have depression. Sometimes mental health symptoms appear to be physical issues. For example, a racing heart, tightening chest, ongoing headaches, or digestive issues can be signs of a mental health problem. Many men are more likely to see their doctor about physical symptoms than emotional symptoms.

Some men may turn to drugs or alcohol to try to cope with their emotional symptoms. Also, while women with depression are more likely to attempt suicide, men are more likely to die by suicide because they tend to use more lethal methods.

Depression can affect any man at any age. With the right treatment, most men with depression can get better and gain back their interest in work, family, and hobbies.

“My daily routine was shot. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I got up because the dog had to be walked and my wife needed to go to work. The day would go by and I didn’t know where it went. I wanted to get back to normal. I just wanted to be myself again.”
—Jimmy, Firefighter

Normal!

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“I didn’t want normal until I didn’t have it anymore”
― Maggie Stiefvater,Lament: The Faerie Queen’s Deception

Mystery Blogger Award

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I would like to say thank you to Cherie at Chateau Cherie   for nominating me for the Mystery Blogger Award. Her blog focuses on Bullying. If you have never read any posts by Cherie I would encourage you to check her blog out.

Also, to the creator The Mystery Blogger Award, James A, Best.

…Doing what it takes to pull you into each and every blog is something I take serious and respect your time to read what I write. Most of the time I admit to knowing what story I want to put forward for your eyes to swallow up whole. Those experiences were the most fulfilling for me. Each word just tumbled out of my mind and soul. It was weird in a way like I had actually went through my fictional blog.

The Mystery Blogger Award Rules :

1. Put the award logo on your blog.

2.Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog.
James A. Best- Author

3.mention the creator of the award and write his words out.

4. Answer the five questions you were asked.

5.Tell the readers three things about yourself.

6.Nominate 10 to 20 Bloggers for this award.

7. Notify your Nominees by commenting on any of their blog posts.

8.Ask your nominees five questions with one weird or funny one.

9. Share a link back to your best posts.

 

My 5 Questions for my Nominees :

1.What is your favorite past time ?

2. What is your favorite book to read ? Why ?

3. Who do you think will out smart the other the Road Runner or Daffy Duck ?

4. What would you be doing on a rainy day ?

5. What is your favorite type of music to listen to ?

6.  What advice would you give to someone new to the WordPress community?

My Nominees are:

  1. https://getthemysteriousblogger.com/
  2. https://passcodelove.com/
  3. Peter Springer @: https://petespringerauthor.wordpress.com/
  4. Mark Wester @:  https://over-coming-ocd.com/
  5. Ashley L. Peterson @: https://mentalhealthathome.org/
  6. Leola Durant @:  https://leoladurant.com/
  7. https://consideringthebible.com/
  8. Vincent Ehindero @:  https://vincentehindero.wordpress.com/
  9. Bella @https://bellasbabbles.com/
  10. Vee @: https://millenniallifecrisis.org/

 

Use To Your Own Detriment!

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“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”
― Coretta Scott King

I have a relative that must take baths in hate.  A grievance collector that never forgets who did what, who said what.  Revenge is something that this person give constant thought of how to go about it.


“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Mark Twain


It is my understanding that the person suffers from other ailments, digestion being the major one.

I have another relative that was having stomach troubles, had to get a prescription to stop the pain after eating. The relative went to see a specialist, the first thing he asked, “what is eating you”? Notice he did not want to know what they were eating.  It was true that the person was harboring ill feelings towards someone who had wronged them.

I learned a long time ago that it does nothing to hold extreme hatred or anger over what someone has done to them.  When I have been wronged I just move on.  Now do not misunderstand, I do get angry sometimes, but I do not give it free space within my mind.


“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”
― Shannon L. Alder


My father and I were never close, I really do not have any fond memories about him with me.  He had anger issues and when triggered it could get physical, usually I ended up being the punching bag.

In around 1980 I had just started travelling with the evangelist, we were in a Christian TV studio holding a crusade in Detroit, Michigan.  One afternoon my father showed up to a meeting. 

After the meeting he asked if we could go for coffee.  I agreed hoping that maybe something new would happen between us.  We ended up in a mall walking around and talking.  I spotted a Music store that had pianos, organs, etc.,. I told my father, “Watch this“.  I walked over to a digital piano that was on display outside of the store door.  I turned it on and started to play it.  A crowd started to gather, so with glee I continued for awhile.  The store didn’t mind me doing so. I guess they figured that maybe they would end up with some sales.  We then walked away and my dad asked me, “when did you learn to play like that”?  I just smiled on the inside even though I wanted to give a snide remark. 

I have not seen my dad since the late eighties for my own mental health stability.  I do not wish him any harm, nor do I hold any ill feelings towards him.

My way of working through anger may not fit you, the reader.  It is a personal thing that each individual has to wrestle with it in their own way.

So dear reader I hope that maybe something I wrote on this post will give you some ideas on how to manage anger!

Vulnerable

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“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”Crissi Jami

Last night as I was laying in bed the word “Vulnerable” came to my mind.

vul·​ner·​a·​ble | \ ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl  ˈvəl-nər-bəl \

Definition of vulnerable

1capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2open to attack or damage ASSAILABLE vulnerable to criticism
3liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge

I began to mull this over in my mind and several thoughts came into focus.

For most of my adult life I have been very closed to allowing anyone to get to close to me.  I suppose I didn’t want to be hurt, or betrayed. In the past I have been both, hurt and betrayed.

I began to build walls to keep others out, but those same walls kept me from going out. It was like a bird in a cage.  It’s movement is somewhat restricted.

It is terrible to go through life questioning everyone’s motive, distrust becomes a constant companion.

When I started this blog I didn’t write anything about myself, I did not want to make myself a target, I didn’t want to become vulnerable to attacks.

These past couple of years since I began writing about my struggles with mental health issues has been quite a revelation to me.  I purposely made myself vulnerable, I opened my emotions to unknown readers, unknown people. 

I have been amazed because what happened was nothing like the things I was thinking would happen didn’t. What I have found that ninety-nine percent of people are caring, understanding, thoughtful, warm.  I was expecting negativity and instead I received positive.  Becoming vulnerable was something that brought about good.

I truly understand those who are going through emotions about becoming vulnerable, afraid of criticism, mocking, and betrayal.  Opening up by writing in a blog would not be my first choice to present myself as vulnerable.

So dear reader, just maybe open yourself up, make yourself vulnerable, take a chance.  Like in the movie, one line comes to mind, “Baby steps, baby steps”!(What About Bob)

Don’t Worry, They Won’t Bite…lol

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“Sharing will enrich everyone with more knowledge.”
― Ana Monnar

There is one area of blogging I would love to see used more, the comment section.  I love the back and forth that it creates.  Sharing our thoughts openly without worry of being rejected.

I sometimes receive more likes from comments I have made on other’s blogs.  Some comments are light banter, some serious, and some just thoughts about the post I just finished reading.

So dear reader, go ahead, share your thoughts, use that comment section.  Don’t worry they won’t bite!