Today I am happy to say I have reached 500 follows.
I want to say Thank You to everyone of the five hundred one!
These last two years have been a wonderful journey. I have met so many great people, loved all the conversations through these two years.
It is my hope and desire that I will continue to meet more great people in the WordPress Community.
It has been wonderful the encouragement I have received from everyone and for that I am truly grateful!
I am not sure when I first came across Angie’s blog, Mama Coffee Chat, a blog that I found worth following. I would encourage you to stop by and visit her blog. Say hello to her!
About a week ago I contacted her about interviewing her. Below is the interview.
1. On your site you have, “Life in between cold cups of coffee and figuring out who I am.” Can you tell us how much have you decided of who you are?
First, I just want to say that I love that you used the phrase “Decided who I am”. That’s a powerful statement.
I have decided that I am enough. It really doesn’t matter what others think or what they say…I am truly enough. I can have boundaries, and I am strong enough to keep those boundaries in place. I am an awesome friend, I am a great mother to all 3 of my kids, I am a caring and hardworking wife to my husband of 20+ years. I have also decided that I love adventures and meeting new people (although I still enjoy my alone time!) I love testing my fears (within limit) and I love to try new things! It’s part of the adventure! Oh yes, and I’ve also decided I really don’t like cold coffee 🙂
2. Tell us some of what Angie was like growing up.
Wow. That’s a big question to answer. There’s many levels. I was quiet, loved to play on my own. I got along well others of all ages but once play time was over I would gladly (and quickly!) retreat to a corner for alone time again. I always enjoyed school. I was disappointed if I got anything lower than an A. I was a perfectionist. I was a rebellious teen but usually tried to stay out of trouble. Something I didn’t realize until just a couple of years ago is that I was also extremely brave and strong and more responsible than most my age. I was (and AM) a survivor. I lost myself while growing up through all the abuse, like many do.
3. Why did you start blogging?
I originally started so I could share recipes and I hoped it would help me with my mental health. I needed to try and “find” myself again. Re-learn who I am and what I kinds of things I like, not what I’m expected to like.
4. Have you reached your goal from blogging?
Far from it! If I could set a goal and stick to it, it would help. I have many goals and I keep adding to the list, but I have a hard time actually finishing. My mind is always all over the place.
5. Where do you see Angie ten years from now?
Ten years from now things are going to look much different. My youngest will be getting his drivers permit, my oldest will be 20! I hope to be spending more time at the lake in nature. I see myself sitting on the sand by the water reading or drawing (how I miss drawing!) I see myself in a place of better mental health.
6. Which is your favorite genre of reading and why?
My favorite genres by far are Crime-Fiction, Thriller and Psychological Thriller. I have read some great books of all genres, but few are as satisfying as a good crime fiction novel!
7. Which is your favorite genre of music and why?
The answer to this depends on the mood I’m in. I really love classic rock from the 60’s and 70’s. I also listen to Tchaikovsky and Garth Brooks. Barbara Streisand and Pretty Reckless. My favorite bands are Metallica and ACDC but regardless of the mood I’m in, I’m always up for some good ol’ Rock and Roll.
8. Do you have any heroes living or dead?
I don’t have anyone that I would consider a “hero”. Not in the sense of someone to rely on if the world was in chaos or a giant clown spider was taking over the city. In that case, I turn to God. I do have people I look up to and highly respect. There are three people that I can think of off the top of my head that would belong in this category.
9. Why are they your heroes?
My cousin: She keeps me on the right track with my mental health, always a positive “You can do it” attitude. She’s a wonderful mother who almost always manages to guide her children with love and kindness.
Oprah: Despite all she had against her, she came out on top and better in spite of it all.
Princess Diana: An example of a true Princess. She gave her time, her heart and her soul to many people. There are too many reasons to name as to why I look up to her.
10. Why did you choose recipes to blog about?
I chose recipes mainly because I love to bake! I never really learned to bake until after I was married, and my cooking wasn’t anything to write home about either. My meals are always pretty basic because I find I don’t always have the focus to try something elaborate. Maybe once the kids are a bit older. Baking is my creative outlet. Yet it still has to be pretty simple! I share the recipes for those (like me) who don’t have much knowledge in the area and may be a bit scared to try new things. Easy recipes have a higher success rate and therefore will boost your confidence to try something bigger!
11. Do you have a favorite recipe and what is it?
This is a hard one. I’m going to have to say my favorites would be cinnamon buns and whipped shortbread.
I wish to say thank you Dwain, for the opportunity to hear my voice and learn a little about myself as well. For some, these might seem like easy questions, but it has helped me remember why I started my blog and where I was when I began. A couple of the questions made me really have to think about how I wanted to answer. My heroes, my favorite music or books…These are things that were answered FOR me previously and so I needed to really focus on hearing MY voice. It’s hard to see yourself shine through all the tarnish when you come from a childhood of abuse.
Thank you Angie for a wonderful interview!
“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” Glenn Close
One thing that I have learned about living with mental health challenges is that every day is a new test, sometimes a stress test. The only choice it leaves me is to put one foot in front of the other.
There was only so much that group therapy could equip with you. It was great for I learned so many must tools for the challenges of being bi-polar. I consider this WordPress community as one big virtual group session. It has done for me many great things. The ability to be able to talk about my journey to great mental health. Everyone has something to share, an experience that brought them some joy, one who has to vent their feelings over a challenge that they are facing at a particular moment.
This journey leads up mountains, valleys, deserts, across rivers. There are times that the path is blocked by fallen trees, overgrown vegetation, yet still I have to keep moving focusing on reaching my great mental health.
There may be times when I am going to have to ask someone to help along the path, to help keep me upright when the road gets rocky.
When the nights get cold and loneliness tries to creep up on me, I remind myself that if I just hold fast the sun will rise again in the east to warm my spirit. It is also during those nights that I must remember I have passed through others and was successful, that I can do it again.
So dear reader let me take a few moments to say, Thank you! Thank you for being patience and kind during the past few posts where I shared some of my battles, my life, the journey I have been on trying to obtain great mental health!
“Invest time and energy in your well being. Create an atmosphere of emotional safety for yourself.”
― Amy Leigh Mercree
If there is one thing I have learned about surviving depression is that it is on me to maintain my emotional health. I need to spend time, effort, and diligence so that I do not backslide into depression causing me to have to start again.
It is not up to others to make sure that I am taking care. Yes, they can express their concern, asking me how I am doing. Yet, they have no power to twist my arm to invest in my well being.
Some things I have done to invest in my good mental health:
- Admit that I need help, then seek out the help
- Listen to the Physicians, Psychiatrists, Mental Health Nurses
- Also listen to others who also have/or are dealing with depression
- Find safe outlets to have a place to express your feelings, or your thoughts
- I found ways to enhance my mental health. I chose blogging, reading, and when able cooking and baking.
- I have learned to shut out all influences that may trigger the wrong responses that may harm my mental stability
- When I slip/fail I have learned not to stay down, but, get back up and learn from those failures.
- Just keep an open mind to things that I can add to my to-do list that will bring me to my desired outcome.
I cannot tell you, promise, guarantee that what I have done will work for you. These are just some steps that I took to invest in my good mental health.
So dear reader here is what I can guarantee you, the best investment you can ever make is to invest in you!
*** I am still looking for those who would be willing to do an interview. Or maybe you know someone who would be great for an interview. If so please use the Contact Page***
You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Every so often, everyone needs to give themselves a big ol’ bear hug and treat themselves to some TLC. Sean Covey
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/taking-time-quotes
I was mi.a.(missing in action) on purpose. I just needed to shut down, turn off, from all the heaviness happening around the world, especially what is happening in America.
The event that broke the camel’s back was the shooting of Jacob Blake. I couldn’t believe how it happened, shot twelve times, in front of three children. I am sorry, I just cannot fathom how anyone could be that cruel. The cop had his hand on the Jacob’s t-shirt.
Then I also just had to turn off all the politics, it was just tearing apart my mental fabric. I could never be a politician. It seems like you have to lie without blinking an eye.
I even shut down watching my favorite crime show dramas. I could not watch them for it took my focus back to the shooting of Jacob Blake, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, just too many to name them all on this post. If you would like to know their names, their bio, etc., you can visit “Know Their Names“.
All I did these past few days was to watch nothing the caused my brain to hurt. I just watched history style programs, like exploring Egypt, one of my favorite feel good shows is “Little People” on the TLC network.
I feel that I need to take a time out moment to refresh, regenerate my mind from, images, words, news, sounds, basically anything that required my mind to analyse something.
So dear reader I do not feel guilty about taking time out. As I am writing this post I am noticing that my thoughts are flowing freely. Once again I can focus with a laser style precision. If you are feeling mentally full of toxins try taking a time out!
Dear self, I know you’re having a tough time today but that’s okay. Not every day is the same. Some days are better than others, and that’s okay. I know that you feel worn out, angry, livid even. You feel like you are unable to control the way you feel and it racks you with […]
“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
There is something I have learned the hard way, I use my experiences as teachable moments.
I am not sure if I have ever shared this about my daughter as a baby who suffered with colic. We did everything, I would walk the floor all night long with her. Finally, someone suggested that it may be the formula doesn’t agree with her. They recommended switching her to “Carnation” formula. We did and her colic disappeared.
In Ontario they send a nurse to all families who have newborn children. Well one morning the nurse dropped in, I was asleep in the bedroom. I began to hear the nurse’s voice in a scolding manner towards my wife. I got out of bed to see what was happening. My wife mentioned to the nurse about switching the baby’s formula. She was threatening all kinds of things towards us. Back then I could get very vocal and forceful. I asked the nurse how many children she had raised, the reply came back, “none”. I proceeded to tell her that my grandmother raised seven children with it, my mother raised five children. I told her it was good enough for them, it is good enough for my daughter. Case closed. The nurse left and never stopped in again.
What I write on this blog is how I have reacted with many of my experiences in life. I never recommend anything that someone should follow. Experiences are not one size fits all.
So dear reader the motive behind my posts are usually based on some experience in my life, not a text book! Experiences can be used as teachable moments!
“My third piece of advice is to cultivate a sense of empathy – to put yourself in other people’s shoes – to see the world from their eyes. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.”
For this post I want to flip the idiom “walk a mile in my shoes” to “walk a mile in your shoes”.
I would like to ask you a question, what would I learn if I were to lace up in your shoes?
- learn that you dread getting out of bed in the morning
- that even with taking meds your depression is still hanging there
- maybe how you think that nobody truly understands what you are struggling with
- or that sometimes you fantasize about killing yourself
- those troublesome times when you just cannot concentrate on one thing for any length of time
- how you have panic attacks just thinking about leaving your home
- that between paying for your meds and therapy you have a hard time managing your other obligations
There are probably a myriad of other things I could learn if I were to walk for some time in your shoes. I just mentioned the ones that came to my mind at the time of writing this post.
So dear reader, if I could walk a mile in those shoes of yours would I have a better sense of what your life is truly like?
So a week has passed and it is blog day. I updated the mindful commandments and a modified excerpt from my journal is here: Core feelings So, later I will see that realisations, I call ‘antidotes’ can treat my core feelings, if I acknowledge them for the first time, every time so that mental blockage […]
“In order to become a reflective, autonomous and self-mentoring individual, one has to continuously learn from people, experiences and new ideas.”
Over the past while I have been finding it difficult in presenting fresh thoughts. I have sat many times to write and found myself starting to repeat a thought that I have already written about.
I am sure my well of thoughts has not gone dry, I just need to find a new way to prime the pump.
I have always thought if I want you, the reader, to keep coming back to read a new post that I have written, it needs to be fresh and also relevant.
I have had many ideas for subjects, I use Google, news headlines, searched tags, searched posts, only to wind up with zilch.
I try not to ever write about something that I have no knowledge of the subject, example; women and depression.
So dear reader, if you have any thoughts or ideas for subjects please leave me a note in the comments section below.
I thought for this post a brief alert. I have suffered with blood clots in the past and it is for that reason I take Warfarin. It requires frequent blood tests, preferably monthly.
The blood test is called I.N.R, it tests for the clotting factor within the blood. Yesterday I had blood work done. The results were expected due to the fact I have been on some new prescriptions. It was a very high number, normal rate they like to see is around 2.5. Mine was 4+, so adjustments had to be made to my daily regiment of Warfarin.
I am writing this post to bring attention to those who take prescriptions, who need blood tests. If your blood work is coming back with strange results maybe you should speak with your physician so that he can adjust your regiment of medications.
When I was first put on Warfarin over ten years ago I did not understand the correlation between Warfarin and the I.N.R. For more information about I.N.R you can find it here: Health Direct
A short description is this: An INR test measures the time for your blood to clot. It is also known as prothrombin time, or PT. It is used to monitor blood-thinning medicines, which are also known as anticoagulants. The INR, or international normalised ratio, can also be used to check if you have a blood clotting problem.
So dear reader from my experience prescription medicines can affect blood tests. Do not be alarmed, speak to your physician and your pharmacist!
I am using information from National Institute Of Mental Health
There will be several posts that I will post with the source mentioned above.
Men and women both experience depression but their symptoms can be very different. Because men who are depressed may appear to be angry or aggressive instead of sad, their families, friends, and even their doctors may not always recognize the anger or aggression as depression symptoms. In addition, men are less likely than women to recognize, talk about, and seek treatment for depression. Yet depression affects a large number of men.
What is depression?
Everyone feels sad or irritable and has trouble sleeping once in a while. But these feelings and troubles usually pass after a couple of days. Depression is a common but serious mood disorder that may cause severe symptoms. Depression affects the ability to feel, think, and handle daily activities. Also known as major depressive disorder or clinical depression, a man must have symptoms for at least two weeks to be diagnosed with depression.
Both men and women get depression but their willingness to talk about their feelings may be very different. This is one of the reasons that depression symptoms for men and women may be very different as well.
For example, some men with depression hide their emotions and may seem to be angry, irritable, or aggressive while many women seem sad or express sadness. Men with depression may feel very tired and lose interest in work, family, or hobbies. They may be more likely to have difficulty sleeping than women who have depression. Sometimes mental health symptoms appear to be physical issues. For example, a racing heart, tightening chest, ongoing headaches, or digestive issues can be signs of a mental health problem. Many men are more likely to see their doctor about physical symptoms than emotional symptoms.
Some men may turn to drugs or alcohol to try to cope with their emotional symptoms. Also, while women with depression are more likely to attempt suicide, men are more likely to die by suicide because they tend to use more lethal methods.
Depression can affect any man at any age. With the right treatment, most men with depression can get better and gain back their interest in work, family, and hobbies.
“My daily routine was shot. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I got up because the dog had to be walked and my wife needed to go to work. The day would go by and I didn’t know where it went. I wanted to get back to normal. I just wanted to be myself again.”
“I didn’t want normal until I didn’t have it anymore”
Normal – definition,
adjectiveconforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural;serving to establish a standard.
- approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.
- free from any mental disorder; sane.
1.the usual, average, or typical state or condition.
“her temperature was above normal“
I could ask one hundred people what they think ‘normal’ is. I probably have one hundred different answers. The answers probably based on culture, status in life, gender, etc.,
I was asking that question about myself, what is ‘normal’ for me. Looking back my life was a emotional roller coaster. I was not a happy person, yes, I had moments of happiness, but they were just a snapshot in my life.
I dropped out of school, went to work until an itinerant preacher asked me to travel as an organist. I felt happy most of the time travelling around Canada and the States. Yet my volcanic mood swings would almost tear up any of my relationships.
I tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. My life was shattered with no purpose, at least that is how I felt. This was my first experience of being admitted to a Mental Health ward. The only thing I remember about that ordeal was the movie they showed us, “What About Bob”. The lesson they wanted us to take away from it was in recovery you have to take ‘Baby Steps’.
Then another blow that happened was the death of my mother in 2000. I kept my self control during the whole matter. Then another hit to my mental weakness was the death of my grandmother. All those things culminated in another suicide attempt.
That triggered another of many stays in the Mental Health Ward in the local hospital. I learned many things about myself. About ‘Bi-Polar’, ‘manic depression’, and many other aspects of being ‘Bi-Polar’.
I have been on meds now for over ten years and I am stable. No more wild mood swings, harmful thoughts, no more eruptions of anger. Life now is stable, I am for the most part very happy, there are several factors for this, my very best friend, my daughter, and three grandchildren
So dear reader, I do not want to go back to the way life was before treatment. The life I have now is what I call “normal”.
I would like to say thank you to Cherie at Chateau Cherie for nominating me for the Mystery Blogger Award. Her blog focuses on Bullying. If you have never read any posts by Cherie I would encourage you to check her blog out.
Also, to the creator The Mystery Blogger Award, James A, Best.
…Doing what it takes to pull you into each and every blog is something I take serious and respect your time to read what I write. Most of the time I admit to knowing what story I want to put forward for your eyes to swallow up whole. Those experiences were the most fulfilling for me. Each word just tumbled out of my mind and soul. It was weird in a way like I had actually went through my fictional blog.
The Mystery Blogger Award Rules :
1. Put the award logo on your blog.
2.Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog.
James A. Best- Author
3.mention the creator of the award and write his words out.
4. Answer the five questions you were asked.
5.Tell the readers three things about yourself.
6.Nominate 10 to 20 Bloggers for this award.
7. Notify your Nominees by commenting on any of their blog posts.
8.Ask your nominees five questions with one weird or funny one.
9. Share a link back to your best posts.
My 5 Questions for my Nominees :
1.What is your favorite past time ?
2. What is your favorite book to read ? Why ?
3. Who do you think will out smart the other the Road Runner or Daffy Duck ?
4. What would you be doing on a rainy day ?
5. What is your favorite type of music to listen to ?
6. What advice would you give to someone new to the WordPress community?
My Nominees are:
- Peter Springer @: https://petespringerauthor.wordpress.com/
- Mark Wester @: https://over-coming-ocd.com/
- Ashley L. Peterson @: https://mentalhealthathome.org/
- Leola Durant @: https://leoladurant.com/
- Vincent Ehindero @: https://vincentehindero.wordpress.com/
- Bella @: https://bellasbabbles.com/
- Vee @: https://millenniallifecrisis.org/
“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”
I have a relative that must take baths in hate. A grievance collector that never forgets who did what, who said what. Revenge is something that this person give constant thought of how to go about it.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
It is my understanding that the person suffers from other ailments, digestion being the major one.
I have another relative that was having stomach troubles, had to get a prescription to stop the pain after eating. The relative went to see a specialist, the first thing he asked, “what is eating you”? Notice he did not want to know what they were eating. It was true that the person was harboring ill feelings towards someone who had wronged them.
I learned a long time ago that it does nothing to hold extreme hatred or anger over what someone has done to them. When I have been wronged I just move on. Now do not misunderstand, I do get angry sometimes, but I do not give it free space within my mind.
“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”
My father and I were never close, I really do not have any fond memories about him with me. He had anger issues and when triggered it could get physical, usually I ended up being the punching bag.
In around 1980 I had just started travelling with the evangelist, we were in a Christian TV studio holding a crusade in Detroit, Michigan. One afternoon my father showed up to a meeting.
After the meeting he asked if we could go for coffee. I agreed hoping that maybe something new would happen between us. We ended up in a mall walking around and talking. I spotted a Music store that had pianos, organs, etc.,. I told my father, “Watch this“. I walked over to a digital piano that was on display outside of the store door. I turned it on and started to play it. A crowd started to gather, so with glee I continued for awhile. The store didn’t mind me doing so. I guess they figured that maybe they would end up with some sales. We then walked away and my dad asked me, “when did you learn to play like that”? I just smiled on the inside even though I wanted to give a snide remark.
I have not seen my dad since the late eighties for my own mental health stability. I do not wish him any harm, nor do I hold any ill feelings towards him.
My way of working through anger may not fit you, the reader. It is a personal thing that each individual has to wrestle with it in their own way.
So dear reader I hope that maybe something I wrote on this post will give you some ideas on how to manage anger!
“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” – Crissi Jami
Last night as I was laying in bed the word “Vulnerable” came to my mind.
To save this word, you’ll need to log in.Log Invul·ner·a·ble | \ ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl , ˈvəl-nər-bəl \
Definition of vulnerable1: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded2: open to attack or damage : ASSAILABLE vulnerable to criticism3: liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge
I began to mull this over in my mind and several thoughts came into focus.
For most of my adult life I have been very closed to allowing anyone to get to close to me. I suppose I didn’t want to be hurt, or betrayed. In the past I have been both, hurt and betrayed.
I began to build walls to keep others out, but those same walls kept me from going out. It was like a bird in a cage. It’s movement is somewhat restricted.
It is terrible to go through life questioning everyone’s motive, distrust becomes a constant companion.
When I started this blog I didn’t write anything about myself, I did not want to make myself a target, I didn’t want to become vulnerable to attacks.
These past couple of years since I began writing about my struggles with mental health issues has been quite a revelation to me. I purposely made myself vulnerable, I opened my emotions to unknown readers, unknown people.
I have been amazed because what happened was nothing like the things I was thinking would happen didn’t. What I have found that ninety-nine percent of people are caring, understanding, thoughtful, warm. I was expecting negativity and instead I received positive. Becoming vulnerable was something that brought about good.
I truly understand those who are going through emotions about becoming vulnerable, afraid of criticism, mocking, and betrayal. Opening up by writing in a blog would not be my first choice to present myself as vulnerable.
So dear reader, just maybe open yourself up, make yourself vulnerable, take a chance. Like in the movie, one line comes to mind, “Baby steps, baby steps”!(What About Bob)
“Sharing will enrich everyone with more knowledge.”
There is one area of blogging I would love to see used more, the comment section. I love the back and forth that it creates. Sharing our thoughts openly without worry of being rejected.
I sometimes receive more likes from comments I have made on other’s blogs. Some comments are light banter, some serious, and some just thoughts about the post I just finished reading.
So dear reader, go ahead, share your thoughts, use that comment section. Don’t worry they won’t bite!
A blog is the unedited voice of a person.
The lack of editing is central, because it’s one person who’s responsible for every word. When you click the Publish button you should feel butterflies, at least sometimes, because there’s no one to pass the buck to. If someone else wrote the headline, or did a copy edit, or even reviewed what you wrote and critiqued it before it went out, it’s still writing, but it is not a blog. Dan Kennedy – Medium.com
I believe I was living in Kitchener, Ontario when I saw an advertisement about looking for people who are interested in being on radio, etc., This was still in the age of Commodore 64. I answered the ad and they setup an interview with me to do a test with radio script. They told me I had the right type of voice to do radio.
Everyone once in awhile I look at the idea of doing some type of podcast, an internet radio station like what Shoutcast offers.
Just over two years ago this blog was barely breathing, I was thinking about just closing out the account. I am not really sure how I came to start writing about my struggles with my mental health. So I started to write about my journey. It went slow for quite some time, but then I started to see some movement with the blog. I was totally flabbergasted on how it started to go. I knew nothing about “Categories and Tags”, then somehow I connected with V. She was gracious and explained how they worked.
I have often thought that being a true journalist would be a great career, I had the English credits on my High School transcript. I love reading, yet I really never thought of myself as a great writer. I am starting to notice a difference with my writing. I believe it is because writing is like a muscle, it needs to be used, strengthened.
So dear reader, this blogger is a wannabe journalist. It is you who gives me wind to continue writing on this blog!
“Respect other people’s feelings. It might mean nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.”―
My mother, God bless her, did something that was probably different than others. She allowed us to have opinions, but no attitudes. This was a great blessing for we became even closer as I grew into an adult. My mother and myself talked about almost everything. We both were open with our thoughts. What she did was she made it safe for her children to talk to her.
I have taken a page from her when it comes to my daughter and slowly with the grandchildren. I want them to know that I will create a safe place for them to express their feelings, again, no attitude.
I probably can make a safe guess that for some they do not have a safe place to express themselves. Fear is probably causing them to hide theirs. Others are afraid that they will be betrayed. It truly is a high wire act trying to find a balance in your life.
It has taken myself a really long time to feel safe in my expression of feelings. Betrayal has happened to me, so I am hesitant at times in being open with my expressions.
So dear reader, I will repeat the quote above in closing.
“Respect other people’s feelings. It might mean nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.”― Roy Bennett
Panic Attacks And Anxiety Disorder Many people ask me how I cured my panic attacks and anxiety disorder naturally. I am going on one year now of being completely panic free. I am always willing to share my information freely. My only hope is to reach others in need of help and information on panic…
No matter who we are, no matter what our circumstances, our feelings and emotions are universal.
In the recent past I have thought “wouldn’t it be nice to turn off my feelings”. The reason I say that is for this reason, sometimes I find myself getting so upset over some things people say in the news. My best friend constantly tells me “don’t let it bother you”.
Being stripped of feelings would basically reduce myself to the level of a computerized robot. I certainly wouldn’t enjoy life it that were the case.
My feelings lets me understand the feelings of others, when someone says they were crying I can relate to that because I have cried. Feelings gives me a level beyond just my brain and body.
Maybe, in some areas I may be overly sensitive towards certain things, for me I consider that is the factor that makes my life unique. Like wanting to adopt every stray dog in the world. Or when I see a baby, brings back the memories of holding my own daughter the day she was born.
The down side of my feelings is that sometimes I allow negative feelings overtake me to go over the edge into depression. I need to work more aggressively on that section of my feelings. Need to learn how to quickly replace the negatives with positives.
So, my objective each day is to do my level best not to allow the negatives overwhelm me!
“I started feeling afraid of my own body, like it was a torture chamber I’d been trapped inside.”
I have had severe problems with my back since I was in my teens. It would come and go, so I didn’t really feel to curb my activities.
Then in 1987 I was a passenger on a motor bike. The driver on an August day ran into the back of a car. The impact sent me hurling through the air to land on my butt. The results were I tore all the ligaments away from my spine.
So, with that I have had prescribed at one time or another some strong painkillers, such as, morphine, Oxycontin, and fentanyl patch.
Now mix in being bi-polar, this was before diagnosis, and I was a total sorry person. There were nights where I didn’t sleep at all, days where I was totally buzzed on painkillers, so bad, that I couldn’t remember what I ate the night before. Conversations took place where I didn’t remember them either.
Eventually I land in the Mental Health Ward for severe depression. I learned on that visit that I was bi-polar. That was step one.
It became a red alert with the painkillers. I spoke with my family doctor and my Psychiatrist about coming off all the narcotics. They told me I could do it from home or go through it while admitted. I chose the latter. That was step two.
I am in constant pain, this is something I have seldom wrote about on this blog. I feel it could be helpful maybe for someone who is experiencing chronic pain.
So, I am not sure what to call it when you mix pain and depression. Whatever the term would be, I just try to survive one day at a time!
If you’re impatient while waiting for the bus, tell yourself you’re doing ‘Bus waiting meditation.’ If you’re standing in a slow line at the drugstore, you’re doing ‘Waiting in line meditation.’ Just saying these words makes me feel very spiritual and high-minded and wise.
I spoke with my aunt today, we talking about different things when shopping for groceries came up. She told me that she went to go shopping and the line was longer than the building. She just turned around and went home, had her son do the shopping for her.
I know that in certain stores where I live limit the number of people who go in. Tomorrow I plan on doing grocery shopping. I will go at the early hour that is only for seniors to avoid lineups.
If I thought that there was going to be a lineup like the one my aunt experienced I just may turn around and head for home. There are times I can be impatient, so I hope that this will not be the case when shopping. Lineups like those on Boxing Day I try to avoid. I tried to shop one Boxing Day, I have never tried to do that again.
So, this is one shopper that will be praying for patience when shopping!
“Being under stress is like being stranded in a body of water. If you panic, it will cause you to flail around so that the water rushes into your lungs and creates further distress. Yet, by calmly collecting yourself and using controlled breathing you remain afloat with ease.”
I know, it is easy and almost a cop-out to tell someone “Don’t Panic”. For something that this writer doesn’t understand but by telling a person that it seems to heighten their panic.
Along with panic there is a close relative emotion that tags along, frustration. It is almost unavoidable these days not to feel frustration, not to panic realizing that the rent is due this week.
Now mix in insomnia and you have a disaster looking for a place to happen. Trying to force yourself to go to sleep in the meanwhile images of all the bills that need to be paid but the bank account tells you that you are overdrawn.
No matter who you speak with you can definitely hear the frustration and panic in their voice. A neighbor is somewhat like me, not going out in hesitation worrying about covid-19.
Yet, I need to go grocery shopping this week so that the cupboards do not start looking bare. At least if I go to the big “W” I can go during the first hour that is reserved for seniors, or those who have compromised immune systems. I won’t decide until the very last minute whether I go or have my best friend do my shopping.
So, I all can do in this time and space is to tell myself “Don’t Panic”!