Myths About Mental Illness

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” Glenn Close


According to the Canadian Mental Health Association they list ten common myths. I am going to some posts about each of those myths.

Here is the list:

Myth # 1 – Mental illnesses aren’t real illnesses

Myth # 2 – Mental Illnesses will never affect me.

Myth # 3 – Mental Illnesses are just excuses for poor behaviour.

Myth # 4 – Bad parenting causes mental illnesses.

Myth # 5 – People with mental illnesses are violent and dangerous.

Myth # 6 – People don’t recover from mental illnesses.

Myth # 7 – People who experience mental illnesses are weak and can’t handle stress.

Myth # 8 – People who experience mental illnesses can’t work.

Myth # 9 – Kids can’t have a mental illness like depression. Those are adult problems.

Myth # 10 – Everyone gets depressed as they grow older. It’s just part of the aging process.


Over the course of looking into the facts about each and every myth let’s have a conversation about mental illnesses and the myths that are floating around the subject.

So dear reader along with this series I am still looking into the Suicide Myths. I hope you will join the conversation!

Three Top Posts

For this post I have decided to share three posts that many have liked over time.

For some of you these posts are new, for others you may remember them. If not, take time to read them.

As always take some time to visit the other blogger’s. You will find so much fine written posts. Posts covering a multitude of issues.

ENJOY!


The Interview With Mental @ Home

Excerpt:

  1.  Apart from your bio on your blog what is something that maybe others would love to learn about you? 

I’ve shown some of this in blog posts, but I did a lot of travelling in my 20s and 30s.  I’ve been to 4 continents besides my own, and I’ve been to 37 countries, if I recall correctly.

Read more at: The Interview With Mental @ Home

You can read Ashley L. Peterson’s Post at: Mental Health & Home


First Guest Post: Letter To Self #MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS

Excerpt:

Letter To A Depressed Self

Dear Self,

So, this is depression.

This is complete and utter, downright sadness day in and day out.

This is heartbreak and heartache and consistent anxiety about everything that happens.

So this is the new normal. This is what I get. This is who I am now. I’ve tried to hide from it for a long time, but the truth is, running has done me no favors.

Read more: First Guest Post: Letter To Self #MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS

You can read more of Vee’s posts at: Millennial Life Forces


Mental Health & Finances

Excerpt:

I feel everyone reading this will relate to parts of what I am about to write. Why, because money is the one area of our life that can either make life easy, or it can enslave us till our death.

Read more: Mental Health & Finances

You can read more of my posts at: rts-Facing the Challenges of Mental Health


The Interview- Overcoming OCD – Mark Wester

Excerpt:

Mark for the readers and myself tell us something about yourself that is not on your blog.

I have been telling a lot about myself on my blog so it’s actually pretty difficult to think of something that’s worth mentioning and that I have never talked about but let me try. I was raised in a very multicultural family – I am of Hungarian, Romanian, German and Jewish origin – and I think it’s because of my family background that I love learning foreign languages and I am addicted to traveling. I have been to most of European countries and my dream is to travel the whole world – obviously, only when the pandemic is over.

Read more: The Interview – Overcoming OCD – Mark Wester

You can read more of Mark’s posts at: Overcoming Ocd


I Can Handle This

 “Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” — Joshua J. Marine”


In the late eighties I was a passenger on a motor bike going home from work. It was a bright August day in Ontario, Canada when the driver rear ended the car in front of us. The impact sent me flying causing me to land on my backside. I couldn’t move and I probably would have been hit by the cars passing by on the highway, but an ambulance stopped to help get me to the side of the road. Another one came placed me on a backboard to transport me to the hospital.

After the usual tests, x-rays and such I was admitted and taken to my room. I really do not remember much of the first night, but on the next morning a nurse was coming into the room with a tray of things. I moved to look at her, I shocked her and she dropped the tray. I asked her what was the matter. She said, “Mr. Bourne I just came from report and it says that you would be a quadra paraplegic”. When the physician came by he explained to me about my back, he told me that everything was ripped away from my spine. He also was amazed that I was moving around.

I told that to say this, it is a scary time again around here the positivity rate of Covid-19 is on the rise. Governments are trying to get a grip on things. I haven’t left my house lately not even for a doctor’s appointment.

I been thinking about an upcoming surgery for a hip replacement. At times I get concerned about it, questions coming to mind, like, “will I be able to walk afterwards?”. Things like that, things for the most part will never happen, so really there is no need to fuss about it.

Faced with a myriad of things sometimes it is difficult to find something positive to fixate on. Bad news seems to permeate from all corners of the world, not much good news out there. Oh, yes, sometimes there may be a story of human interest that makes me feel warm inside, but, they are few and far in between.

So dear reader, I remind myself I have been through some very tough times and lived to tell it about it. So, I will once again make it through to the other end of the tunnel.

I leave you with a final thought. Anne Murray sang a song some time back, “A Little Good News Today”. I have included it here. Hope you enjoy it! It is needed at this time!

Ode To Depression

Reader, I am trying something for the first time. I am not sure what to call it, so I will just call it a form of poetry.


It’s there peeking around every corner,

Waiting for an invite to be my buddy again

I remember the feeling,

Allowing me to wallow in self pity

With power to make it vanish,

Red pill, blue pill, yellow pill, thrown in my mouth

With water to chase them back

Like the wicked witch these pills scream,

“I’m drowning, I’m drowning…”

So with that said,

I will close with this,

Good bye my old friend, good bye!

© d. m. bourne

Choices, Which Way Turn Right?


“Every test in our life makes us bitter or better, every problem comes to break us or make us. The choice is ours whether we become victim or victor.” Anonymous


For as long as I can remember I have always made choices in haste. The results on the better part of the percentage was that it was the choice. Those wrong choices caused me to spend unnecessary time and effort working to correct them.

Try as I might I have leaned towards the pessimistic side of every equation. I could blame it on my upbringing, maybe low self-esteem, but it was a matter that being a pessimist looked to be easier, the safest bet to make. The other side being a optimist looked like it would need hard work if I chose going in that direction. I can look back and say was I wanted the easy way out.

I have been asking the question lately, could it be a part of fighting as a bi-polar mindset. Here is some of the research I found:


Pessimism

When to be concerned: With depressive pessimism, the negativity a person experiences is exaggerated compared to the reality of the situation. In fact, pessimistic thinking often precedes any specific event. A person may simply think: It’s going to be another bad day.

The negative viewpoint may not be limited to a person’s external perception of the world; it can also be turned inward onto themselves. Someone who is depressed might think thoughts like, No one likes me.

This negativity may also pervade a person’s self-concept or sense of their abilities. For instance, they may look at a Help Wanted ad and think: There’s no point in applying for that job—I would never get it.

When someone is depressed their perspective on how the world is, as well as who they are, is impaired by negative, often critical, patterns of thought. They may not be able to see (let alone feel) that they have good things in life to look forward to, that people who know them like and care about them, and that they are a capable person who has much to offer.”

https://www.verywellmind.com/difficult-moods-in-bipolar-depression-379838

It looks like I am not alone in my thinking about pessimism and bipolar are linked together. Now, not everyone who is pessimistic is bipolar. That diagnosis is for a clinician to decide.

I am writing this post for it was a subject I wanted to explore. I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, I will leave it at this.

So dear reader what are your thoughts about this issue?

S.A.D.

 “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” –Robert Louis Stevenson


I am going to be honest in that I am not familiar with S.A.D.{Seasonal Affective Disorder}. However, it is my understanding that it usually will show it’s head in seasons like winter. With the onset of winter coming I thought about this when I woke up this morning.


Here is how The Mayo Clinic speaks about S.A.D.:

Overview

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you’re like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody. Less often, SAD causes depression in the spring or early summer.

Treatment for SAD may include light therapy (phototherapy), medications and psychotherapy.

Don’t brush off that yearly feeling as simply a case of the “winter blues” or a seasonal funk that you have to tough out on your own. Take steps to keep your mood and motivation steady throughout the year.


So dear reader I truly hope that this helps your understanding about S.A.D.{Seasonal Affective Disorder. There are plenty of sites that can give you a deeper understanding of this disorder.

A Re-Blog: 2020 World Mental Health Day — Women & Well Being

World Mental Health Day is celebrated every year on October 10th. It was established October 10, 1992 by Richard Hunter. Hunter was the Deputy Secretary General of the World Federation for Mental Health. The top 5 warning signs: Long term sadness or irritability Extreme high and low mood swings Excessive fear, worry or anxiety Social […]

2020 World Mental Health Day — Women & Well Being

The Interview Moderated by Ashley L. Peterson – A Continuation

Once again I would like to say, “Thank You” to Ashley L. Peterson whose blog is Mental Health @ Home.

This is a continuation of the initial interview by Ashley , you can find it here.

As you read you will find I answer questions at great length, I truly did my best to pull back the curtain on my journey to great mental health.

After you have read the interview use the comment section to ask your own question. When I have enough I will gather them together using a post to answer them.


The Interview

Moderator: Ashley L. Peterson


Continuation

What’s the process been like of establishing views that diverged from the religious beliefs you’d been exposed to?

To put it bluntly, it’s been hell. I dropped all my relationships with fellow ministers, stopped contact with fellow musicians. There was a long time to where I wouldn’t even open the Bible.

I have, still do at times, second guess myself.  Then I read some of the comments that people have left lets me know I am basically on the correct direction.

For instance, the gay life style was preached against, it was taught as a no-no. I now view it this way, they are humans, they walk, talk, pee, poop, the same way all of us do. I started re-visiting this attitude about being against them, I started making friends with those in the LGBTQ community. I still have those friends regardless what some people believe about them.

As life has gone on, has your ability to trust others changed?  What prompted that?

In many ways my trust in people has changed. Here is how I view it, People needed to trust me, some who told me about their sexuality, yet they have not come out. I have kept that trust.

Things really did start changing when I began to change. When I started dealing with all the issues that were at the base of my depression. Feelings of inferiority, shame, loneliness, and a chest full of others. After the death of my grandmother I was fortunate to have a Psychiatrist who showed compassion, actually listened, and started me on a regimen of medications.  Now I consider her a friend, she stopped and talked with me when I had a slight scare that sent me to the hospital for four days.

How has your physical health impacted your mental health and vice versa?

My physical health has impacted my mental health severely. I face it every morning, getting out of bed is usually an exercise dealing with pain in my hip.

I have dealt with pain since my teenage years, it grew worse after a motorcycle accident. That messed up my back for life. It has only been better after two periods of have cortisone shots.

There was a time when I was on different pain killers where they became ineffective. I had to change doctors. He looked at my history, he then said we have to change your medications. He explained to me that many pain killers when taken over a long length of time actually work against the body causing pain. I have later read and heard that this is the case. I take for pain at this time Tylenol 4 and a small derivative of morphine. They basically along with a sleeping pill allow me to have a decent night of sleep.

There are days when I think I should start the process of going to an assisted living facility.  Let me explain, I now have to use a cane, or my walker. It has left me so that many things I would normally do for myself I cannot accomplish. Fear grips me every time I need to use the shower, thoughts about falling breaking a hip courses through my mind.

Also, I am truly thankful for my best friend for he is the one who has prepared my meals. I cannot move well enough to manage pots, pans, etc., I also fear I wouldn’t be able to respond if there would be a grease fire.

Some may have noticed that I read and comment on their blog posts sometimes eighteen hours or longer. It is usually because I cannot sit up at great lengths of time. I start my nighttime routine early. Most nights I am asleep before 9 p.m.

So, it is a back and forth with my physical effecting my mental health, mental health effecting my physical being.

Has your time as a preacher shaped the way you tell your own story now?

This is a great question, one I have never thought about. It probably has, and does shape how I tell my story.

There are parts of my story that at this time grapple with because it involves someone who has died, but, has living relatives. I do not want to cause them any embarrassment or pain. I just have not come to an answer about how to tell that. Even without mentioning names it would be obvious to many friends, colleagues, and relatives if they were to come across this blog.

Also, I must consider at this time my own daughter and grandchildren.

[b] I re-read the first answers of the interview where I can see that how I write seems guarded. I guess it has been a learned response from over many years.

How have your hospital stays influenced where you are now in terms of your mental health?

Before my major stay in a mental health ward I was fighting with being bi-polar without any awareness of the fact.

I am thankful for those times in treatment, the group sessions, the one on one with my Psychiatrist for it gave me tools to fight with. The recognition of the highs, lows, and all the rest that comes with being bi-polar. I also know that if needs arise that I have the ability to go back and voluntarily admit myself. There are so many ugly myths about mental health care, some I think come from the days of sanitariums, probably through the eighteenth and nineteenth century.


So dear reader more of a glimpse on what I call “a journey to great mental health”.

If you are facing battles to keep your mental health great, remember, you are not alone!

Find someone to talk to, whether it is a friend, a help line, or your doctor. Do not suffer alone, there is help available for you! I have located a website that you can access for phone numbers of helplines around the world. It is called Check Point

The Interview Moderated By Ashley L. Peterson of Mental Health At Home


Several days ago I had an idea which I thought might be interesting. The idea; flip the scenario of the interview. The questions would not be posed by me, but, it would be from someone else, the questions would be for me.

So, I needed to find someone to ask if they would help with this project. The person I turned to was Ashley L. Peterson of Mental Health At Home. I contacted her about a week ago to which she agree to help. If you have never visited her blog put it on your things to do list.

So below is the interview. I may revisit the questions to add to it more insight. I have tried to answer the questions with honesty and truthfully.

At this moment I want to say, “Thank you Ashley for Your Help”! I truly appreciate this!


The Interview Moderated By Ashley L. Peterson

Mental Health At Home

Were there things that your blog has allowed you to get out that weren’t able to express before?

There were many things that I could not express before. Some would be looked upon as weakness, short comings, others would be considered non Biblical. Things about gender, sexuality, race.

Did you ever feel it was necessary to mask what was going on inside you?  If so, how did you do that?

Yes, I did wear a mask. The first that held that mask on was a lack of trust. I held many things to myself, not even telling my wives, family, because I learned that familiarity is dangerous. It usually ends up with them turning on you by breaking trust. 

The next thing that I believe that held the mask on was ignorance. Believing what you have been told all of your life, things concerning the Faith. It wasn’t until I finally started my long journey of healing of my mental health that I started to question in earnest what I truly believed. I came to the conclusion that there were many things I felt was wrong, some that really did not have a sure foundation in the Scriptures.

Has there been any form of creative art or expression other than writing that’s been significant for you?  What role did that play if your life?

My whole life has been about the music, it still is. I am thankful that I have a small home organ within my home. It had a fantastic price attached to it, “FREE”. I couldn’t refuse it. When I am totally at whit’s end when possible I sit and will play old hymns and other songs. It usually quiets my mind. There are other times, especially when I need a bit of inspiration, I turn to my iTunes music. One artist is foremost is Michael Bublè, his music is similar to that of Frank Sinatra.

What role has religion played in the course your transition into adulthood and beyond?

I am going to be honest and frank, I have held onto my faith in God, but, I have let go many other things. As I said this journey of healing has been intense. It has caused me to look inward, question everything, search all things, to become honest of who I truly was as a human being. Notice I did not say “person”,  I could be any person, but who am I as a human.

Has your sense of who you are and how you relate to the world changed over time?

The resounding answer is, yes I have changed in relation of discovering who I really am.  I couldn’t see it while I was in the midst of it, but, looking back, even just over two years, I can see change.  I really do not have fear about how people see me. Yes, I hope they see the real me. Yet, I can understand that they may have, like me, trust issues.  That is where true acceptance comes into place. I hope people would respect where I am in my walk of healing, I also hope I can respect others on their walk of healing in obtaining great mental health.

How did mental illness enter your life, and what are some of the ways it affects you?

I look back at my life, especially my teenage years through my early adult years and I can see signs of mental illness already showing itself. My sudden outrage for even the littlest thing, comment, etc., Also, I can recognize the times of mania, and deep depression that inserted itself during those years.

It wasn’t until around 1990 when I started experiencing panic attacks. One time while grocery shopping in an almost empty store I suffered with a severe panic attack. I left the cart in the aisle and ran back to my bachelor apartment a block away. It wasn’t long after that when I attempted my first suicide.

At times it has left me mentally crippled, all my interests seemed to melt away. On the mania times it was almost nonstop activity.

There were many mornings where I would wake up with no memory of the night before. No recollection of conversations, what I ate, what I did like watching television. My best friend would find me passed out in the oddest places, once under my sewing machine. It left him terrified every time he would come into my house in the morning.

What have been some of the most difficult times or circumstances you’ve dealt with in terms of your mental health?

The hardest time of dealing with my mental health condition was the very first time, the time when I woke up in the mental health ward after the attempted suicide. 

I basically stayed to myself, did not interact with others who were also dealing with mental health issues. My memory of it is vague, basically going to the smoking room. There was the first day that they decided that we should watch the movie “Groundhog Day”. I remember, why this, what does it have to do with me getting out of here. Honestly, I still have no answer for that movie.

Has family played a major role for you?  Have there been certain family events that were particularly significant in your life?

Family meant something for me, I should clarify, my maternal family. I was very close to my grandfather and grandmother. I felt more at home there then I did at my parent’s home. I felt accepted there, yet I am glad they were not around in my worst days. I sometimes wonder how they would have reacted.

I only have one blood relative that I am close to, being my maternal aunt. She has always been a part of my life, babysitting, singing, just there. After she goes my connection to that part of family will be gone.

I am now a grandfather of three, my daughter, and those children are now my world. They love talking with me when they are here, they have their heads in the right place. The oldest, my granddaughter, just turned thirteen.

Were there things from your childhood, either positive or negative, that have really stuck with you over time?

There are two things that have stuck with me over time. How I deal with others, growing up in a multi-cultural area it wasn’t a big thing to have friends, acquaintances, from other cultures, etc, Maybe it was because of my mother and grandmother. I never heard an unkind word, slur, put down, to come from their lips. I could take any of my friend’s home or to my grandmother’s knowing they would be accepted without question.

The other would be anger. I decided as a kid that I did not want that in my life. My dad would explode at the slightest slight. It was to the point that I would make excuses when he would ask if I wanted to play a game of Chess. I always said no, I knew if he lost, it just might mean an eruption of anger. If I am around someone who shows anger of that sort I find myself looking for the exit. I can be angry at something, but never to the point where it is physical or emotionally.

Are there life choices you’ve made that you feel grateful for or regret now?

There are probably many things I regret now, only because hindsight is always twenty-twenty. Dropping out of high school, two divorces, not always being there for my daughter while she was growing up. Those are probably the ones that come to the top of my thoughts.

The biggest thing that I can be truly grateful is that I can to the acknowledgment that I needed help, that I sought help, and that I continue to work to achieve great mental health.

The other is that I have learned how a true friend acts. I write about my best friend, twenty plus years. He has been there through my worst. Days where I lashed out at him, times when I would threaten to move away from him. He has been in the room with my family doctor, Psychiatrist, and all other specialists. He also manages my medications, which came about during one of my inpatient times. While at home I was double dosing my Oxycontin medication. So there was an agreement between myself, my doctors, and at that time my Pharmacist, that was back in 2004. He still goes with me to my appointments, sometimes is because my mobility is not at its best, mostly because my short term memory is spotty.


P.S. – That is the interview. Let me say this, I am not done with my journey towards great mental health. There are issues that I am still struggling with, issues that at this time cannot disclose.

If you read this, if you are also on your journey towards great mental health, let me give you a word of encouragement.

You are not alone, there are others on a similar journey with issues all of their own. There will be others after you. Please help those who are coming up with words of encouragement, make them feel at home that they have a safe place.

So dear reader keep keeping on!

Silent Screams

***Caution, I may write about some issues that might be a trigger to some.***


“If someone asks you how you are, you are meant to say FINE. You are not meant to say that you cried yourself to sleep last night because you hadn’t spoken to another person for two consecutive days. FINE is what you say.”
― Gail Honeyman, Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine


Where were they when I would wake up from nightmares containing my family in a care crossing a river, terrified I was thinking that my father was going to drive us over the guard rails and into the river. It is funny that I am finally letting this issue out for I have never spoken about it.

Did they know I was lying when they asked me how did I get a bruise on my cheek, fearing if I said something it would cause another session of rage? If they did know why didn’t they speak up, tell the authorities, just why did they hear no evil?

I would go to school in the dark, go home in the dark praying that he was already in bed. I kept this silent because of the fear of confrontation. Fear keeping me from speaking out to someone who would hear some evil, afraid they wouldn’t believe me. I am sure there were some that could sense the air filled with tension, but they acted like they didn’t hear any evil.

I was screaming for help and finding little, everyone turned a deaf hear so that they wouldn’t hear those screams. I have finally left all that behind, I no longer have to scream in silence.

There are so many things that people refuse to hear:

  • The woman who has been raped
  • A battered spouse who thinks she is in a box, she/he is told that they cannot survive on their own.
  • The mother who stays in a abusive marriage because of the children.
  • The young girl who starts bed wetting again because of sexual abuse
  • All those young males who were sexually abused by the very ones who were suppose to protect them from the predators. The hierarchy develops a tin ear refusing to take action with the abusive clergy man.

There are many who like me are screaming for help but nobody wants to hear the screams.

So dear reader if you have someone coming to you screaming about their abuse, mental health issues give them your ears for them to tell their story. Have them sit down, bring them a coffee, tea, water, just listen, make no pre-judgments about their situation.

What Is Good Mental Health?

“I found that with depression, one of the most important things you can realize is that you’re not alone. You’re not the first to go through it, you’re not gonna be the last to go through it,” Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson


While doing some research about Good Mental Health I came upon this brief article explaining just that, What Is Good Mental Health?


What Is Good Mental Health?

Good mental health is not simply the absence of diagnosable mental health problems, although good mental health is likely to help protect against development of many such problems.

Good mental health is characterized by a person’s ability to fulfil a number of key functions and activities, including:

  • the ability to learn
  • the ability to feel, express and manage a range of positive and negative emotions
  • the ability to form and maintain good relationships with others
  • the ability to cope with and manage change and uncertainty.

Source: Mental Health Org

Just Imagine

“We seek to escape the dark cave of a despondent mind by either dulling oneself mentally or through imaginative acts. One form of escapism is daydreaming.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls


***This is not about the John Lennon song, “Imagine”. It is my favorite song by far!***

This morning like every morning I get up, put the coffee maker on, sit down and take my morning pills. A boring routine!

Today was a bit different, I found myself daydreaming wondering what my mornings would be like if I didn’t have to take my meds.

I find myself daydreaming quit a lot. For example, I see on a show a nice grand piano and I wonder what it would be like to have it in my home.

Maybe my daydreaming is an escape mechanism, but when you are basically house bound it allows me to roam around different places, events.

However it can become quite more serious, when I start believing that my daydreams are reality. I am not a psychiatrist, I have a feeling that is when it becomes serious. The reason I am writing about this is because I have dealt with an aunt who is Schizophrenia. She is fine while she is on her routine of meds, but I have seen her and interacted with her when she has come off her meds.

So dear reader I find my daydreaming fun, fun to imagine driving a sports car, living in a log cabin. Well I think you get the point!

Busted Spirit On The Mend

“It is a better thing by far that the lad should break his neck, than that you should break his spirit.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson


It was in the late eighties just a year or two before I tried to commit suicide the issue I wanted to end was that my spirit was totally broken, crushed.

I left the ministry, a second marriage on the rocks, worried about my daughter who was coping diabetes. All those events felt like the four walls were closing in.

At times in the past twenty-five years I feel envious of this millennial generation because they have no barriers about issues like those of my generation didn’t speak about publicly. Subjects like marijuana, gay life style, living common law, from the surface they are more at ease with the those issues.

I recognize that they still have their issues, break ups, depression, body image shaming, low esteem. As I read many of the blogs in this WordPress community I admire how many feel totally free to bare their souls without fear.

In the sixties the young were seen as rebellious, named by the those looking inward “hippies”. Love ins, men with long hair, smoking pot, loud rock concerts. It was that generation who protested the war in Vietnam. Every night on the evening news footage showing them protesting everywhere including in front of the White House.

I have found that when someone has a broken spirit they turn to self-harm, alcohol, hard drugs, the list too long to put in one post.

A broken spirit is not so easy to heal, when it does the scars can be raw and easily ripped opened. There are still some scars that if I am not careful they get ripped opened. A drama who is portraying certain subjects brings about a tidal wave of negative emotions.

I have at times have asked friends who without knowingly bring up a subject to please find something else to chat about.

So dear reader if you are one of those with a broken spirit there can be a light at the end of the tunnel. There is no shame in having one, if you have a friend who you can trust wholly reach out, start a conversation, unload to them for in so doing your broken spirit will start to mend.


Purpose, The True Sense

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

“Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement.” ―W. Clement Stone


Every on in awhile I have at times asked the ultimate question, “what is my purpose for living”. Just the other day was one of those times.

For the whole population of planet earth the question would be as unique as is the number of those living on the big blue marble.

I have a vivid memory of telling my mother that I was going to be a preacher, I was not much more the eight years old. Then circumstance brought me to a fork in the road. My home church was needing a musician, it had been filled by my grandfather with his guitar. So, I added learning to play the piano to my purpose.

I worked hard learning the piano, studying the Bible with the same vigor. It wasn’t long before my purpose became reality. I would travel with an evangelist as the organist, then at certain days I was able to preach.

I have learned over my lifetime that purpose will fluctuate due to varying circumstances, such as marriage, children, career change, etc.,

I truly feel that some of my depression came when I lost the sense of purpose. When I stepped down as a pastor, it was shortly after that event that I tried to commit suicide. There have been other times of depression where I can pin point the event where I lost my sense of purpose.

I have asked that question, I feel at this time, this place, that I have purpose. Found in events, people that I would have never thought of. Having a sense of purpose brings about a calmness to my mind, a feeling of peace, tranquility.

So dear reader do not think that you are alone in this world when you find yourself asking the all important question, “what is my purpose in life”?

Leave My Emotions Out Of It!

Of course our feelings matter. But emotional decisions are usually not the best ones. On the other hand, your emotions can affect your decisions whether you like it or not because the effects can occur on the unconscious level.  Leonard Mlodinow


I have never approached the subject of how I made decisions from this view point, making them in an emotional state.

As I think back on my life I have basically always made decisions while in an pressured situation. I made them in haste, many of them when I was angry, then too proud to reverse the decision, that would mean I was wrong.

My suicide attempt was a decision when I was overwrought with anger. I felt like the world was caving in, the walls were closing together to squash me. I now know that was a very stupid, ludicrous move.

Then there was the opposite, no decision made because I was in deep depression. My mood was horrendous, I just didn’t care one way or the other. I would go for days living on coffee, just no appetite, when I did eat it was simply junk food with no nutritious value.

Then when the pendulum swung the other way I was in the state of mania making really crazy, almost dangerous decisions. One time, this story was told to me by my best friend because I had no recall of it. I had a plumber in to fix something, that required me to go under the trailer to shut the water off. My best friend came he had to help me out of the crawl space for I was wacked out due to Oxycontin.

I have made great progress in making decisions. I never make them when angry, not in haste, just with proper logical methods. I give credit to my Psychiatrist and the team at the Mental Health Ward, for I learned I could manage my emotional decisions. Also the cocktail of meds that I take daily.

So dear reader this writer has cleared the hurdle of making decisions in an emotional frame of mind!

How Is Your Emotional Well-Being?

“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us, so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.”
― Jess C. Scott, Clear: A Guide to Treating Acne Naturally


I probably could guess and be correct, most people who are bi-polar knows about the extreme mania to the deep depression. I understand that in woman going through menopause that they have a more acute situation.

When I stop to think about how messed up I was before being treated for bi-polar. With the extreme mania it wasn’t out of the question that I would stay awake for more than twenty-four hours.

Then when I hit bottom I truly would fall apart. Arguing with my best friend, wouldn’t answer my phone, had no appetite for eating, just sit and drink coffee with a cigarette.(I no longer smoke, going on six years since I have quit) Coffee I still drink it!(probably more than I should…lol)


Emotional well-being

Emotional well-being refers to the emotional quality an individual experiences. Emotional well-being is influenced by a variety of demographic, economic, and situational factors. For example, the onset of the COVID-19 outbreak, lowered emotional well-being by 74%. Wikipedia


During these stressful times I sometimes wish that things would return to a somewhat normal. I do not go out much, when I do it is for a doctor’s appointment. I find myself getting frustrated with the mask, it fogs up my glasses. Would love to hear how to stop that.

If that definition holds true I must have a terrible state of emotional well-being. I can answer in the negative on two of the three factors stated.

So dear reader I take extra steps during the day. Turn off the news, listen to some music on iTunes, read a book. Anything to keep my emotional well-being healthy!

A Reblog: Reversible Figures and Mood — Body-Mind Health

You have probably seen what are called ‘reversible figures’. For example, a picture of a vase that when looked at slightly differently becomes two faces. This involves a fast rearrangement of how your brain makes sense of an object. First you see the vase as the foreground and then as the background. The faces become […]

via Reversible Figures and Mood — Body-Mind Health

Walking In Your Shoes

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Barack Obama

“My third piece of advice is to cultivate a sense of empathy – to put yourself in other people’s shoes – to see the world from their eyes. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.”

For this post I want to flip the idiom “walk a mile in my shoes” to “walk a mile in your shoes”.

I would like to ask you a question, what would I learn if I were to lace up in your shoes?

Would I:

  • learn that you dread getting out of bed in the morning
  • that even with taking meds your depression is still hanging there
  • maybe how you think that nobody truly understands what you are struggling with
  • or that sometimes you fantasize about killing yourself 
  • those troublesome times when you just cannot concentrate on one thing for any length of time
  • how you have panic attacks just thinking about leaving your home
  • that between paying for your meds and therapy you have a hard time managing your other obligations

There are probably a myriad of other things I could learn if I were to walk for some time in your shoes. I just mentioned the ones that came to my mind at the time of writing this post.

So dear reader, if I could walk a mile in those shoes of yours would I have a better sense of what your life is truly like?

A Reblog: Men and Depression — Wakiza feeds

Depression is an intense feeling of sadness that lasts for a long time, sometimes weeks, months or years. If you are depressed, it can start to interfere with your day-to-day life, well being and physical health. Men may not recognize they have depression. If they do acknowledge it to themselves, they are often reluctant to talk […]

via Men and Depression — Wakiza feeds

A Re-blog: Sitting with my Mental Illness. (A Fresh Examination). — DWalksZen – A Meditation Journal

So a week has passed and it is blog day. I updated the mindful commandments and a modified excerpt from my journal is here: Core feelings So, later I will see that realisations, I call ‘antidotes’ can treat my core feelings, if I acknowledge them for the first time, every time so that mental blockage […]

via Sitting with my Mental Illness. (A Fresh Examination). — DWalksZen – A Meditation Journal

A Re-blog: Life Update… —

I read this blog of how one person went through a horrific ordeal in coping with depression.

I do not usually comment on the importance of a re-blog, as you read this post you may, like me, feel the pain this blogger experienced!

Hello, readers and bloggers. I don’t really know how to say this. I don’t like talking about this, but I also don’t want to keep it a secret because I have shared so much in the past within the book community. I’ve talked about it on Instagram, Twitter and my past life on booktube. A […]

via Life Update… —

A Reblog: Hatred From An Unlikely Source – Internalized Homophobia — Overcoming OCD

Did you know that gay and bisexual man are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than the rest of the population? Or that LGBT+ are one and a half times more likely to develop depression and anxiety than heterosexuals? June is Pride Month and I think this is the perfect time to talk about […]

via Hatred From An Unlikely Source – Internalized Homophobia — Overcoming OCD

A Reblog: Eclipsing the Mind: The Most Common Mental Health Disorders Today — No Stress

Eclipsing the Mind: The Most Common Mental Health Disorders Today Statistics about mental health problems are now becoming more increasingly alarming. The key factors in the apparent rise in mental health cases have not yet been fully determined. In fact, authorities may have released inaccurate figures since people tend to hide mental illness or ignore…

via Eclipsing the Mind: The Most Common Mental Health Disorders Today — No Stress

A Re-Blog: Psychiatric Medication Pitfalls — Blogger Community

I’ve spent much of my mental health posts discussing symptoms, treatments, breaking stigma, and ways to ask for or offer help. What I’ve been reluctant to address because there is so much stigma-and yes, many pitfalls- are psychiatric medications to treat conditions like bipolar disorder and depression. I am a firm believer in medication, when […]

via Psychiatric Medication Pitfalls — Blogger Community

Pride, Prejudice, Psychology!

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“Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.”
― Derek Jarman

Pierre Elliot Trudeau: {1967} ‘There’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation’

prej·u·dice
/ˈprejədəs/
noun
      1. 1.
        preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
        “English prejudice against foreigners”

 

I have been giving this post a lot of thought over the past several days.  I wanted the best quotes I could find about the subject. The first one is new to me, but, the second one is from the Senior Prime Minister Trudeau, which I learned about in high school.

I feel safe in saying that many of us have preconceived ideas about one thing or another.  Where did we learn these things, from our parents, peers, school, reading, or television.

Imagine if our preconceived idea of seeing a man and woman holding hands was repulsive.  Maybe denied insurance coverage for being a heterosexual being, or portrayed on tv shows as some type of freak.  Now, how would you feel? Some would hide the fact of their sexuality, pretend to be gay, or just outright be proud of being heterosexual.

Now how would your mental health be doing?  Over time not so good, thoughts of depression, inferiority feelings, to the point to where there is contemplation of suicide.

I believe I have described the life of a LGBTQ person over the past forty years. Here are some facts from Homewood Health

LGBTQ+ Mental Health Facts1:

  • Members of LGBTQ+ communities face higher rates of depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive and phobic disorders, suicidality, self-harm and substance use
  • Members of LGBTQ are twice as likely to experience childhood maltreatment, interpersonal; violence, and personal loss
  • The risk of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) within the LGBTQ+ community is double that of those that identify as heterosexual
  • Sexual minority individuals are two and a half times more likely to attempt suicide and are one and a half times more likely to have depression and anxiety than heterosexual peers
  • LGBTQ+ youth face approximately 14 times the risk of suicide and substance abuse as heterosexual peers
  • Some research suggests that abuse of alcohol, tobacco and other substances may be two to four times higher among those that identify as LGBTQ

So dear reader, when you are thinking some preconceived idea about a person, persons, gender, think about this post!