Use To Your Own Detriment!

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“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”
― Coretta Scott King

I have a relative that must take baths in hate.  A grievance collector that never forgets who did what, who said what.  Revenge is something that this person give constant thought of how to go about it.


“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Mark Twain


It is my understanding that the person suffers from other ailments, digestion being the major one.

I have another relative that was having stomach troubles, had to get a prescription to stop the pain after eating. The relative went to see a specialist, the first thing he asked, “what is eating you”? Notice he did not want to know what they were eating.  It was true that the person was harboring ill feelings towards someone who had wronged them.

I learned a long time ago that it does nothing to hold extreme hatred or anger over what someone has done to them.  When I have been wronged I just move on.  Now do not misunderstand, I do get angry sometimes, but I do not give it free space within my mind.


“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”
― Shannon L. Alder


My father and I were never close, I really do not have any fond memories about him with me.  He had anger issues and when triggered it could get physical, usually I ended up being the punching bag.

In around 1980 I had just started travelling with the evangelist, we were in a Christian TV studio holding a crusade in Detroit, Michigan.  One afternoon my father showed up to a meeting. 

After the meeting he asked if we could go for coffee.  I agreed hoping that maybe something new would happen between us.  We ended up in a mall walking around and talking.  I spotted a Music store that had pianos, organs, etc.,. I told my father, “Watch this“.  I walked over to a digital piano that was on display outside of the store door.  I turned it on and started to play it.  A crowd started to gather, so with glee I continued for awhile.  The store didn’t mind me doing so. I guess they figured that maybe they would end up with some sales.  We then walked away and my dad asked me, “when did you learn to play like that”?  I just smiled on the inside even though I wanted to give a snide remark. 

I have not seen my dad since the late eighties for my own mental health stability.  I do not wish him any harm, nor do I hold any ill feelings towards him.

My way of working through anger may not fit you, the reader.  It is a personal thing that each individual has to wrestle with it in their own way.

So dear reader I hope that maybe something I wrote on this post will give you some ideas on how to manage anger!

Conquer or Surrender

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Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional. -Roger Crawford

https://propertyupdate.com.au/10-inspirational-quotes-on-facing-difficulties/

At this time everyone is facing great challenges.  Every challenge is unique therefore it requires an unique plan to face it.

I have faced many challenges, sometimes I think that it is more than one person deserves.  I have broken bones, recovered from a motorbike accident as a passenger, loss of loved ones, marriages that have fallen apart.  

I look back on all of them and wonder how I made it through some of them.  I did hit a brick wall, a wall the crashed on me with my mental health.  For that challenge I decided not to conquer but, rather I surrendered to it.  My answer was attempted suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills.

I know now that lashing out in anger that is destructive, I have learned to channel my anger to achieve constructive results.  The former saw me burn relationships that could never be repaired.  The latter, I now explain the action that angered me, it is not directed to a person.  No name calling, no shaming, etc.,

Now, that doesn’t mean when I am challenge that I lay down like a door mat to be walked on.  It means I have learned in a constructive way when something, someone, has crossed boundaries.

So, once again I have to summon all that I have learned, focus on the situation, conquer the situation, and do not surrender to it!

Oh How I Wish!

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“If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit.” – William J. Clinton

https://liveboldandbloom.com/11/quotes/regret-quotes

I just saw an advertising where the dad and daughter were playing scrabble which lead to a pillow fight, oh how it looked fun.

I talk about my grandchildren, but I have not spoken much about my divorce, the separation of my daughter and myself. 

When my first wife divorced me we were living in Ontario, Canada.  She decided to move to Saskatchewan,  Canada along with our daughter.  That meant I would not have convenient access to seeing my daughter.  She was a miracle child because her mother was not suppose to have children, especially one where she would go through natural child birth, her pelvic area was too small.  The fear was if she were to go into labor the child could be crushed causing the death of the child and her mother.

Divorce is one thing a couple never dreams about when they take their marriage vows of til death do you part.  Divorce was something that I would never want for I lived to watch my mom and dad go through one.  I wasn’t living at home when it happened but still I felt the sting of it.  I watched what happened to the two youngest siblings during the divorce of my parents.

I have lived with that regret all my life.  All the important events like watching my daughter ride a bicycle for the first time.  Learning to drive, and the all important event, watching her walk down the isle to marry her partner.

There is one thing that happens when you have regrets, you become stagnant, always looking backward.  Afraid of moving forward in life, unable to make commitments, living with a hole in your spirit, becoming a pessimist about life in the whole. 

I have found that there is life after a mistake, a lifting of the cloud on your mind, a way to get back up and move forward in your life.  Learning that your life can be fulfilling, a new zest, sparkle, and hope for my future.

I have constant contact now with my daughter, wonderful times with my grandchildren, filling a new treasure chest with wonderful happy memories. 

So, I can truly say, it may feel like you are stuck in the muck of despair, but it doesn’t have to be a long slog of hurting.  You can pick yourself up and live a life that is fulfilling, filled with joy and enthusiasm!