Mens Mental Health – Myths

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A real man ain’t a coward, he stands by what he says, admits his faults, and corrects his mistakes.    

Kiki Strack

Starting with this post I will be exploring Mens Mental Health from time to time.  For this post I want to take a look at myths about men.

Myths:

  • Big boys don’t cry – I read somewhere that crying is a release of our pent up frustrations. It is a release of all thing toxic.  Maybe if men would allow themselves to cry there wouldn’t be outbursts of rage.
  • Men Don’t Show Emotions – God forbid if a man was to place a hand on the shoulder of someone hurting, or if they were to hug a man who is in need of comforting.  I cannot recall one instance where my father ever showed a compassionate side towards me. Never once spoke the words to me, “I Love you”. I say that every time I talk to my daughter, grandchildren, and other.  The only emotion that they are comfortable showing is anger.
  • Men don’t talk to their sons about sex. Instead they have the attitude of “let them learn it like I did, on the streets.  Could it be that maybe what their sons are learning on the streets is the cause for many of them to become abusive emotionally and physically to women. Men you need to talk openly and honestly about sex, what it is and what it is not. My father never once talked to me concerning puberty, sex, etc.,

There are probably many more myths about what a real man is. But, the myths must be taken down, stripped away, to allow real men to step forward.

So dear reader if you know of a myth about real men please bring it to my attention using the comment section.

Processing

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The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret. Henri Frederic Amiel
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/regret-quotes_2

Healing is a strange slow moving process.  When I had a broken arm they knew it because of an x-ray.  To determine how well it was healing they used the same process.

Healing for the mind is a much different beast.  Any type of imaging will not show the breakdown within that human computer.

I know some people who just don’t talk about what is happening within them.  They keep it pent up, brewing, seething, eating away at them.  I have learned that this begins to show itself with physical ailments.  They are a walking volcano that nobody has a clue just when it will erupt spewing all the emotions on anyone within reach. 

Some in my own family do not talk about relatives who have died.  I heard or read somewhere that the best way to keep someone alive is to talk about them.  I talk constantly about my mother, grandmother, grandfather, and others. It brings back warm emotions that counter-act any negativity that might be trying to take root.

I have also come to terms with regrets in my past.  I cannot travel back in time to change any situation, yet, I cannot move forward with my attention always looking backward. So, to move forward is to come to peace with all those regrets.

When I was younger and heard someone talk about a journal I always pictured it as something a young woman would do.  I now know that journal-ling can aid in the healing of the mind.  I do not regret starting this blog, it has allowed me to express my emotions with a positive outcome. 

So dear reader, I have learned healing takes time. It also comes in many different forms.  All I can tell you is just go with the processing!

Treasure Hunt?

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All emotions, even those that are suppressed and unexpressed, have physical effects. Unexpressed emotions tend to stay in the body like small ticking time bombs—they are illnesses in incubation.”
― Marilyn Van M. Derbur, Miss America by Day

The brain is an amazing organ, it controls the rest of the body.  Communicates with the nervous system, the five senses, etc.,

The thing I find most fantastic is how certain scents, music, words, can trigger my memory, even some that I have not thought about in years.  Some of those thoughts I have pushed to the back of my brain because I just didn’t want to deal with them.

My memory sometimes works overboard, I can remember things that even the ones that were also there cannot recall that incident.

Pent up emotions like anger, resentment can mess with our digestive system. Other emotions like regret can keep me in a state of fixation, can’t move forward, too easy to move backwards.  So, just stuck in one place!

There are times when I question certain memories whether they are real or just something I have dreamed, a creation of my imagination.

I find myself drifting between the now and the memories that seem to rise to the top.  With some they bring back times when I was happy, the days of singing with my grandfather, the days of singing with my sister as I played the piano.  The other memories I would love to find a way to eradicate them totally.

So, unlike Rand Travis “Digging Up Bones” song, I keep digging through my memories like someone on a treasure hunt.

Human/Humanity?

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No matter who we are, no matter what our circumstances, our feelings and emotions are universal.

In the recent past I have thought “wouldn’t it be nice to turn off my feelings”.  The reason I say that is for this reason, sometimes I find myself getting so upset over some things people say in the news.  My best friend constantly tells me “don’t let it bother you”.

Being stripped of feelings would basically reduce myself to the level of a computerized robot.  I certainly wouldn’t enjoy life it that were the case.

My feelings lets me understand the feelings of others, when someone says they were crying I can relate to that because I have cried.  Feelings gives me a level beyond just my brain and body. 

Maybe, in some areas I may be overly sensitive towards certain things, for me I consider that is the factor that makes my life unique.  Like wanting to adopt every stray dog in the world.  Or when I see a baby, brings back the memories of holding my own daughter the day she was born.

The down side of my feelings is that sometimes I allow negative feelings overtake me to go over the edge into depression.  I need to work more aggressively on that section of my feelings.  Need to learn how to quickly replace the negatives with positives. 

So, my objective each day is to do my level best not to allow the negatives overwhelm me!

Somebody Pass The Salt

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Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not ‘yours,’ not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you. Eckhart Tolle
Read more at Boredom-Quotes

Around my neighborhood if you were to ask someone how they were doing the reply would be one word, “bored”.  I can imagine this would hold true in any neighborhood in any corner of the world.

There is only so many games of cards you can play, reading books is at a standstill because the library is closed, television has become tiresome trying to keep away from the cable tv.

I do not handle boredom that well I become antsy and uptight.  I just don’t have any idea left on what I can do around my house.  Cooking is at a minimum because eating too much seems to put on the pounds.

My dog Natalie is usually good for a laugh or two.  Nice to have sit by me and just cuddle on the couch while I am reading a Kindle edition of a book.

So, the list is too long to count the number of different emotions I have during any twenty-four hour period.  I wonder how others are coping with this dreaded thing called “boredom”!

 I just need some spice in my life at this moment.  Somebody pass the salt!

A Re-Blog: What Mental Illness Looks Like — Fractured Faith Blog

I think I’ve ticked every one of these boxes at some point in my life but, thankfully, not for a while now. But I’ve been there and I know I could return there, we all could. Nobody is immune from mental illness, we are all vulnerable and few will live their lives untouched by it. […]

via What Mental Illness Looks Like — Fractured Faith Blog