“Don’t let mental blocks control you. Set yourself free. Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.”
― Dr Roopleen,Words to inspire the winner in YOU
I have sat in front of my laptop over the last several days with the task of writing in mind. I would start a post only to find myself half way through hitting the delete button. I just couldn’t keep my train of thought focused, found myself wandering in my thoughts.
I am realizing that I am not alone in this way, mental blocks, writer’s block are very common even for the best authors.
“Just because you fail once doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything.”
― Marilyn Monroe
I am sure I could make a safe bet in saying that at one time or another everyone has wanted to just give up.
I have felt that way many times in my life. One time I tried was my overdose of sleeping pills. It was the start of learning about myself. Who I really was, what my worth was, how deal with my emotions in a healthy way, not in anger or frustration.
That ordeal was back in the early nineties. I can proudly say I am not that person before the complete breakdown. I very seldom now get too upset about things. Last winter was case in point with that. I had several plumbing episodes, not much in the bank, no credit card. I phoned the one plumbing company that I knew. After explaining my situation the owner took a chance on me and allowed to make payments on the work that was done. I didn’t disappoint him, now I have a good credit rating with that company. Plumbing and heating problems now can receive attention and I keep my composure. By the way, a plumber in this town makes ninety-nine dollars an hour. My one bill alone was over three hundred dollars.
I have learned over the years to take everything in steps, keep calm, talk or think it through. It is amazing the difference doing it that way instead of trying to solve a problem when I am totally frustrated and my nerves frayed.
So dear reader, my message is clear, I just won’t allow my circumstances dictate how I act or react in any given situation!
I was in my late thirties to early forties to learn that my failures did not define who I am.
It was something that I probably learned that one failure means you are a failure. It is almost like you jinx yourself. You start to try something, before you start it you have already told yourself that you will fail with this venture also.
I once heard a lecturer speak about how you can set yourself up to have a bad day. You wake up in the morning and you start thinking, ‘this is going to be a bad day’. You have company and someone makes a statement that you don’t look good. It sets off something within you and you actually start feeling ill.
I know the definition of insanity; “doing the same thing over expecting different results”.
So, I have learned that one failure does not a failure make!
“Truth is mysterious, elusive, always to be conquered. Liberty is dangerous, as hard to live with as it is elating. We must march toward these two goals, painfully but resolutely, certain in advance of our failings on so long a road”. Albert Camus. Read more athttps://www.brainyquote.com/topics/road-quotes
Who knew that the road of recovery would wind, snake, up and down. Arriving at times at a fork in the road. Which one should I choose, the left, the right. No signs to tell me if I take such road that I will be going toward the place I need to arrive at.
Lately, my mind feels like the kids in the back of the car hollering in unison, “are we there yet?” I try to ignore the chants but the longer I ignore them the louder they become. They grow so loud to the place where all other things cannot be heard. They are relentless in their persistence. At times all I can do is place my face into a pillow and scream loudly.
Deciding on which road leaves me apprehensive of just sitting down and staying put. I am not going backward, but I am not moving forward either. I find myself in a deadlock with my decisions.
I should know better, I have made decisions before they turned out great, so what is preventing me from making one now. I am frozen with uncertainty.
There somewhere lost in all the noise is my favorite song of Judy Garland in the “Wizard of Oz”, “Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue…”
Well tomorrow is another day, more time to analyze my options of which road I should travel!