“At the end of the day, the questions we ask of ourselves determine the type of people that we will become.” ― Leo Babauta
I Need You To Put Your Mind In Gear!
I have now done several interviews. Just as those who participated are different, so it is with the type of questions I ask during the interview.
I have tried to gain an understanding of the person so that I can put together an interview that brings insight to those who are reading it.
Some questions are basically the same, but, then there are the ones that are drafted just for the specific person.
Here is what I am asking from the reader. I would like you to pose some questions that you would like to see incorporated into an interview. They can be of any subject, however, no “gotcha” or embarrassing questions. Your help would help spark creativity in my brain.
So dear reader give me some of your best questions! Leave your question/s in the comment section for me to gather together. Then watch for the interviews for your question just might be in the following interview/s!
“Want a reliable road to emotional and spiritual suicide? Spend your life trying to fit in.” ― Brandon Mull
For all my life I really felt that I didn’t fit in. I couldn’t hang out with the jocks, my body was too thin, no muscular definition. I really felt uncomfortable around the egg heads. Don’t get me wrong, I was smart enough, had good grades in most subjects, but somehow I just didn’t think I was brainy.
My grade eight teacher didn’t help how I looked at myself when he showed up at the door while we were eating dinner. He wanted my mother to hold me back a year for he thought I was too small to enter high school. My mother declined the idea so come fall I registered for grade nine at the school of my choosing.
During high school I basically kept to myself, well not really, during lunch breaks you could find me sitting at a table with other guys playing cards, Euchre was the favorite game. When it came time in the day for gym I was very self-conscience in the change room, I just wanted to melt into the walls, change my clothes and make an exit as fast as possible.
After the school day I would make my way home, drop my books, change clothes, then head out the door, either to baby sit my cousins, or dropping of a paper called “Penny Saver”. If it was summer I would have some type of part time work. Also, I had around the neighborhood where I would take care of their lawns.
Even to this day I have bouts where I feel inferior. I don’t socialize much with anybody, basically a home body. It’s not that I don’t like being with people, but, I find myself struggling to think of something to talk about other than the niceties of, “how are you”, that small talk.
It’s has been that all this week, feeling awkward searching for words, with my thoughts being disjointed leaving me feeling frustrated.
So dear reader my motto for this upcoming week is, “I think I can, I think I can…repeat”!
“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.” ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
There is something I have learned the hard way, I use my experiences as teachable moments.
I am not sure if I have ever shared this about my daughter as a baby who suffered with colic. We did everything, I would walk the floor all night long with her. Finally, someone suggested that it may be the formula doesn’t agree with her. They recommended switching her to “Carnation” formula. We did and her colic disappeared.
In Ontario they send a nurse to all families who have newborn children. Well one morning the nurse dropped in, I was asleep in the bedroom. I began to hear the nurse’s voice in a scolding manner towards my wife. I got out of bed to see what was happening. My wife mentioned to the nurse about switching the baby’s formula. She was threatening all kinds of things towards us. Back then I could get very vocal and forceful. I asked the nurse how many children she had raised, the reply came back, “none”. I proceeded to tell her that my grandmother raised seven children with it, my mother raised five children. I told her it was good enough for them, it is good enough for my daughter. Case closed. The nurse left and never stopped in again.
What I write on this blog is how I have reacted with many of my experiences in life. I never recommend anything that someone should follow. Experiences are not one size fits all.
So dear reader the motive behind my posts are usually based on some experience in my life, not a text book! Experiences can be used as teachable moments!
“Don’t let mental blocks control you. Set yourself free. Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.”
― Dr Roopleen,Words to inspire the winner in YOU
I have sat in front of my laptop over the last several days with the task of writing in mind. I would start a post only to find myself half way through hitting the delete button. I just couldn’t keep my train of thought focused, found myself wandering in my thoughts.
I am realizing that I am not alone in this way, mental blocks, writer’s block are very common even for the best authors.
I will soon be fifty-nine years old, no birthday parties, no gifts, just a run of the mill day for me. At this age comes with it the ability to reflect on your life, it’s ups, it’s downs, the battles lost, the battles won.
For most of my life I was not great at managing things, time, rest, exercise, and oh yes, money. I was almost hopeless with my finances, as the idiom goes “money burns a hole in my pocket”. So, you can imagine the rest from here, needless to say I would jump every time the phone rang.
Life will demand a lot in your life, school, career, marriage, family, and if time allows relaxation. Sometimes I would think I needed to have six more arms and hands. I look back on those days and truly wonder how I made it to my thirties without going bonkers. Then when I did break it was in grand style.
I look at the world then I scratch my head, thinking how are the children able to function normally. So many things hollering for their attention, cell phones, computers, social media, school peers and all things education. I think to myself, it may sound selfish, but I wouldn’t want to have to attend school in this day and age.
It is my understanding that most people will have at least two careers. My father’s generation had just one job from the time they left school until they retired at the age of sixty-five. I have been told that even with a degree out of college does not guarantee you a great paying job. I know people who have degrees who are working at jobs for minimum wage. For that position they are over qualified.
In the early nineties I flipped burgers, then became a breakfast manager. I remember during orientation being told for every person who quits there is a thousand people waiting to take their place.
So dear reader, take this from an old man, life will be bumpy, there will be highs, lows, laughs, and tears. Like an old preacher said to me, “what don’t kill you will make you stronger”. I have learned that to be true!
“If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit.” – William J. Clinton
I just saw an advertising where the dad and daughter were playing scrabble which lead to a pillow fight, oh how it looked fun.
I talk about my grandchildren, but I have not spoken much about my divorce, the separation of my daughter and myself.
When my first wife divorced me we were living in Ontario, Canada. She decided to move to Saskatchewan, Canada along with our daughter. That meant I would not have convenient access to seeing my daughter. She was a miracle child because her mother was not suppose to have children, especially one where she would go through natural child birth, her pelvic area was too small. The fear was if she were to go into labor the child could be crushed causing the death of the child and her mother.
Divorce is one thing a couple never dreams about when they take their marriage vows of til death do you part. Divorce was something that I would never want for I lived to watch my mom and dad go through one. I wasn’t living at home when it happened but still I felt the sting of it. I watched what happened to the two youngest siblings during the divorce of my parents.
I have lived with that regret all my life. All the important events like watching my daughter ride a bicycle for the first time. Learning to drive, and the all important event, watching her walk down the isle to marry her partner.
There is one thing that happens when you have regrets, you become stagnant, always looking backward. Afraid of moving forward in life, unable to make commitments, living with a hole in your spirit, becoming a pessimist about life in the whole.
I have found that there is life after a mistake, a lifting of the cloud on your mind, a way to get back up and move forward in your life. Learning that your life can be fulfilling, a new zest, sparkle, and hope for my future.
I have constant contact now with my daughter, wonderful times with my grandchildren, filling a new treasure chest with wonderful happy memories.
So, I can truly say, it may feel like you are stuck in the muck of despair, but it doesn’t have to be a long slog of hurting. You can pick yourself up and live a life that is fulfilling, filled with joy and enthusiasm!
A couple of years ago I decided I wanted to try to become more assertive, mainly in my interactions with service providers such as phone companies, garages and landlords. I felt like I was getting fobbed off a lot and accepting poor service. It was a very interesting goal to have, with surprising results. This […]
It seems like yesterday, the day my daughter was born. I was sitting in the waiting area watching t.v. My mom and her boyfriend decided they were going have some breakfast. It was a Sunday morning, around 7:05 a.m. a nurse brought a little baby girl out so that I could hold her. They didn’t clean her up yet, but that didn’t bother me, my whole world at that moment was revolving around this tiny little human. That tiny little girl has just turn thirty-five years old.
There is something that I use to tell young people, I guess I still would, “before you settle down and start a family do yourself a favor, take some time and see your country. I was fortunate for I was seeing my country playing the piano or organ, better yet I was being paid. Those are memories I hold close to me, they are what comforts me when I get the itch to move.
Now I am experiencing a new part of my life, life as a father, and a grateful grandfather. The youngest turns eight in February. When they come to visit it gives me a rush of adrenaline.
All through those years I struggled within me, highs and lows, not understanding what was ailing my mind. It wasn’t until around 2004 I had the answer, I was bi-polar. With the help of my psychiatrist I was put on a regiment of medications, medications that keep me balance.
If while you are young and able to go, go see the country, experience other cultures, their food, their music, taste, feel, hear, and listen. So, when the family comes along you will have some memories that no one, anything can rob you of them.
So, take a deep breath, and just put your foot one in front of the other. Go and just live life to the fullest! You won’t regret it!
Ecclesiastes1: MSG 1 These are the words of the Quester, David’s son and king in Jerusalem: 2 Smoke, nothing but smoke. [That’s what the Quester says.] There’s nothing to anything—it’s all smoke. 3 What’s there to show for a lifetime of work, a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone? 4 One generation goes its way, the next one arrives, but nothing changes—it’s business as usual for old planet earth. 5 The sun comes up and the sun goes down, then does it again, and again—the same old round. 6 The wind blows south, the wind blows north. Around and around and around it blows, blowing this way, then that—the whirling, erratic wind. 7 All the rivers flow into the sea, but the sea never fills up. The rivers keep flowing to the same old place, and then start all over and do it again. 8 Everything’s boring, utterly boring— no one can find any meaning in it. Boring to the eye, boring to the ear. 9 What was will be again, what happened will happen again. There’s nothing new on this earth. Year after year it’s the same old thing. 10 Does someone call out, “Hey, this is new”? Don’t get excited—it’s the same old story. 11 Nobody remembers what happened yesterday. And the things that will happen tomorrow? Nobody’ll remember them either. Don’t count on being remembered.
If many people are like me lately I have been finding life boring. The drudgery of each day, wondering if anything is ever going to change, when will I have some excitement.
Christian life is no different, we go to church, sing a few hymns, listen to a thirty minute sermon, sing the doxology, be dismissed and go home.
I have to believe that somewhere, somehow, things will eventually change, and this hum-oh, life will have a spark of change and excitement again.
The hamster wheel life that I face today hopefully will end and I will find myself on a path that leads to fulfillment.
Boring can lead to lethargy, paying attention may lead to mistakes, mistakes that in some circumstances could cost me greatly.
So, when at the end of my rope I’ll tie a knot and hold the faith that things will change!
Pro 3: [MSG] 13 You’re blessed when you meet Lady Wisdom, when you make friends with Madame Insight. 14 She’s worth far more than money in the bank; her friendship is better than a big salary. 15 Her value exceeds all the trappings of wealth; nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her. 16 With one hand she gives long life, with the other she confers recognition. 17 Her manner is beautiful, her life wonderfully complete. 18 She’s the very Tree of Life to those who embrace her. Hold her tight—and be blessed!
We are not born with wisdom for it is acquired throughout life. It is a compilation of things learned through books and our life’s experiences.
We have two choices when it comes to wisdom, applied, disregard.
So, let me finish with a saying I have heard, “too old soon, too late smart”!