It’s critical that we lower the cost of prescription drugs and develop a health care plan that works for all Americans. Mike Braun

I am Canadian, but this could be applied to Canada.

I am not really sure when I started noticing the price of everything. Debating with a company over the cost of their services. Look through all of the flyers to see which store has the best prices. Is it something that happens when you grow older, I don’t remember noticing the prices of everything before buying.

The bill for the repair made on my furnace arrived in the mail. Glad that they will let me make payments. Then over the past couple of weeks I have been having a change with my pain killers and something to help me sleep better. I had to call my doctor and explain that I couldn’t afford the medications. I had to ask him to once again change my medications.

If a person cannot afford something, something like their medications, it could sit on the lowest shelf in the store, but, it would still be inaccessible. I am on assistance from the Provincial Government. I called my pharmacy that I deal with and asked if there were any exemptions available, the reply was, “no”. So, I asked about generic brands, turns out I have the generics. These medications have to be renewed every seven days. For a month of the prescriptions would cost me just under three hundred dollars.

My thoughts have been wandering all over the gambit. Thoughts about what I could change to afford the medications. Thinking about the prices doesn’t inspire a person to write!

I have read many reports about innocent people were given Oxycodone after surgery. They become addicted to the medication, a medication they cannot afford to keep on taking. So they turn to the streets, heroin for it gives the same euphoric high, but the cost is much cheaper.

I read a report about overdoses and how pharmacies are teaching people how to use naloxone, if they have people around them that use needles. The number of overdoses in a day is climbing and the stuff on the street is deadly. You are playing roulette with the stuff.

So, dear reader, this old guy has been wondering what the fix is, a fix to the cost of medications so that they are affordable!


 “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

I am going to be honest in that I am not familiar with S.A.D.{Seasonal Affective Disorder}. However, it is my understanding that it usually will show it’s head in seasons like winter. With the onset of winter coming I thought about this when I woke up this morning.

Here is how The Mayo Clinic speaks about S.A.D.:


Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you’re like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody. Less often, SAD causes depression in the spring or early summer.

Treatment for SAD may include light therapy (phototherapy), medications and psychotherapy.

Don’t brush off that yearly feeling as simply a case of the “winter blues” or a seasonal funk that you have to tough out on your own. Take steps to keep your mood and motivation steady throughout the year.

So dear reader I truly hope that this helps your understanding about S.A.D.{Seasonal Affective Disorder. There are plenty of sites that can give you a deeper understanding of this disorder.

A Re-Blog: 2020 World Mental Health Day — Women & Well Being

World Mental Health Day is celebrated every year on October 10th. It was established October 10, 1992 by Richard Hunter. Hunter was the Deputy Secretary General of the World Federation for Mental Health. The top 5 warning signs: Long term sadness or irritability Extreme high and low mood swings Excessive fear, worry or anxiety Social […]

2020 World Mental Health Day — Women & Well Being

Mental Health, Mental Wellbeing – Some Facts

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” Fred Rogers

A couple posts back I wrote a post titled “Mental Health & Access To Health Care“.

In the comment section Chelsea Owen wrote the following:

It all gets paid for, one way or another. The U.S. health system bothers me because health insurance companies are clearly for-profit entities yet everyone talks about them in NewSpeak like they are not. Still, a socialized system like yours gets its funding from somewhere. The medications that companies use often come from the megalithic pharmaceutical process in the U.S.; expensive, but thorough.

How do we pay for it? Save up. Does mental health get coverage? Not usually. If it does, it’s a percentage or a copay or a “you can see these doctors but not these.” A FB friend posted about how she cannot get good help for her daughter unless she pays $1600 a month…

Well that comment started me thinking. So, hello Google here I come. So the following was inspired by Chelsea Ann Owens. Thank you Chelsea!

U.S. News ranks top 10 countries with the most well developed healthcare systems

Alyssa Rege – Wednesday, January 11th, 2017

Top 10 Countries By HealthcareBest Country Overall
6United Kingdom6
The United States Did Not Make The Cut

What Is Mental Health and Mental Wellbeing

Mental Health Definition:

“Mental health is not just the absence of mental disorder. It is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.”

Mental Wellbeing Index Definition

DeveloperPsychiatric Research Unit. Mental Health Centre North Zealand, Hillerød, Denmark.

Year: 1998

“The WHO-5 Well-Being Index is a questionnaire that measures current mental well-being (time frame the previous two weeks).” Originally developed to assess both positive and negative well-being, this five question version use only positively phrased questions to avoid symptom-related language.

Mental Wellbeing Index

  1. United Arab Emirates
  2. Indonesia
  3. Mongolia
  4. Kenya
  5. Thailand
  6. Israel
  7. Iceland
  8. Malta
  9. Canada
  10. United States of America

So dear reader, once again thank you Chelsea Ann Owens for inspiring this post!

p.s – *** I am tossing around the thought of writing about the word “Socialist”. There is some confusion about what that term means. I can pretty well say that what it meant when it first came into man’s vocabulary compared to today are very much different.***

The Interview – Overcoming OCD – Mark Wester

I first came upon Mark Wester’s blog, Overcoming OCD while researching about OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, due to a revelation by my daughter. I had no prior knowledge about this issue.

Since then Mark and myself have been interacting through our comment section. Several days ago Mark sent me a message through email that he would like to be interviewed. So, I took several days to gather my thoughts about questions I would like to ask. I sent the questions to Mark. I mentioned to him to take his time in answering them. Today I received those answers. Below you will find my interview with Mark Wester of the blog “Overcoming OCD“.

Mark’s Interview

Mark for the readers and myself tell us something about yourself that is not on your blog.

I have been telling a lot about myself on my blog so it’s actually pretty difficult to think of something that’s worth mentioning and that I have never talked about but let me try. I was raised in a very multicultural family – I am of Hungarian, Romanian, German and Jewish origin – and I think it’s because of my family background that I love learning foreign languages and I am addicted to traveling. I have been to most of European countries and my dream is to travel the whole world – obviously, only when the pandemic is over.

Why did you start your blog?

I started my blog last December when I was going through a pretty difficult period – I didn’t really know what I wanted from life and I had no motivation to do anything except working, spending money on useless things and going to pubs. Well, I know that the description I have just given you doesn’t really make it sound like a „difficult” period but believe me, it was. I was having a kind of existential crisis because I just didn’t know what I was going to do with my life and my drinking problem also started to go out of control

And then, one day I felt that I just had to write about the things that’d been going on in my mind. It was such an amazing feeling when I saw that my posts could actually help people so I decided that I would just carry on writing. And I would love to say a big thank you to all my readers for supporting me!

Where do you see your blog going?

I have never been much of a planner but what I know at the moment is that I will carry on writing about my OCD. And at the same time, I am planning to write more about other things that can affect our mental health – especially about LGBT+ rights or Learning & Development as these are the topics I feel very passionate about.
Furthermore, I would love to have more guest posts on my blog as we’re all different and the OCD management techniques that work for me may not work for all my readers. So I really think it would be important to have other people sharing their personal experiences on my blog.

Describe what is OCD, how it is diagnosed.
What is OCD?

Well, it’s difficult to give a short answer to this question as I could literary write tens of pages about it. But in a nutshell, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions).

A common example I can give to describe what obsessions and compulsions feel like is checking if the door’s locked. And by saying that, I do not mean that double-checking the front door means that you have OCD because it’s more than that.

Let’s take me as an example, I need to check my door locks several times a day. When I leave home, I will always need to check it 15 times. So, my checking habit is my compulsion and my obsession is that I think that if I do not check it enough times, something terrible will happen. And this terrible thing isn’t necessarily a burglar breaking into my home but it can also be a horrifying accident that happens to one of my loved ones. So there isn’t always a rational link between the obsession and the compulsion.

And in addition to the obsessions and the compulsions, there’s also the feeling of doubt and guilt. In the 19th century, OCD was known as the „doubting” disease because it can really make you doubt the most fundamental things in your life.

How Is It Diagnosed?

Only trained therapists can diagnose OCD – and I am not one, so I do not think I would be the best person to talk about the diagnostic process. However, I have found an article that I think could help those who’re interested in it:

When was it when you received your diagnosis?
Almost 10 years ago, when I was a senior in high school.

Are there medications to help with OCD?
Yes, there are. The reason why I do not normally write about this topic on my blog is that I am not a certified therapist so I do not think I have enough knowledge to talk about different OCD medications. Also, every country has their own regulations when it comes to medications as well as their own brand name – and I am based out of Hungary while I have readers from all over the planet.

However, what I know is that the medications that are approved in the US to treat OCD include Prozac, Zoloft and Anafranil.

Do you also suffer with depression?
No, I do not. But I know depression is one of the comorbidities that can overlap with OCD.

Do you have support [i.e. Psychiatrist, Group Therapy, Friends, and Family]?
I am a very extroverted person and I do have a lot of support from the people around me.

I think I am very lucky because my family, friends and co-workers have always been very supportive. They’re always there when I need someone to talk to and it really means a lot to me. Honestly, I do not know what I would do without them.

Do the citizens where you live understand what OCD is?
Now, this is a complex question. First of all, I can only speak from my own personal experience and I was born and raised in the city centre of Budapest, in a district that’s well-known for being open-minded and liberal – some people even refer to it as “the bubble”.

And secondly, according to statistics, Hungary has one of the highest overall rate of mental illness in the world with over 10% of the population experiencing depressive symptoms and about 4% suffering from OCD. What’s more, I recently came across an article which said that 1 out of 10 Hungarians has drinking problems.

The reason why I am telling you all this is just to illustrate that mental health issues are often talked about in our society. Again, I am not sure what it is like in other parts of the country, but I can tell you that in the capital, I haven’t really experienced any stigma or discrimination due to my mental health problems.

However, when it comes to OCD, I think most people do not really understand what it is – unless they’re suffering from it or have a friend or family member who has OCD. The older generations tend to think that it’s a form of depression and younger people who’re more likely to watch American TV shows have pretty much the same stereotype that I guess many of you are familiar with: that OCD is just about cleaning and orderliness.

What myths would you like to squash here in this interview? Go ahead take as much time as you need. People need to know these things.

That’s a very good question! There are a lot of myths I would like to squash. Might actually just give you a list!

  1. OCD isn’t just about cleaning or the love for symmetry

It’s a mental disorder that can turn one’s life into living hell (unless it’s properly managed, of course). While there are OCD sufferers who spend a crazy amount of time keeping things neat and organized, people with OCD can have obsessions related to a much wider variety of things including fear of harming others, unwanted sexual thoughts, fear of losing control or blasphemous thoughts.

2. You cannot be a “little OCD”

First of all, OCD is not an adjective and the letter “D” in it stands for Disorder. So saying that “you’re a little bit OCD” would be the same as if you were saying that “you’re a little flu”.

And while many people have intrusive thoughts or even obsessions that doesn’t necessarily mean that they have OCD. So if you think you have OCD-like symptoms, seek professional help to find out what’s going on. And if you’re just using the word “OCD” to describe your love for cleaning, there are plenty of words you could replace it with!

3. You can see when someone has OCD

If you met me in person, I am sure you would never figure out I had OCD. I’m outgoing, loud and I hate cleaning. So I guess I do not match the stereotype!

What advice would you give to someone who just received their diagnosis of OCD?
It will get better. Receiving a diagnosis is the first step to recovery.

This is what one of my friends said a few years ago when I felt that my OCD was going out of control. At that time, I thought it was just so cliché – like a typical thing people would tell you. But that friend of mine has OCD and she’s 10 years older than me so she really knew what she was saying.

And she was completely right. It has gotten better. Of course, it hasn’t been easy and I had to work a lot in order to learn how to keep my OCD under control – and I’m still working on it and I’m still learning.

OCD is like an evil monster that wants to make you believe that you cannot control your own life. But believe me, you can! It will not go away on its own and it’s you who needs to fight it and you’re strong enough to do it!

Last question, Where do you see yourself in maybe ten years?
As I mentioned earlier, I have never been much of a planner. I work as a Learning & Development specialist and I’m happy with my career and I think I’m pretty good at my job. My biggest dream has always been to become an author and I’m currently working on a novel that I’d like to publish. It’s about a guy whose life is ruined by OCD and alcoholism and about his journey to get his life back.

So, I guess I see myself working in the education field or if my dreams come true, as an author – I’m happy with either.

I hope that all who read this interview will take a few minutes and visit Overcoming OCD.

I would like to say “Thank You” to Mark for this interview!

Walking In Your Shoes


Barack Obama

“My third piece of advice is to cultivate a sense of empathy – to put yourself in other people’s shoes – to see the world from their eyes. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world.”

For this post I want to flip the idiom “walk a mile in my shoes” to “walk a mile in your shoes”.

I would like to ask you a question, what would I learn if I were to lace up in your shoes?

Would I:

  • learn that you dread getting out of bed in the morning
  • that even with taking meds your depression is still hanging there
  • maybe how you think that nobody truly understands what you are struggling with
  • or that sometimes you fantasize about killing yourself 
  • those troublesome times when you just cannot concentrate on one thing for any length of time
  • how you have panic attacks just thinking about leaving your home
  • that between paying for your meds and therapy you have a hard time managing your other obligations

There are probably a myriad of other things I could learn if I were to walk for some time in your shoes. I just mentioned the ones that came to my mind at the time of writing this post.

So dear reader, if I could walk a mile in those shoes of yours would I have a better sense of what your life is truly like?

Do The Work


“Mental health needs a great deal of attention. It’s the final taboo and it needs to be faced and dealt with.” – Adam Ant

Every day has a job for me to do, it requires my attention every moment, it is there just behind the shadows.  The maintenance of my mental health.  It sure would be easy to neglect it, start sliding backwards, and once again finding myself staring at the abyss,

When I was much younger I was driven by perfection.  I had a habit after I would have my coffee in the morning I would vacuum the carpet in the living room.  I tried to keep everything in it’s place.  Took extra time making sure that my hair was perfect, it was an exercise of using the blow dryer, brush, then extra strong hair spray. 

I find that I am not driven by that part of me that wants perfection.  I like my home clean,  but with a dog that has lots of hair it is an endless battle.  Also, I do not fret if things seem somewhat untidy. Those things are the least of my worries.

My morning routine though is basically the same. I put the coffee maker on, fill the glass on my side table with water, then proceed to take my morning medications in a certain order.  My daily routine is flexible, but one thing that is etched in stone is my medications.

Before turning out the lights I try to find programs with some harmless humor, shows like “Hogan’s Heroes”, “The Carol Burnett Show”, and if I can stay awake an episode of “Perry Mason”.  The reason for the humor I feel it acts like a detox of all the depressing things during the day.

I had read about a man, Cousins, who laughed himself back to healthy.  He locked himself in a hotel room, had all Marx Brothers Films, and other comedies, watched them and laughed himself whole.

Mental Health maintenance truly is a full time job, there is no resting on one’s laurels. You have to be vigilant, always on your guard, avoid some of those who bring nothing but negative drama.  I choose who I allow to have my attention.  I have weeded out those in my family, friends, acquaintances, all who were detrimental to my mental health.

So dear reader, for your own good, your mental health, do the work! 

A Re-blog: Life Update… —

I read this blog of how one person went through a horrific ordeal in coping with depression.

I do not usually comment on the importance of a re-blog, as you read this post you may, like me, feel the pain this blogger experienced!

Hello, readers and bloggers. I don’t really know how to say this. I don’t like talking about this, but I also don’t want to keep it a secret because I have shared so much in the past within the book community. I’ve talked about it on Instagram, Twitter and my past life on booktube. A […]

via Life Update… —



“I didn’t want normal until I didn’t have it anymore”
― Maggie Stiefvater,Lament: The Faerie Queen’s Deception

Teach Me, Let Me Learn – Part One


“Mental illness is not something you misunderstand in this era. Get educated because bias is no different than racism.”
― Shannon L. Alder

Something that they told us when I was in treatment that everyone needs to become their own best advocate.  They really stressed that we needed to ask questions about medications, stand up when people use misinformation about those who are bi-polar.  

During that first admittance I was like a sponge trying to grasp all that was happening around me.  I would sit in the groups writing down everything I thought I needed to remember.  When I was released I read anything and everything about mental health challenges.

One thing I did was the best for myself and also my best friend.  I had him sit in with me while speaking to my Psychiatrist on the exit interview.  It prepared him of what I was going through and what to expect going forward.

When it came to pain medications, such as Oxycontin, I was double dosing without realizing it.  So, when I went in to break the addiction upon coming home I asked if it would be alright for my best friend to manage my medications.  He is still doing it to this day.

I still read as much as I can on the challenges of mental health.  I try to go to well known sources.  If by chance I read a blog that sounds credible I will research what the blogger wrote about.

I do not take it upon myself to self-diagnose for it can be detrimental.  I also do not try some remedies without first talking to my doctor.  There are many things that do not interact well with prescriptions, it can bring about some severe reactions.

So, when it comes to mental health correct information is important!

To be continued…



We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness.

I have been having what I call “brain aches”.  It feels like some wires are not connected properly.  I can be listening to something but if you asked me what was said I would tell you I haven’t a clue.

My usual excuse would be blame it on the medications.  But I wake up and still feel like this.  I have to think what tv programs did I listen to the night before, I just cannot remember.

I find myself frustrated, cranky, and all that goes with those two things.  I truly cannot put my finger on the issue, yet I know somewhere deep there must be one.

If I feel this way, what does the person who has not been able to work at his/her job feel like.  They have to put food on the table, keep a roof above their heads.  Their level frustration must be at eleven!

Then their are all those who are grieving but cannot give their loved one a proper home going.  How must they feel?  I can imagine the utter hopelessness they must be experiencing through everything.  It truly breaks this heart of mine.

So, this fifty-eight year old former pastor prays that there will be a relief in the near future soon!

The Crazy World Of Depression

carry-the-world“It’s okay to be crazy and scared and brave at the same time!”
― Kelly Epperson

Crazy Qoutes

There are those days when I think I just want to scream. Scream about what I don’t know, I just want to scream.

Then there are the days where I feel I could take on the world, have all the answers to life’s woes.  Reality though tells me that I don’t know what I am talking about.

Pills, pills, pills.  Take in the morning, take at supper time, take at bed time.  Green pill to get going, red pill to stop, I take more pills than I eat in calories.

Pardon me, but it is just one of those days that thoughts like these take over.  I try to stay positive in such a negative climate.

So, I will carry on, maybe tomorrow will be a day when the crazy world of depression won’t seem to be so bad!

Making Haste?



We have made mistakes. In our haste to do all things for all people, we did not foresee the full consequences of our actions. And when the people raised their voices, we didn’t hear. But our deafness was only a temporary condition, and not an irreversible condition. Barbara Jordan

Hast Definition:When something is done in haste, it’s done fast, and often with carelessness. In his haste to finish the paper, he didn’t notice he had replaced “taste” with “waste” during spell-checking, so his title became “Foods of Our Home State: What a Waste!”

Before I received treatment, medications, practice what I had learned I was a walking time bomb.  No, not a violent one, but a quick temper to explode and make decisions while in that frame of mind.

For the  record I am not proud of it.  I have made a decision because of my craziness would start in motion the process to move.

I would walk away from things, put someone over the coals, all manner of situations, I wouldn’t stop to think about the consequences that it would cause.  The ripples that would take place because the past would keep popping up.

All those things I done in haste.

Today I can honestly say those days are long gone.  No more hastily decisions, no more flipping my top at someone who should have never been on the receiving end.

I cannot speak for others on this issue, but, my medication regiment works for me. I do not have all of the wild mood swings.

My decisions are made with logic, not made on a dime.  Sometimes, I will leave it for a night, sometimes a day, and sometimes decide changing something is not a good decision at all.

In my last post I spoke about how I caught up all of my bills.  It has taken me many years but I have now built up some credit in case of emergencies with my plumbing and my heating.

It truly is a nicer feeling to know that when my phone rings it is not a bill collector.

Yes, there are times we need to use credit, the major one is purchasing a home. I bought this mobile home on rent to own.  My last payment on it was for one single dollar.  It was something shocking when several weeks later that the man I bought it from died.

It is my hope as I write this post that you, the reader, will take some advice stop and think about how making a decision in haste can be devastating!


On The Pill?


And while we are on the subject of medication you always need to look at risk versus benefit. Temple Grandin

Please, before you start laughing at me and leaving comments about a man and the pill, I am not speaking about the birth control pill…lol!

Now for my blog post.

This issue has many views, views of the pros, views of the cons.  The issue is: Take medications for bi-polar or not.

For me this issue is a personal issue, between my doctor and myself. 

There are others who do not take them for a variety of reasons.  Side effects, not effective, or want to approach with wholistic health.  For those living in America my understanding for some is financial, if you cannot afford the medication it is also ineffective. For these people I offer my sympathies. 

I have written before that everyone is in an unique situation so there is not a one size-fit all.  Our treatment plan therefore are unique to the person.

So, all I can offer in advice is this, to take the pill, or not to take the pill, these are the questions!

Just Live!


“To create more positive results in your life, replace ‘if only’ with ‘next time’.”– Unknown – From:

It seems like yesterday, the day my daughter was born. I was sitting in the waiting area watching t.v.  My mom and her boyfriend decided they were going have some breakfast.  It was a Sunday morning, around 7:05 a.m. a nurse brought a little baby girl out so that I could hold her.  They didn’t clean her up yet, but that didn’t bother me, my whole world at that moment was revolving around this tiny little human.  That tiny little girl has just turn thirty-five years old.

There is something that I use to tell young people, I guess I still would, “before you settle down and start a family do yourself a favor, take some time and see your country.  I was fortunate for I was seeing my country playing the piano or organ, better yet I was being paid.  Those are memories I hold close to me, they are what comforts me when I get the itch to move.

Now I am experiencing a new part of my life, life as a father, and a grateful grandfather.  The youngest turns eight in February.  When they come to visit it gives me a rush of adrenaline.

All through those years I struggled within me, highs and lows, not understanding what was ailing my mind.  It wasn’t until around 2004 I had the answer, I was bi-polar.  With the help of my psychiatrist I was put on a regiment of medications, medications that keep me balance. 

If while you are young and able to go, go see the country, experience other cultures, their food, their music, taste, feel, hear, and listen.  So, when the family comes along you will have some memories that no one, anything can rob you of them.

So, take a deep breath, and just put your foot one in front of the other. Go and just live life to the fullest! You won’t regret it!

Personal Progress Report


Those who improve with age embrace the power of personal growth and personal achievement and begin to replace youth with wisdom, innocence with understanding, and lack of purpose with self-actualization. Bo Bennett

I woke up this morning with this thought on my mind.  That being is, my road to recovery is personal.  It is not a template that can be overlaid on somebody else.

Everyone is at a different moment in their recovery, different age, different circumstances.  Each are on different types of treatments, different medications.  Everyone has to find their personal road to recovery, chart their own progression.

For me my road has taken twists and turns.  I may have days where I will backslide for one reason, I am only human.

One more aspect of this journey I am on, I have started to apply it to my dietary regimen.  I have lost some weight already, no I am no Adonis,  hehehehe  🙂

I have also thought to myself that maybe I am just on the spectrum side of manic.  Whatever this is, I feel that I have taken a couple of steps forward.

I would encourage all who read this not to give up trying. You may take two steps forward then fall three steps back.  The important thing is that you don’t stay back there. Pick yourself up and try and try again.

So, dear reader I lift a glass for your personal success!

Medications – Be Informed 2


This is the last of the medications I take to treat me being bi-polar.  My medications is what keeps me stable.  A lot of mood stabilizers!

Medications Continued



This medication is used to treat certain mental/mood conditions (such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, sudden episodes of mania or depression associated with bipolar disorder). Quetiapine is known as an anti-psychotic drug (atypical type). It works by helping to restore the balance of certain natural substances (neurotransmitters) in the brain.

Side Effects

Constipation, drowsiness, upset stomach, tiredness, weight gain, blurred vision, or dry mouth may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, tell your doctor promptly.

Dizziness or light headedness may occur, especially when you first start or increase your dose of this drug. Dizziness and light headedness can increase the risk of falling. Get up slowly when rising from a sitting or lying position.

Information from:


Middle Age & Bi-Polar


Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier.
Dan Bennett

As a kid growing up I never thought about that the year will one day be 2000.  Old was my grandparents, or at least they looked like it.  No thought given to being vulnerable, rather the opposite, indestructible.  Never gave thought to my mortality, just a naive kid who thought that playing games, watching silly tv shows would go on forever and ever.

Then came the heady twenties.  Thoughts of making millions of dollars, living in spacious houses, dreams of pots of gold at the end of every rainbow.  Wondering who I would eventually fall in love with, have a dream wedding, settle down and then think about starting a wonderful family.  Like the host of some game show, “all this could be yours…”.

The next thing I realized the my “happily ever after” life was falling apart, that I didn’t have the answers to fix everything that was going wrong.  Believing full heartily what the preacher said “till death do you part” because divorce was for someone else, not you.

My forties are somewhat sketchy, in and out of treatment, battling blood clots, pneumonia didn’t leave much time to be carefree.

Present day, beginning to stare at the age of sixty somewhat looking forward to it.  Why, because I have come to grips with being a middle age, white hair, not so thin, man.

I love the fact of three pre-teen grandchildren when they visit because all that hyper energy is for the young to raise.

I have accepted the fact of living in a bi-polar brain, taking my medications for the rest of my life, including Warfarin to prevent blood clots forming again in my body.

Yes, I am a fifty-eight year old middle age man who just happens to suffer with being bi-polar who is at ease with the whole thing!

Medications – Be Informed


When you’re clinically depressed the serotonin in your brain is out of balance and probably always will be out of balance. So I take medication to get that proper balance back. I’ll probably have to be on it the rest of my life.  Terry Bradshaw

Periodically I am going to write about medications, their use, their side effects.  I will only use my own personal medications that I am on.

Logo for WebMD All information will come directly from the website, WebMd

Amitriptyline HCL


This medication is used to treat mental/mood problems such as depression. It may help improve mood and feelings of well-being, relieve anxiety and tension, help you sleep better, and increase your energy level. This medication belongs to a class of medications called tricyclic antidepressants. It works by affecting the balance of certain natural chemicals (neurotransmitters such as serotonin) in the brain.
Drowsiness, dizziness, dry mouth, blurred vision, constipation, weight gain, or trouble urinating may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, notify your doctor or pharmacist promptly.

Side Effects

Drowsiness, dizziness, dry mouth, blurred vision, constipation, weight gain, or trouble urinating may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, notify your doctor or pharmacist promptly.



Baclofen is used to treat muscle spasms caused by certain conditions (such as multiple sclerosis, spinal cord injury/disease). It works by helping to relax the muscles

Side Effects

Drowsiness, dizzinessweakness, tiredness, headachetrouble sleepingnausea, increased urination, or constipation may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, tell your doctor or pharmacist promptly.



Citalopram is used to treat depression. It may improve your energy level and feelings of well-being. Citalopram is known as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). This medication works by helping to restore the balance of a certain natural substance (serotonin) in the brain.

Side Effects

Nausea, dry mouth, loss of appetite, tiredness, drowsiness, sweating, blurred vision, and yawning may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, tell your doctor or pharmacist promptly.

This is not a complete list of possible side effects. If you notice other effects not listed above, contact your doctor or pharmacist.

In the US –
Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088 or at

In Canada – Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to Health Canada at 1-866-234-2345.

A Re-blogg Facts You Need to Know About Depression Medication — No Stress

Facts You Need to Know About Depression Medication Most important in depression treatment anti depressant medication is always included. However, people are unaware that it does not cure depression. The depression is treated by simply working on depression symptoms and by curing it. As the depression symptoms are under control, the person under depression should…

via Facts You Need to Know About Depression Medication — No Stress

The 24 Hour Bully

The people who are bullying you, they’re insecure about who they are, and that’s why they’re bullying you. It never has to do with the person they’re bullying. They desperately want to be loved and be accepted, and they go out of their way to make people feel unaccepted so that they’re not alone. Madelaine Petsch

If you haven’t you probably know someone who has had to contend with a schoolyard bully.  You know, the one who picks on the weaker to make himself feel better, does it to make himself feel good.

Or maybe it is a bully on the workplace, one who likes to throw his weight around. It may be his position in the company, his seniority.  Likes to take pot shots at those he feels superior over.

For those two there is some reprieve, at the end of the school day, and the end of the day at work.

The Bully Of A Different Kind

endless clock.gifThere is a different kind of bully, one that there is no reprieve, no way to escape from it’s taunts, ridicules, and harsh words.  That bully is what I will call “the 24 Hour Bully”. You must understand that this bully is within each of us if we so choose to allow it dwell there.

The 24 hour bully is there when we awaken every morning, follows us all through the day, and then there in our bedroom when it is time to go to sleep.  

Yes, I know there is medication that can quiet the loud voice in our mind, numb it’s effects of the hurt it inflicts upon us.  These medications for me leaves me with hangovers the next day leaving me feeling detached from what is happening around me. I hate this feeling, I do not feel alive inside me.

So, try as hard as I can this 24 hour bully just won’t shut up!

Mental Health & Finances


“When the purse becomes empty, the mind becomes full of issues.”
― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Stress is a main stay of life.  There is stress at the job, raising children, keeping a roof above your head.  Now the stress of not having enough money.  All these circumstances can lead to monumental problems.

Let’s change the picture, one where you subtract the job, creates a totally different stress.  A stress that over powers everything else in your life.  It is all consuming during your day, and the last thing you think about as you fall asleep.

Now add to the mix health problems such as mental health issues.  Now you need medications along with everything else that demands your finances.  Medications can be very costly, this writer knows all too well.

I just did a Google search and the good news is that there are “compassionate” programs offered by pharmaceutical makers. This can be a burden lifter for those with a very limited income.

In Canada some provincial governments also have “compassionate” programs for those who cannot afford their medications. Suggestion, ask your pharmacist the next time you need a refill.  They have a wealth of knowledge on which programs are available.  Sometimes all you need to cover is the dispensing fee.

So, take some time, do the research, swallow your pride and ask for help.  There is help out there, just look!

10 Myths and facts about mental illness — Mental health from the other side

As a former mental health nurse and ward manager for many years in East London’s busiest mental health settings I was used to the many misconceptions people (including carers, visitors, family and friends) had. Here are my top 10. Mental illness won’t affect me. FACT – Mental illnesses are surprisingly common; they do not discriminate—they […]

via 10 Myths and facts about mental illness — Mental health from the other side

Aching Memories


“Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don’t believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it’s good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.”
― Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

Memories, good, the bad, and the ugly.  Some you want to keep forever for they remind of a time gone past that was warm, comforting, and full of love.

Then there are those memories you wish there was a way to erase, no totally delete them from the cobwebs in your mind.  These are times that I would never want to experience again, or anyone for that matter to experience.  I will call them my aching memories.

It is when I am depressed that these memories seem to float to the top of my thoughts.  I try as I might, but, just cannot stop them from haunting me.  I wake up with them, they are there when I have too much free time, and are there when I close my eyes at night.

Oh, there is medications that can suppress them for a period of time, but are there when the medication wanes.

So, all I have left is too try to raise those good memories and hope they give relief to my “aching memories”.