Vulnerable

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“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”Crissi Jami

Last night as I was laying in bed the word “Vulnerable” came to my mind.

vul·​ner·​a·​ble | \ ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl  ˈvəl-nər-bəl \

Definition of vulnerable

1capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2open to attack or damage ASSAILABLE vulnerable to criticism
3liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge

I began to mull this over in my mind and several thoughts came into focus.

For most of my adult life I have been very closed to allowing anyone to get to close to me.  I suppose I didn’t want to be hurt, or betrayed. In the past I have been both, hurt and betrayed.

I began to build walls to keep others out, but those same walls kept me from going out. It was like a bird in a cage.  It’s movement is somewhat restricted.

It is terrible to go through life questioning everyone’s motive, distrust becomes a constant companion.

When I started this blog I didn’t write anything about myself, I did not want to make myself a target, I didn’t want to become vulnerable to attacks.

These past couple of years since I began writing about my struggles with mental health issues has been quite a revelation to me.  I purposely made myself vulnerable, I opened my emotions to unknown readers, unknown people. 

I have been amazed because what happened was nothing like the things I was thinking would happen didn’t. What I have found that ninety-nine percent of people are caring, understanding, thoughtful, warm.  I was expecting negativity and instead I received positive.  Becoming vulnerable was something that brought about good.

I truly understand those who are going through emotions about becoming vulnerable, afraid of criticism, mocking, and betrayal.  Opening up by writing in a blog would not be my first choice to present myself as vulnerable.

So dear reader, just maybe open yourself up, make yourself vulnerable, take a chance.  Like in the movie, one line comes to mind, “Baby steps, baby steps”!(What About Bob)

HELP?

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Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new.

For many years I wouldn’t ask for help from anybody.  I thought if I did I would appear weak.  To be completely honest it was just my stupid pride that kept me from asking.

I have over the past ten years or so I have learned that asking for help is what I need sometimes.  I am no longer embarrassed to ask someone to help me.  I found out people want to help.  Many times they could see I needed it, but they were not sure if they should offer the help.

Eventually everyone sometimes in their life they are going to need help.  It may be physical, financial (that one can be iffy), and last but not least, mental health help. There is absolutely no shame in asking.  

I would like to share the lyrics of a Beatles song, “Help” for I feel it says what I am thinking about the subject.

I need somebody
(Help!) not just anybody
(Help!) you know I need someone
Help!
I never needed anybody’s help in any way
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured (but now these days are gone)
(And now I find) Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors
Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me?
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways (and now my life has changed)
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure (I know that I)
I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before
Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round
Help me get my feet back on the…
So, I hope that my thoughts about asking for help has come through clearly!

Tough Times?

 

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Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

 

My strength did not come from lifting weights. My strength came from lifting myself up when I was knocked down.”– Bob Moore

The last several days have been tough.  It has been hard just to find the effort to get out of bed.  It would have been oh so easy just to stay there.

The clock seemed like it was going slower than usual, the hours felt like they would never change.  Days melted from one into the other.

I give myself mental encouragement chats, sometimes they seem to work, other times they just don’t.

I keep reminding myself I have been through down times before, yet, I somehow found the strength to go through them.  Always keeping in mind some of the lessons that I learned doing so.

Today I decided just to sit at my laptop and summoned all that is within me to write this post.  Finding the courage to keep my thoughts in some logical order, not the chaotic ones I have been having lately.

So, I remind myself today the words of Rev. Robert Schuller, “Tough times never last, tough people do”!

He Gives Strength To The Weak

November 7, 2019

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Isaiah 40: [The Message Bible]
29  He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts.
30  For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
31  But those who wait upon GOD get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.

When we are at our weakness God is at His strongest.

There are times when I think that I cannot move forward, just trying my legs feel like there are weights on them.  Lifting them seems like an impossible task.

Dealing with mental health challenges magnifies the feeling of hopelessness.

So, my progress is not dependent on my strength, it is totally dependent on God’s strength alone!