***Caution, I may write about some issues that might be a trigger to some.***
“If someone asks you how you are, you are meant to say FINE. You are not meant to say that you cried yourself to sleep last night because you hadn’t spoken to another person for two consecutive days. FINE is what you say.”
― Gail Honeyman, Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine
Where were they when I would wake up from nightmares containing my family in a care crossing a river, terrified I was thinking that my father was going to drive us over the guard rails and into the river. It is funny that I am finally letting this issue out for I have never spoken about it.
Did they know I was lying when they asked me how did I get a bruise on my cheek, fearing if I said something it would cause another session of rage? If they did know why didn’t they speak up, tell the authorities, just why did they hear no evil?
I would go to school in the dark, go home in the dark praying that he was already in bed. I kept this silent because of the fear of confrontation. Fear keeping me from speaking out to someone who would hear some evil, afraid they wouldn’t believe me. I am sure there were some that could sense the air filled with tension, but they acted like they didn’t hear any evil.
I was screaming for help and finding little, everyone turned a deaf hear so that they wouldn’t hear those screams. I have finally left all that behind, I no longer have to scream in silence.
There are so many things that people refuse to hear:
- The woman who has been raped
- A battered spouse who thinks she is in a box, she/he is told that they cannot survive on their own.
- The mother who stays in a abusive marriage because of the children.
- The young girl who starts bed wetting again because of sexual abuse
- All those young males who were sexually abused by the very ones who were suppose to protect them from the predators. The hierarchy develops a tin ear refusing to take action with the abusive clergy man.
There are many who like me are screaming for help but nobody wants to hear the screams.
So dear reader if you have someone coming to you screaming about their abuse, mental health issues give them your ears for them to tell their story. Have them sit down, bring them a coffee, tea, water, just listen, make no pre-judgments about their situation.